OMG HELP
:jawdrop: So i just married a wonderful beautiful sex lady ..... were both bikers and both have kids ... my kids 11y/o boy 14 y/o girl the step kids 14 & 18 y/o boys .... okay so heres my deal their both SLOBS thier room smells of BO since they don't shower theirs food all over cups dishes dirty cloths and shit all over the place .... my new wife is also a bit of a mess as far as cloths go she loves using the floor as a hamper .... now i'm no clean freak i divorced a germ phobic tight ass ...... so i don't wanna become that but OMG these kids are SLOBS and they will not do anything with out being told 10 times to do it ..... i moved in with her after the marriage so i'm in their house ..... her idea of dealing with it is to close the door .....
I want to fire bomb the room and start from scratch ...lol
what am i looking for .... well how do you get a 14 y/o spoiled brat to care about personal space and hygiene
and an 18 y/o (GAY) male to be responsible ? ? he doen't do shit for anyone but his BF and thats another thing ..... i accept he's gay fine but dont push that shit in my face .... he wants his BF to sleep over .... i have said NO your 18 go get a motel .... ahhha now you need a job ... !! yeah it almost worked .....
i dont dislike the boys i am just so fucking tired of the mess and stink ,....
I hate to tell you this, but
I hate to tell you this, but the problem isn't the step-sons.....it's their mother. Unless you're ready to take a hard line with all three of them, then there is nothing you can do about it.
Except your firebomb idea.
Exactly what I was just about
Exactly what I was just about to type. Obviously, mom wasn't much of a mom. I'm afraid for you that she might have been one of those women who puts on a really good show until they're married and then turns into a lazy self-righteous princess. I really hope not, but she sure is doing a FANTASTIC job of raising two. Hmm.
Their mom is going to have to
Their mom is going to have to put her foot down. Your job is to get her to want to. And to get them to want to.
Yelling, nagging etc do not work. So... go for the sneak attack.
$1.25 at any grocery store.
One can of sardines.
Peel open can, pour the juice in a few different places in their room, NOT THE FISH, leave no evidence!
Wait a few days.
Then as your passing outside their bedroom door with your wife on your way to bed, sniff, and delicately ask if she needs time for a shower before bed.
No new bride wants to hear her groom even delicately state she smells like crotch rot. She will hunt down the smell and ensure it is cleaned up.
Trust me.
My sons room was a sty when DH and I moved in together.
Worked like a damn charm and I rode that kids ASS until the day he moved out to ensure it stayed clean!
**Note: I am presuming this
**Note: I am presuming this is what DH did, since I found the can of sardines uneaten in the trash with no juice and my sons room smelled of six month unwashed va-jay-jay.
And yeah, DH rides a bike too. His sense of humor is a lil off center.
But don't pour it on the
But don't pour it on the carpet. LOL
BAHAHAHAHA!!!! I don't even
BAHAHAHAHA!!!! I don't even know who you are "Just.His.Wife", but I feel we could be the absolute best of friends. This is the most hilarious thing I have ever read.
I now worship at the alter of
I now worship at the alter of the ultimate SParent. Classic. I like it. If the kids are a stinky mess then help them out with their aspirations and elevate the stank to world class levels to make a point or get the SO to step up.
I love it.
Hrmmm... if we could parse
Hrmmm... if we could parse out the issues here, it seems that you have two problems:
1) You're uncomfortable with your Skids' hygiene
2) You're uncomfortable with your SS's sexual orientation
The first should be the easier to address. Even though it's your wife's home, you're the man of the house now. Have a talk with her and then call a family meeting. I assume your kids have been held to a higher standard of cleanliness, so frame your talk with your wife that way. Your kids are younger, so you don't want them getting any ideas. This might hurt your wife's feelings a bit, but if it's about the kids, then I'm sure she'll understand.
As for the second part, that's difficult. Based on what you wrote, you seem to relate homosexuality to irresponsibility and poor hygiene. Maybe examine those feelings and ask yourself if that's really fair. I agree with you that kids (even those over 18) shouldn't have their SOs sleeping over. However, your attitude worries me a bit. If your daughter turned 18 and wanted her boyfriend to sleep over, would that be "putting it in your face"?
Just an honest question, don't mean to offend.
I see where your going with
I see where your going with this.. but he did state he wanted the 18 year old to be more responsible too and the hotel would mean the kid had to get a job.
And with the ages of his kids I can see where he would not want anyone's BF/GF spending the night. Regardless of their sexual orientation.
Oh, I agree. As I stated
Oh, I agree. As I stated above, I wouldn't want SOs sleeping over either.
It was just the "putting it in my face" part and the "(GAY)" part that tipped me off to the OP's apparent discomfort with the issue as a whole.
IF MY DAUGHTER WAS 18 and
IF MY DAUGHTER WAS 18 and wanted her BF to sleep over it would be the same ..... i know she may be having sex but not under my roof ....so that all same same ...
and as for hi, being gay ... i realy dont care either way .... he's gay treue he's irresponsible true and he stinks true ..... all seperate issues guess i lumped them sorry .... and at 18 i had 2 jobs this kid has a car no job and a BF that lives 45 mins away and he has to be bus driver everywere ....
The problem is not your
The problem is not your Skids, the problem is your wife. She apparently missed the day in mom class that covered holding your kids accountable.
However, you live there, you provide for the family and owner or not, it is your home. So, inform SS-18 and SS-14 that they either shower daily and keep their room(s) clean or you will pile all of the disorderly crapin the middle of their bedding. bundle it up and leave it on the curb .... every time it is a mess. And if you smell them they can either leave or shower. If they don't call the police and have them evicted.
One thing I learned early in my marriage to a formerly single mom is that we have to be equity partners in all things including equity parents to any children living in the marrital home. It is YOUR marrital home as much as it is DW's even if she owns the property.
As for your DW's clothes, I would suggest a more tender approach than what you take with any of the kids in your home. Buy a hamper and cram her crap in when she leaves it on the floor.
All IMHO of course.
Good luck.
Sincerely,