Does your SO do this? If so, does it bother you? Should it bother me?
Okay, this is not a huge issue, just one that gets under my skin. Any time his kids are not with us, we spend quality time together, always doing something. (We have full custody, BM is not allowed contact of any kind, so we never get time without them except weekends or summer) When his son calls and asks what he is/has been doing, he might say nothing or he might tell him something that he thinks SS10 wants to hear about. But when SD14 who is EXTREMELY jealous of me in a very inappropriate way calls and asks the same question, he always says something that sounds awful in a miserable tone. For instance, she just called and asked the question, as mundanely as possible he said, "I'm (first problem) just sitting here watching it rain.". Well, no, actually WE watched a movie that was awesome, went to a new restaurant which was awsome, played games, and now we are getting ready to go look at a piece of land that we are hopefully buying. I don't want him to rub things in her face, but I also don't want him to make it sound like without her his life with me is just SO F*CKING MISERABLY BORING. Is this worth approaching with him, or just one of those things I should keep to myself. I feel as though doing this, he enables their hierarchy in the house over me, but at the same time I know that he is probably doing it to avoid things like the time he and I went fishing and he found a mussel shell that was 10 inches long in perfect condition. She came home and asked me what we had done, I told her we went fishing and showed her the really cool shell that her dad had found for me. (Looking back, I should have left out the "for me" part, but I was new and didn't realize that could be a problem) I put it in the yard in the sun to dry and she went over and stomped it to bits. But, I also feel like those are problems that he needs to address head on, now cower away from. Input please. Put up and shut up, or do I have a valid reason to be bothered like this and it is worth addressing with him.
Ask him which is real? Is he
Ask him which is real? Is he really that miserable with you or is he happy with you? Because he's lying to someone. Lying I not good.
Pretty sure she's talking
Pretty sure she's talking about her SO, not a SS...
Oh honey, I have that
Oh honey, I have that problem. SD's constant lies of me abusing her have made it necessary to install surveillance in my home. However, he in my complaint is DH and her is SD. Otherwise, I wouldn't have a problem if it were the kids telling BM this.
He says because it is none of
He says because it is none of her business what he is doing. He aggravated me about what was bothering me until I finally just told him. Fine then, but I see this fueling her agenda of coming between he and I when she starts to think that he no longer enjoys his time with me. And she is REALLY good at tearing he and I apart.
My dh does this when talking
My dh does this when talking with ysd..goes on and on about how much he misses her and carries on during phone conversations as if she is the only thing in his life that matters...but then he might slip up and say something that indicates it's not quite true (that I really matter too)
It annoys me when he does this and sometimes I've called him out when I know he is downplaying our relationship
Sounds as if your husband is doing this because of how jealous his daughter is of you. BUT he needs to understand the message he is sending to YOU whenever he downplays your relationship/time with him to her. While he doesn't need to rub anything in sd's face or contribute to her jealous feelings, he needs to also consider yours and how it makes you feel when he sounds like all time spent with you was barely okay/boring/no where near as great as time spent with sd
Our dh's just don't get it sometimes! If we were to downplay our time/relationship with them in front of others that would not go over well. I know my dh would call me out on it. Yet, it's totally different when its him talking with sd
My stepfather did this to his
My stepfather did this to his bio kids, who lived on the other side of the country, all the time! He would make out to them that he was miserable living with us and that he was just so sad all the time, missing them.
When he died, his bio kids said to my mom that they would never forgive him for doing that to them. They said it was hard enough to know that he had left them and that he was living far away with some other woman and, even worse, some other woman's kids, but to make matters worse by always making them feel sorry for him and imagining their dad miserable, was something they found really hard to handle and, like I said, they would never forgive him for that!
Anyway, I thought I would share that with you because your story reminded me of it. With the best will in the world, these weak men have no idea of the damage they are doing to their children. They drive me insane with their short-sighted solutions!
And, for the record, my DH did this all the time too until I told him about my stepdad and his biokids.
Tell him to grow up and keep
Tell him to grow up and keep his emotional baggage to himself. His kids should not be charged with the stress of keeping him happy .. or feeling sad for him.
If they want to be whiney little brats, so be it .. but he's an ADULT. He needs to act like one.
Beyond that, I would ignore him or make him walk into another room if he wants to pout on the phone with his princess.