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Does your husband/so call his daughter honey, sweetheart, etc?

Thorn in my heart's picture

Mine does. I never know who he's talking to when she's here. So I just ignore any name that isn't "Thorn" . And they both make little kissy motions/noises to each other when entering a room or just at random times. She's 16.
YUCK :jawdrop:

SMof2Girls's picture

Lol .. "hon" is like a common term where I live. Almost everyone uses it for everyone. We even have a "Cafe Hon" that's nothing short of a landmark!

nothinforya's picture

OMG! I just watched (last night) the Gordon Ramsey makeover of Cafe Hon! Love the pink flamingos!

Journey1982's picture

Ahh... the memories..... I still call everyone Hun.

My SO used to call me and his daughter "baby". I found it creepy and asked him to stop calling me that.

RedWingsFan's picture

This is a hot button topic here so don't be surprised if you get a ton of responses both PRO and AGAINST.

I, am in the against group. DH called SD14 "love" when we first met. Which, to me, is not appropriate for a then 12 yr old. He started calling me "love" in a very sweet manner, very much a relationship style pet name, so I asked him to stop calling SD the same thing or pick something different, as to me it's not cool to call your daughter the same thing you call your sweetheart.

He chose "Babygirl" since he'd called her that before. ICK! I told him I wasn't exactly pleased about his choice as that's a common "girlfriend/lover" term. I'd cringe every time I'd hear it too. "babygirl, can you come here a minute", "babygirl, I'm so proud of your grades" "I love you babygirl". ICK ICK ICK.

So, we were watching Magic Mike at home one night (I bought the DVD!) and Mike calls the woman he's been basically using as a booty call and when she answers the phone, he says in a sexy voice, "Hey babygirl"...I looked at DH and he goes, "ok, ok, I get it now! ICK" And since then, just called SD by her nickname (which is a shortened version of her first name) or "kiddo" - which is WAY more appropriate!

And no, my dad never had cutesy lover-style names for me growing up either. He called me "fidget" because A. I'm short and B. He liked to say it was not that I fidgeted or couldn't sit still, it was because I was an ffffing midget! LOL He's not very politically correct, my dad. But it was his term of endearment for me and he still calls me that from time to time, even though I'm 40 and he's 57.

Thorn in my heart's picture

Ewww I hate when people call me honey sweety etc and I don't know them! Creeeepy.

My father or step-father never called any of us girls by those terms of endearment. I think I would have felt grossed out. Just doesn't seem normal to call your daughter the same pet names as the person you have sex with!

Thorn in my heart's picture

Red I had no idea I was stepping in the crap by asking this. Oh well.

jumanji's picture

I dunno... A lot of it is cultural. My ex-MIL called everyone "lovey". Big deal. I call my daughter babygirl sometimes. LOL My one coworker (female) calls some of us baby and babaygirl. Another calls everyone "love". It doesn't have to be weird or creepy...

Personally, I would rather a SO came up with something more personal to call me than such a generic term.

oldone's picture

My DH calls every woman from age 0-100 "sweetheart". It doesn't bother me at all.

In the deep South many older black women call everyone "baby". Doesn't bother me either.

Thorn in my heart's picture

Well then CULTURALLY I find it creepy and weird to hear this. A daughter should not have the same pet name as does your lover. Cultures be damned, that's creeeepy.

jumanji's picture

Then maybe lover-boy needs to be a bit more original?

In England, many call younger folks (especially woman) lovey. As mentioned, in the South, many older women call everyone baby or babygirl. A lot of older men call everyone sweetheart. It's not meant in a creepy way, and it's on the person who takes it as such to get over it. Really.

christinen's picture

I-m so happy I agree! My DH calls SD5 the same names he calls me and I never know who he's talking to, plus I just think it's creepy to call your kid baby. Yuck!

Thorn in my heart's picture

I will go off on someone calling me those names when they don't know me.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

It used to bother me when I moved here a few years ago, but I got used to it quickly. I am from the North. We don't say that up there Smile

fedup13's picture

Haha SM1994, same here on the "fixin to leave." I was dating this guy once that was a transplant from Illinois, and he text me and asked me when I was leaving, I replied, "I am fixing to leave right now" He responded, "fixing to, huh?" It had never even dawned on me before to think that that was not normal speak to everyone. I call DH honey and he does the same, even when we don't like each other...lol. Oh, and I am a HUGE user of the "bless yo heart" I was raised up hearing my Grandma say it, my Mama say it, and now I use it anytime I feel the need. Listen to me, I just did it again, "raised up" haha. I have a B.A. in English and I have never been able to shake those southern expressions and sayings. It is part of who I am no matter where I live or what I have become. What is so funny is when you can say, "oh darling, bless your sweet heart" and the person on the receiving end is totally clueless to the fact that you just insulted her. Love it.

Drac0's picture

OH MY! This reminds me of this little incident

DW normally calls me "Babe". Unbeknownst to me (But knownst to everyone else), DW also calls SS Babe.

DW: "Babe? Can you come here a minute?"

*Both me and SS show up*

DW: "Oh? Sorry Babe, I was refering to SS."

Me: "You call me AND SS 'Babe'?"

DW: "Yeah."

Me: "Don't you think that is confusing?"

DW: "No...Urm....Actually yeah."

Me: "Tell you what. How about you refer to me as Babe-1 and SS as Babe-2."

SS: "Wait! How come you get to be Babe-1?"

Me: "Fine. You be Babe-1 and I'll be Babe-2. Actually wait, SS is Babe-1, BS shall be Babe-2 and I shall be Babe-3. Deal?"

DW: "Uh..."

Me: "Oh, and from now on I'll refer to BD as Honey-1 and DW as Honey-2. I better write this all down on paper and post it for all to see."

DW stopped calling SS Babe from here on out.

Drac0's picture

Yeah but I really don't care.

Actually I never really thought of myself as a 'Babe'.

"Carbon-based-life-form-that-likes-Beer" would be more appropriate and endearing but it takes too long to say.

Drac0's picture

Homer the ancient Greek author of the Iliad or Homer from "The Simpsons"?

DON'T ANSWER THAT!!!

RedWingsFan's picture

DOH!

Drac0's picture

Thanks...urm...I've only had one beer so I'll repay the compliment by saying I think you are very nice Smile

Drac0's picture

I confess...When I first read your post I was reading a bit too quickly.

Instead of "Thorn" my eyeballs read "Thor"

I thought 'Oh cool! I wanna be called Thor too!'

Yes, I'm a geek. I appologize for that.

RedWingsFan's picture

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM THOR>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Oh he's so hot!

Anon2009's picture

I guess I don't think it is inappropriate for a dad to call his daughter something like "sweetheart" or "honey." As long as it's not "my love," I'm ok with it. My grandfather called my grandma, their daughters and us female grandkids babe, doll, etc.

Thorn in my heart's picture

Yeah I'm sure if you were used to hearing it, it wouldn't bother you. Just never ever heard anyone but my SO say that to his daughter. And yea, I tell him it's creepy and now I just don't answer.

Shaman29's picture

Yes. DH calls both of us sweetie.

He'll say Sweetie....blah blah blah and his kid and I will look at each other in confusion. Neither one of us knows how to respond, because we're never sure if he's addressing his kid or me.

I've told him many times I feel it's creepy when he calls us both Sweetie. One of us is his kid, the other his wife. I told him to call me by my given name if he can't separate the two people.

He still does it but I ignore him when he does.

I think it skeeves out his kid as well.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

I am 37 and my parents still call me "Baby Girl". I also have pet names for everyone in my home including my kiddult stepsons. They all know who I am talking to when I use them, but I will also say I don't call strangers cutesy names.

TASHA1983's picture

My BF and I both call eachother BABI (Baby - we just tweeked the spelling). And we both call my BS9 nicknames that we have for him. (Ant, Pants, etc.) I don't call him Baby or Honey etc.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Yup, he calls me Honey and Sweetie and when SD is there he calls her the same thing so we usually BOTH say WHAT when he calls out cause we have no idea which one of us he is calling.
It's annoying but I'm used to it by now. It used to bother me but I don't care anymore, it's not that serious.

Thorn in my heart's picture

My true pet name is "Ms.Goddess of All that is Good & Evil" but that does take a moment to say.

Blum 3

Just J's picture

When I first started dating DH we both started calling each other Babe. He had never been the call someone "babe" type before, he used to just call his ex by her name or a shortened version of her name. However, he did call his daughter (7 at the time) "babe" sometimes. He used to call her baby when she was little and shortened it to babe. Once when we were all together he said "Hey Babe," meaning me and his daughter answered. I told her, "Sorry SD, I think I'm Babe now." It wasn't a big deal and he didn't call her that anymore. Like I said, he wasn't really the nickname type anyway. But it's weird, when he calls me by my name, I think he's mad at me LOL. He also calls me sweetie and my love but would never call his daughter those things.

I, however, am the nickname type. I call my kids little love, baby, buddy, doll, honey, etc. and my co-workers and I call each other stuff too: babe, darlin, honey. It's just normal to me. I would never do it to adults I don't know and the only time I call customers honey or sweetie is when they are little kids. I do get called honey or sweetheart by customers sometimes, older men who yes, are a little sleazy, but that's just the kind of clientele I deal with and it doesn't bother me.

Andyandme's picture

Yes and I hate it... I've tried to ignore it. He has always called me babe but recently has started to call her babe, his excuse is it just slips out.

Onefootout's picture

Hey I thought princess and prince were for SMs to use with their entitled skids.

Since I only have SS16, no problems with DH using the same baby names.

I will admit I called SS honey a couple of times when I wanted to correct his behavior. I never call him that any other time. "Honeeey, please stop hovering around your dad, he's on the phone." Its kind of a southern thing and I use 'honey' to soften the blow when I'm getting ready to correct a child, even someone else's kid in the grocery store if their about to hurt themselves.

But I don't actually use hon or honey in an affectionate way with kids or strangers, only when I'm correcting behavior.

Tuff Noogies's picture

^^^i do this too! "MSS, hun, puh-leeeeze pick up your towel"

DH is full-fledged Hunny, or My Dear. he also calls me babydoll ^_^

round2's picture

My DH calls SD8 'Snuggle Butt' and everytime I hear him say it, I want to correct him and say that he should call her Fat Butt instead. He even has a weird affectation to his voice when he says it. I feel a little bile in my thorat when that happens.

He does not call us any of the same pet names and we have a term of affection we have always used with each other that we had ingaved in our wedding rings that is unique to us.

LOSTTHEWILTOLIVE's picture

My partner calls his nearly 17 year old daughter:

1. princess
2. love bug
3. sweetness
4. love

(she is none of the above!!!!!!!)

Oh and he calls me by my name !!!!! says everything really }:)

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Thorn, I had the same issue BIG time with SO calling SD "BABY" and "BABE" All the time, sometimes in every sentence.It really upset me , also because he used the same names for me and it reflected that mini wife thing he created with that kid.I came to a point when I couldn't bottle it up anymore and was so over it and told him right into his face that I find it not acceptable he calls his daughter he same names as me!I stopped caring if he would find my concern petty or whatever, it was hurtful to me full stop.He actually took it serious and we went through an awkward time when he called her those names by accident but tried to change it in general.Nowadays he has 99.9% stopped.
I think you have all the right in the world to tell him you feel uncomfortable!Are you his wife or his daughter?

Dimples-gj's picture

Same thing happens here..drives me mental!
I get irked to the point where I'm like geezuz quit calling us by the same damn pet names..it's effd and awkward as shit.
Like really there should be a difference in what you call (in my case) 9 & 11 yr old girls what you do me. Not that effn imaginative?
I have a freakn name..... Argh!

Good luck with this as I know I've given up tot he point of nausea I hate it so much

bi's picture

fdh has never called sd anything but her name, and he calls me "baby". i think sd would eat it up if he did have some pet name for him. she still signs pictures of herself or greeting cards with "your babygirl". he has NEVER called her that or anything close to it. i think she likes to think that he thinks of her that way, but he doesn't.

snowdrop's picture

when we first started dating DH called one of the skids baby, and I put a stop to that. Honey or sweetie is ok with me, he also has nicknames for each of them, but baby, love, etc. Those are my names! I'm not getting called the same damn pet name as a skid. IT's creepy and it's practically communicates that we have similar standings or affection from him. No way, sorry. Call your daughter baby and I'm going to flip shit or leave. I'm the queen here, I'm the one babied and adored, not those damn little skids.

skids are skids.

catgirl's picture

My BF will call SD13 'babe'. He also calls me 'babe' or 'baby' a lot of the time, and while I like that he calls me that, it also irks me that he calls his daughter the same thing. I'd rather he called me something that's just reserved for me. Seeing as SD was in his life before I was, I'll let her have 'babe' and he'll have to come up with something different for me. Blum 3