In the beginning of this roller coaster ride of stepmom I was at arms all of the time. If something didn't go the way I thought it should I would get angry and it would affect my relationship with my DH. Only because I didn't agree with his nonchalant attitude. Don't get me wrong I will stand up for myself when my time is affected but I'm not going to get involved in BMs ignorance. I think she is a terrible parent, that's MY opinion, no one elses. I have thrown many a fit trying to get BM to be a better parent. Then one day I stopped and asked myself,"Why would you want to help her in anyway shape, form, or fashion?" #1 You can't fix stupid. And by doing that I was hurting myself by being angry all the time. I justified by saying that the kids deserved better than what they were getting. Then I realized they get what they need in a parent from ME!!! So I am choosing to be the better parent so to speak. I'm not going to throw my fits about BM so that she will change. Afterall, I could care less what she does.