How would DH feel about SD becoming a Stepmom?

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We've heard it all from DH, right? It's ok, just deal with it, they r only kids, my ex just needs a little help, etc.

I was discussing this topic on another post, and thought it would make an interesting discussion.

We, as stepmoms (parents) have been expected to have endless love and patience. What would DH say or think about HIS daughter having to live with what had been expected of his own wife?

Any thoughts?

Does he blame his kids now,

Does he blame his kids now, for you having a hard time?

Kind of like, "They are just

Kind of like, "They are just kids, it's not their fault, you're the adult, just deal with it, and be ever forgiving and understanding and loving???"

It would only bother DF if

It would only bother DF if his girls allowed the SKs, BM and/or SO to disrespect or use her.

DF is big on teaching kids to stand up for themselves so that they do not grow into weak adults.

Of course he is. I won't

Of course he is.

I won't stay with a man who has an issue with me requiring his kids to respect me.

That's VERY interesting, good

That's VERY interesting, good enough for you, but NEVER his own daughter???? Funny how the expectations can change, when placed on his child.

I really like this way of

I really like this way of looking at it.

"You are a much better person than I am." LOL, sounds like the PERFECT scapegoat.
I just bet, he couldn't handle it for one second, and KNOWS it, but can't tell you that, because then he would have to justify YOUR feelings!

And I would tell him, "You

And I would tell him, "You should strive to be better."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ YEP

Double standards are awesome.

Double standards are awesome. Lol.

Oh I sometimes dream of this

Oh I sometimes dream of this happening But honestly, I don't think DH would put two and two together...he might say "oh poor SD's SD is so mean to her" and not "get" that she was ten times worse to me (I don't think another child could possibly be as horrible as SD is).

My sisters are told (and my children will be told) that they are to NEVER even consider dating someone with kids...it just isn't worth it. You can find true love with someone without baggage!

So, you think he STILL

So, you think he STILL wouldn't see any fault in his daughter, or trace it back to her behavior to you???

I don't blame you, I have told my daughter the exact same thing, "See what mommy has to deal with? Make sure you do better for yourself!!! You will end up carrying and dealing with baggage that isn't yours!"

She might be young, but I am trying to teach her at all costs. My parents and friends warned me, not because my DH isnt a wonderful man, but because of his children and ex being such a problem, I would never have the life I had hoped for...... They were right. I should have listened. I hope yoursisters and children listen to you too!!!

Yup, my dad tried to warn me

Yup, my dad tried to warn me too - not because he didn't like my DH but because he had a feeling being a step-mom to 3 would be really hard. I hate it when he's right.

ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Problem

ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Problem is, they usually are, and we don't listen in the first place lol

I decided to directly ask my

I decided to directly ask my DH this question today. Curiosity got the best of me, and I never like to assume.

I wish I could have taken a pic of his face when I asked. Utter disgust. I then asked, if it's good enough for your wife, why wouldn't it be good enough for your daughter? I have to admit, his answer melted my heart.

He said, "I never ever would have wished this for you. If I could, I would go back in time, never marry that woman and NEVER have had children with her. You are my world, and the fact you deal with it, even though you're so much better than this, makes me the most devoted and full of love man you will ever know. I pledge the rest of my life to you and OUR future because of your love and patience for me"

I can understand his feelings of, "I don't ask for this shit either, but doesn't mean our future has to be controlled by it."

I knew there was a reason I married him despite the kids and psycho ex.