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dealing with rude sd that has no boundaries

ta5's picture

My 11 yr old Sd is so rude! Says outrageous crap and it hurts my feelings...... first of all some background she has an eatting disorder won't eat much and most of the time pulls out a box of cereal cuz she doesn't like the food. Then she slowly eats what is on the table. Yes she gets attention due to food. She said how come you always make fattening food your making my daddy fat he has never been this fat. We had speghetti n french bread for crying out loud. He is the same weight when I met him 2 yrs ago. But its all my fault. Come on. I was pissed and it ruined my night. I think they both think I am responsible for his weight. Unreal he has a tummy but its bcuz he is 50 and drinks! His lunch consist of jello a half of sandwitch and a piece of fruit he has a yogurt for breakfast and we never eat out. I make healthy meals and he has small portions and never seconds. He is. 5 ft 9 and weighs 220. My ex was 63 and 210 I fed him for 20 yrs. How can I explain that its not me.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

I think you are getting waaaayyyy too wrapped up into what an 11 year old said to you. Who cares? My son is 11, and while he is not normally rude he does make comments on things he knows nothing about. It is part of being that age between a kid and a tween. I usually go "uh huh" and move on.

And if by age 11 she has an eating disorder she needs to be getting some sort of treatment by medical professionals. Is she?

Aeron's picture

Suggest she do the cooking.

And if daddy thinks you're responsible for his weight, tell him to grow up and hand him the calorie count on his liquids.

But mostly, yea, you need to blow this off. Yes she's being rude,yes it sucks and someone should talk to her about being rude. But why are you letting this get to you? Just because someone wants to blame you doesn't make it true or mean you have to accept it. If she were getting snarky and blaming you for the weather, would you care?

ta5's picture

She won't eat stirfry no burgers there too thick only cereal or mac n cheese sheinto is 60 lbs and wears a childs size 5 going into 6 grade at that age I was over 100. She uses food for power. Very picky. No chicken unless its wendy chicken nuggets. She said she was going to just go to her moms to eat. She wants her dad to hate me bottom line. She is jealous. At thanksgiving she had cereal its not about the food. If I make mac n cheese sometimes she refuses it says it too thick. She leaves tomorrow so things will be back to normal. My kids eat what is on there plate and are normal. Its all about attention. She is an attention hound its never enough.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

And that is exactly what happens when people punish with food. It just begets more and more food problems/struggles.

Edit: Oops I have no idea why this post posted under Echo.

ta5's picture

Thank you your right I shouldn't care. Your right he allows her to talk like that. She talks even more rude to him. She is 11 and wears a childs size 5 my kids wore that in kindergarden. She is grossly thin. She refuses to eat and yep from now on I won't care . I cant

NonEvilStepmom's picture

where the hell is DH while this is going on? My DH would NEVER let SD7 talk to me like that. But you don't even NEED him to have your back. You stand your ground and tell that little girl that
she has no right to talk to you like that. She is a child and she better be greatful that you're in her life.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

Ok it could be an "eating disorder" or it could be something else. My oldest SS has very similar eating problems. He is big on textures of food. He will eat nothing dairy or creamy. Can you imagine a kid NOT eating ice cream? He won't eat cheese because he thinks he is lactose intolerant. (He has never, ever been DX with that.)He has been this way since he was 3. He would only eat chicken nuggets and pop tarts or corn. Really it was ridiculous. He was clearly mental over it and had no problem going without eating meals as that was not an effective punishment.

As he got older he clearly has OCD/anxiety. We had him tested for several things over the years none of which brought on a diagnosis, but IMO there is something going on there and it manifests with food.