Dirty, lazy skids driving me mad
I remarried a year ago. Never having lived with my new husband before I married him. He has three kids aged 17, 19 and 10. First two girls and last a boy. They are the messiest, laziest kids I have ever met. They leave their soiled panties on the floor, leave dishes all over the house and binge eat then stick their sweet papers anywhere they can to hide it. They have interests in nothing but TV and play station. When they visit every second weekend I try to ignore it all. But for the sake of my daughters upbringing and teaching them the right way, I make sure that I keep the house tidy so my girls don't have to endure the mess. I don't go into the bedroom they share as I would have heart failure. They eat us out of house and home never taking into consideration that maybe someone else would like some of the treats. They are very fussy eaters only eating meat and starch. No vegetables. The youngest boy has terrible table manners to the extent that I feel sick when I have to watch him eat. How do I deal with this. I don't want it to ruin my marriage as I love my husband dearly. He protects them as I think he is afraid they will say they will not come visit again if he lays down the rules for them! Help!!!!!
I have the same issues with
I have the same issues with my skids. dirty, disrespectful of my home, and very glutenous eaters. Both severly overweight, and no interest in doing anything that would be considered excersize, ie riding a bike, swimming (we have a pool), trampoline (have one of those too). All they do is lay around, eat and watch TV. My SS12 still doesn't know how to wipe himselve and he smells of poop all the time. They don't shower unless I remind them to, and neither of them EVER brush their teeth, even when reminded. Totally grosses me out. :sick:
Now with that being said....there's nothing YOU can do about it. It must be bio mom and bio dad correcting these very unclean unhealthy habits. But they won't, trust me. I live it everyday and have for the last 7 years. I've raised my children to be clean, healthy individuals and my skids constantly look at my daughter and say, "I wish I looked like her." but they do nothing but blame their genetics for all of their problems.
I LOOK AWAY, try not to focus on it, and when asked by my friends and family, "why is nothing being done about those children and their hygene?" I simply say, "ask their father and their mother, because it's not my kids. I tried and they just don't listen to me."
I'm sorry, I wish I had a better answer for you. But it's the only answer I have.
Is this the norm when raising
Is this the norm when raising step-kids ??If so ,count me out !!!!!
I understand your frustration
I understand your frustration and feel for you, esp having 3!? Wow. Be happy it's only every 2nd weekend. I know that doesn't help, but try having them full time like me and you will know what real hel* is. I wish my SD12 only came twice a month. I'd be thrilled and would just find something else to do. But when you have them full time there is nothing to do but deal with it day in and day out. Try disengaging in your OWN HOME every day of the week. It sucks!
Thank you for all the
Thank you for all the responses. Ideally I am looking to harmonize the family. However after reading all the responses I realise I cannot do anything at their ages to improve their state of cleanliness. Wish me luck as I am also going to a wedding next month and they are attending with their mother. I hope and pray I don't let rip at her about her lack of educating them on eating habits and general hygiene. My advice is to stay away from divorced men with children. The guilt trip they have is unbearable and there appears to be nothing you can do about it. All that keeps me going is it's only 5 days a month" Arghhhhh.
And....divorced women with
And....divorced women with kids as well !!!!!
Unfortunatly, I don't think
Unfortunatly, I don't think there's much you can do. My SD is only 5 but is already a lazy slob. She has been taught that she doesn't need to clean up after herself, wash her hands after using the bathroom, brush her teeth, etc. Every night my DH sends her to bed with chocolate milk and a bag of potato chips. Her eating habits and just awful. I buy fruits and veggies but of course she prefers ice cream and cupcakes.
I tried for a LONG time to get her to eat healthier (I don't buy the junk food, my DH does) but it has been to no avail. Finally, I realized- NOT MY KID, NOT MY PROBLEM and I have had so much less stress! If she wants to stuff her face with sweets and her father allows it, that is not my problem. I have already warned them both that eating that way will lead to her becoming overweight (she gets no exercise- she sits inside and plays with DH's phone all day) but they don't want to hear it so I say go ahead DH, feed your kid until she blows up & all I will say is I told you so!!
The only thing I cannot give in on is the mess in my house. The kid will not destroy my home that I work hard to try and keep clean and neat. If she makes a mess, she needs to clean it up. I am not a maid and I am not her mother.