Back in my day...
I know I am not that old, I am 24, but back in my day, my mom would slap me if I ever back talked, cursed, responded with "WHAT?!" or had an attitude. I was happy with beans and rice to eat every day all day. I never owned a single name brand object. My mom would whip me with anything she could get ahold of, which I can now look back and laugh at. I would never dare say, "What's up?" to an elder, seeing it was viewed as disrespectful. My chores where cooking, cleaning, washing, and ironing, from the age of 5. We went to church every Sunday and if you so much fidget, you'd get the evil eye.
Gosh, I miss the good old days. I would never lay a hand on a child in any malicious way or form, but sometimes I want to choke my step son when he pops an attitude. Today, we are picking him up and we already have two issues to address.
One: His attitude is out of control, way out of hand
Two: He was suppose to go to a baseball game but instead he lied and went to someone else's house.
Gah, the frustrations! I'm just glad they start school this week.
I never have and never will
I never have and never will raise my hand to a child. EVER. I never saw it as an effective disciplinary tool. I've said it many times in other topics.
My experience was simiar. I
My experience was simiar. I am 25. However I think it's a cultural thing. Heck I'm 23 & if I talk back to my mom or get huffy she STILL may smack me in the mouth. Where I'm from, you respect your elders. End of story.
However, you can't make other people raise their kids that way. Just sit back stay out if it & if they turn out to be rude annoying brats that's their parents problem.
I used to correct SD13 and
I used to correct SD13 and tell her,"hey- I'm an adult, not one of your friends in the schoolyard. Speak properly with me."
She is out of line with her grandparents too, but no one corrects her because they are afraid little princess will get too upset.
She has one friend at school and they are inseparable, because they are both socially backward and awkward- more awkward than 13yr olds already are...lol
DH is haphazard with his teaching of manners, he tries, but sometimes I see he just wants to enjoy his 10hrs a month with her and be done with it. I have since stopped correcting anything and when she becomes a rude insolent teen? Oh well....
Same here it's really
Same here it's really impossible to teach manners as a NCP with less than 5 days a month during the school year. Just gotta do the best you can.
Maybe, maybe not. I can say
Maybe, maybe not. I can say that my ex had no trouble enforcing his rules at his home on one w/e a month. Of course, maybe it helped that the kids knew I wouldn't tolerate their disobedience or misbehavior, no matter where it took place.
Yeah but it's always
Yeah but it's always reprogramming when they get back from BM's if BM doesn't enforce same rules. & that's hard to do in 2 days on a weekend EOWE.
I didn't have the same rules
I didn't have the same rules as my ex and his wife. They actually did get that the two homes had different rules. Oh, and Dad could not have cared less if they behaved for me. I think he'd have been pleased if they didn't.
Agreed. And quite honestly?
Agreed. And quite honestly? I don't care enough anymore about how she turns out. DH hasn't seen her in a month because her BM is a POS that PAS's.
SD is never around my family or friends anymore, so however she behaves is none of my business.
We have EOWE, but only one day. Poor guy only sees her 4 days a month, if princess decides to see him.
I grew up doing chores, and
I grew up doing chores, and respecting elders as well - I always tell my SS5 he has it easy, at that age I was making sure my mom had her morning Dr Pepper by the sink when she got out of the shower. Hence - my post about chores which I am still trying to completely figure out.
I will say it's hard having SS max 14 days a month if DH is home and making him separate that women need respect since as far as I know BM gets absolutely none from him - luckily DH will do his best to correct him.
As I've gotten older I do have a different relationship with my family and elders though I respect them but after my parents divorce, and everything that has happened with my father we have all become a very open family - but I would still never say certain things in-front of some of them.