I have 2 teenage boys (13 and 15) and am dating a man for over a year that has 3 little girls (5,7,9). We are not engaged or planning to marry yet, but have discussed it and can't seem to get over 1 issue, which seems to always be my kids.

My boys are difficult. They had an abusive father who they only see for 2 weeks a year and they live with me full time. They fight constantly and it often gets out of control, i.e., physical or screaming. They are and have been in counseling for 3 years and we continue to work on their behavior and parenting strategies for me. I should note that my 13 year old has severe ADHD, and this is often the cause of arguments, because he just lacks impulse control. The 15 year old seems to be angry all the time but is overall a nice kid. In fact, they are both sweet kids...but they do seem to fight with each other all the time. They don't have problems with other kids, or with my BFs kids. They treat his kids nicely all the time.

My issue is that his little girls get scared when my boys fight in front of them. My BF is concerned that my boy's behavior is not typical teenage stuff and that it is going to affect his little girls and he doesn't want them exposed to the fighting.

His girls are very sweet, but also very demanding and he gives them all of his attention constantly, sometimes ignoring me and definitely ignoring my children, who crave his attention. He says his kids ages just require more attention and since he only has them every other week, he wants to spend all his time with them. They have no bedtimes, sleep in his bed, even when I sleep over, and never let us spend any time alone if we are in the same house.

I'm really confused about staying in the relationship, because it seems that he wants me to accept his kids but won't accept mine. I know my kids are difficult, but I work so hard every day to help them get along and they are teenage boys afterall, so some of their behavior is normal. Am I just being stupid in staying with him or am I wrong to be angry when he says he wants to keep my kids away from his kids. I love my kids and I love him and his kids, but I feel like he wants me to put him and his kids ahead of my own kids.

Any advice? We aren't even thinking about blending our families with all this going on, but how do we navigate the blending that just happens when you are dating? I can't seem to find much info on how to date and get to a point where you can actually blend.

Please help!