My DH calls me babe too but SD is referred to as sweetie-pie or sweetie for short.

I would be a little bothered if he had the same nicknames for us because I'd feel like he'd be puting me on the same level as his kid or visa versa. It would feel creepy.

Honestly, I believe is shouldn't be a big deal but yeah..it would bother me.

I don't know if what I did worked but when DH and I were dating he never had a pet name for me. So I started calling him babe, hon, dear. He finally started calling me those. He learned by example? lol Try it. Its worth a shot.

It's understandable that it bothers you! Have you mentioned that it sorta bothers you to him? Tell him you know it seems petty, but that you can't seem to get a grip on how much it bothers you. Hopefully he'll be super understanding and try to fix this!

DH used to call SS and I by the same names. I brought it up to him and he thought I was being the evil stepmom until we were out in public and he tried to get my attention and said "hey babe" and both SS and I answered. It weirded him out so he stopped. Why you would call a little boy babe, I have no idea.

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

My DH sometimes calls his grown kids "lover." Seriously. Ick ick ick. He has also used what I thought was a pet name for me when referring to a female friend (nothing untoward going on between them I'm sure). MY DH is sometimes a big leaky bag of emotions so I try to let it go except when it bothers me. Then I simply tell him, "it bothers me when you do x." It works really well for us.

Dh calls me babe and every once in awhile he calls Creature babe. I think it is a slip so I don't say anything, but it does bug me. Plus I recently found out that Wingnut's father refers to everyone as "babe" and that bugs me.

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

I think you should tell him if it really bothers you. We stepmoms are good at not saying things just to prevent sounding like we have a problem with DH's kids but hey, it is what it is. at least that's what my new therapist says. yes, i had to get a therapist just to deal with the stepparenting nightmare.

I think the whole pet name thing with kids is kind of creepy, anyway, especially if the names are names that you'd typically use with a girlfriend/wife. My dh calls us both negra or preciosa interchangably, and it has always bothered me, but I feel like an evil stepmother if i say anything. I wonder if I am just jealous at the intensity of their connection -- dh is always hugging and kissing her, she's always jumping into our bed (his side). All that stuff bugs me a lot, but so far I've generally kept quiet.

I don't know -- my dad used to drop a "y" at the end of my name, and that was good enough for me.

My DH used to do this exact same thing, call us both babe. I told him how I felt and he stopped.

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

My bf calls me babe and his stepdaughter "his baby girl" and I guess it doesn't bother me but if he called us both the same it would. I think the problem lies in that these men are not distinguishing their children as just that....children. My stepdaughter is all over our personal adult business...finances, what I spend on groceries, ect.... and I totally disagree with her being involved in adult matters that do not concern her. She has actually looked at a reciept that was in my car and asked me what this was for and why I spent that money. It is all in how one looks at their children and if they raise them as friends or as their child. JMO

My Fiance does the same thing. He calls SD7 Hon as well as me. And it drives me nuts!!!! He doesnt see it from my side either! We have argued about this many times and it never changes.

OK, one more thing I can add to my list of being thankful for - DH never refers to SD's by any pet names. I would be totally creeped out if he called his one of the SD's babe because that's what he calls me all the time.

I've been paying attention to my own use of pet names (and it's not pretty). I tend to call DH and my BD AND the dogs "babe" or "sweetie." I guess I use these as generic "I love you" terms. But there are other pet names for DH, BD and yes, the dogs, that are theirs alone. "Doofus" is for one of the dogs but I don't call DH that, at least not endearingly! hahaha

I quit a dentist once because his assistant drove me crazy the same way. Ok winehead we're going to do this now. winehead, how are you doing? Now, winehead, spit. That was a good spit, winehead. No shit, I ran screaming out of there every time so I know where you're coming from. My Mom, now 93, still calls me Babe and it's adorable. So for me it's kinda cute.

Hi all, I'm new to the forum and I'm glad to have found it. I'm in a situation that feels very unhealthy for me, and I would love feedback from men and women alike. I'm a separated woman (been 3 years, hoping for divorce this year), childless, living with my partner (he's divorced, 2 kids). I saw the problem coming a year ago, right after my partner told me he has an ex and two children...he told me this because she rekindled contact after a few years of absolute silence/unwillingess to communicate (on his side as well as hers). I love children, and have always only known the patchwork family lifestyle. I was excited for him with regards to possible contact to the kids, but reserved concerning her new interest in him. He explained to me that she re-married soon after their divorce was finalized, so I shouldn't worry. Then I opened my mouth and made a prediction: In one year, she will no longer be with her husband, and six months, at the latest, following their split, she will tell you she wants you back.

Well, folks, it's all happened. He left her, though she had been planning to break away. With this ex2 gone, room was clear for my partner to see the children (she blamed the visitation issue on ex2). For everyone's sake, I consented to spending one Christmas day (here in Germany, there are 3) at her place. The kids are wonderful, and we three get along great! What bothered me was some physical contact between my partner and the ex. I talked to him about that, and he said he would lay off. Okay. We were over again 2 weeks later. I told him it was difficult for me, especially since she keeps bringing up the past with him, and I watch them stroll down memory lane together. I warned him that she would also want to come over for his birthday in January (she did,...and she did). I wanted to not be there, but I wanted him to be able to see his kids, and I didn't want any kind of scene. While here, she pulled the same thing...

Again, over at her place (I go because he wants me to, and I want to be able to connect with the kids, too, because this is a serious relationship), I watched...and felt like the 5th wheel...the two adults and the two kids in one corner of the room, and I, a spectator, in another. Again, physical contact...and again, she brought up the past. I had another talk with him, and I do trust him...just not her.

They were on the phone yesterday to clear up child support issues (economic crises not sparing my partner, either), and the kids' first overnighter at our place when, following a few minutes of chit chat, she told him that the two of them should be married. Also, his daughter left a message asking him to go over on Valentine's Day because she has a surprise for him.

I don't hate his ex; I simply have never entertained the thought of becoming friends with her, and everything I predicted she would do and say has come to pass. My partner is torn, and "can't" snub her comments or actions because he wants to see his kids, and I totally understand that. But what do I do? I have never, nor will I ever, fight for a man, especially not one who has children - but I didn't wreck their home, nor did I ruin her second marriage. If it seems I've put less heart into this, it's not true...I love and respect him (our relationship is a happy one, excepting THIS), his ex and the children, AND (not BUT) I love and respect myself. I never wanted to play games, but it appears we are already part of hers. What is an appropriate action, or reaction to this series of events?

Erica.

I have had that very same conversation! It drives me absolutely crazy! I have talked to my boyfriend about it and he understands but he still slips up. I try not to let it get to me too much but its still a pet peeve of mine as well!