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Calling your Adult Daughter Baby?

Disillusioned's picture

So DH & I are on the phone with YSD this evening, nice discussion, all is good. Then before we hang up and are saying goodbye he says to YSD "Okay, love you baby" etc..

This just creeps me out. She's 30 years old and I find it weird that he will call me baby, babe, but also his adult daughter the same.

I find it annoying as to me it's just a big phony baloney act DH puts on, thinking he's impressing me/or maybe making me jealous (which he would love) but all it does is gross me out

It especially annoys me as DH took offence a few weeks ago when we were saying goodbye to my nephew, who is around the same age as YSD, and I said "Bye sweetheart, love you"

I've always called my nephews and nieces sweetheart. I call YSD sweetheart. SGS sweetheart. And DH is perfectly fine with it - except when I call my nephew sweetheart

But of course, referring to his adult daughter as "baby" "babe" is perfectly okay in his books

And maybe it is....wondering if anyone else has a DH who refers to his adult daughter as "baby" and if that's perfectly normal in your books

notasm3's picture

The use of "baby" varies very much by culture and region. When I am in New Orleans I am not the least offended when a total stranger like a clerk in a store calls me "baby".

My DH (a Southern boy) calls all females sweetheart. I take no offense. He's not calling them his sweetheart.

It all depends on the context.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Why does your DH want you to be jealous of his daughter? Did I read that right?

What would bother me is using the same pet name for both of you - no matter what the name.

Disillusioned's picture

Thanks ladies...it is sort of weird as DH never used to call YSD that but has started to in the last few years, but maybe I'm just over-reacting Smile

Thanks for the feedback!

Disillusioned's picture

notsurehowtodeal yes you did read that right.....

It's an ego thing...the same thing I guess that makes men tolerate (and secretly feel pride I think) of their mini-wife daughter's behaviors that we read about on this site all too often. It's ego-boosting for some men

If DH thought I felt jealous of any female, including his adult daughter, there is a part of him that would somewhat enjoy it

Ultimately he wants us all to get along but he lately he has dropped the "baby" "babe" "darling" bombs when talking to his adult daughter as if he thinks it's cool, impressive, or as I said he thinks it will get some sort of jealous reaction from me

And I find it interesting when he himself takes offence if i so much as call my nephew "sweetheart" but his calling his daughter baby and babe are of course, not the same thing at all!

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Ok, I get it now. In a wrong way it makes sense!

Hypocrisy is one of my pet peeves. The fact that he gets upset that you call your nephew "sweet heart" while he is calling his daughter "baby" is just wrong. I would call your nephew "sweet heart" as often as possible.

I also differentiate between "baby" and "babe." It is probably just me - but "babe" seems only appropriate in a romantic relationship.

AllySkoo's picture

That cuts both ways though - you could just as easily say "The fact that you get grossed out by him calling his daughter 'baby' while you call your nephew 'sweetheart' is just wrong."

I agree, "baby" and "babe" are different. Although now that I think of it, my BFF (we've been friends since we were 3 years old) and I will call each other "babe" sometimes, but I'd never call her "baby"! Lol Actually, the ONLY people I ever call "baby" are the ones who were literally my babies. I don't even call DH that, he's "babe" too. Wink

neskajy's picture

My Dh has all kinds of pet names for his daughter (she will be 18 soon). I think to parents their kids are always babies

TheBrightSide's picture

You can't be that old because you used "AF" appropriately. (I only learned what that meant last week.....I'm 47).

smomofone's picture

I would hate being called a pet name his daughter gets. I don't call anyone other than SO babe or baby. If he called SD that I would cringe, like dude that's what you call me when we are in bed. Don't call your kid that lol. We reserve other names for the kids. Like honey, sweety and such. He calls SD honey, as do I. I call my nephew and nieces a bunch of pet names but never baby or babe.

sammigirl's picture

Yes, my DH has always called SD55 "Babe". He used to call her "Baby Doll", now it's just "Babe". MY DH is from the South/East; I noticed this is not uncommon. It never bothered me too much; although it did depend on the situation now.

DH likes to play mind games and I don't play mind games. For years this went over my head and I didn't realize DH was betraying me to SD; while I was at work, DH was running to SD's with all of our personal life and lots of gossip about my family, my job, etc.

This is a different story and led to a separation. When we lined it out and I realized I was being played; I set strict boundaries and now pay attention to "Babe". Sometimes their relationship is sick, but it's on them, not me; I've let them know how unimportant their games have become. I ignore them and call DH on his game playing, only if it concerns me.

I do not call anyone "sweet" names, not even my own 99 year young Father. But I contribute it to where and how I grew up. I'm not from the South and have been accused of being cold hearted. }:)

still learning's picture

The old double standard... DH is threatened by you calling your nephew "sweetheart," but it's ok for him to call grown sd "baby."

My first thought is that he must have a small p3n*s; if this is the case then you have my condolences.

Amber Miller's picture

I'm going to go ahead and jump in here. I will admit, my dad calls me baby. I am the oldest and have 1 younger sister; we are both in our 40's. My dad has never babied us, we are both independent and definitely not mini-wives or anything like that. My dad was never a Disney dad and my sister and I had 2 stepmothers and we always treated our step moms with respect. I can't remember what my dad called our SM's as they divorced many years ago. I call my sons baby or sweetheart, my husband calls me baby, I call my husband baby.
I guess we are just a bunch of big babies over here (a little joking!) Wink
It feels normal to us. I guess it's a familial thing. We are Hispanic and Italian but I'm not sure if it's cultural with us or not.
IDK- just my 2 cents worth. Smile

z3girl's picture

Is it maybe just a habit since he does call you Baby? Is it possible it's subconscious, and he doesn't mean anything by it?

I'm glad my DH and I do not use pet names for each other. He used to call me "Sweets" once in a while, but not in many years. I've never used a pet name for him.

We have 3 young children, and I call them all kinds of pet names. My 3 year will imitate me as well. If I say to him, "Good-bye Sweetheart!" when dropping him off at school, he shouts "Good-bye Sweetheart!" back at me. It makes me laugh. I also refer to the baby as "Babes" sometimes, and the 3 year old will call him that as well.

notasm3's picture

In Louisiana you would be considered a hateful racist if you objected to being called "baby" by an elderly black woman.

Disillusioned's picture

yes Allyskoo, except I don't talk with my nephew nearly as much as DH talks with SD. Once in while when I see/talk with my nephew I might call him sweetheart, just like I refer to SD in fact. DH on the other hand, in the last few years, has suddenly started this whole "babe" "baby" "darling" crap with YSD...doesn't call OSD anything like that which is interesting, but to me it just seems phony and put on by DH

Like is he trying to be something that he's not/prove something to me

It stinks

Disillusioned's picture

sammigirl, that whole situation with your DH and his daughter bothers me Sad I feel bad for you. Who needs it!

Disillusioned's picture

I agree maybe it's okay Amber Miller if it was always done, but this is a rather new thing for DH....I think he thinks it's cool, or maybe a new way to get a reaction out of me

Annoying it is!

Wifeypoo's picture

She's forty-one and her daddy still calls her, 'baby'
All the folks around Brownsville say she's crazy
'Cause she walks down town with a suitcase in her hand
Looking for a mysterious dark-haired man

Ha ha this post reminds me of that song.

My DH calls SD34 "sweetheart," same as he does with our DD's. He calls me that as well, but it doesn't bother me because he doesn't sound creepy when he says it. If he called SD baby, it would be creepy to me since its just not a word he uses.