When you can't prove what you know
I could really use some help. I am married to my husband for 6 months now, together 14 months, known each other/ been good friends for going on 6 years. I have a 5 yr old SS. His mother is the worst kind of manipulator/ crazy. She is diagnosed Bipolar, and unmedicated/treated, in May we had to file for custody when my SS witnessed an assault in his mother's home. She was on drugs, my SS talked about seeing her do hallucinogenic mushrooms, cocaine, weed, (Though my opinion on weed is IDC it makes her calmer.) Anyways, she seemed to really clean up after custody was filed with the courts, the sores on her face disappeared, she decided to be nice to me and stop telling her son I beat him as an infant (SERIOUSLY??), started school, and got a job. It wasn't long before my SS was a whole different and happier child. He used to be creul to me. Last week the judge signed our agreement. We decided to not go for sole and agreed to 50/50 joint custody. Too bad in the last few weeks her sores have returned and my SS has been a terror once again. And, now has picked up self-harm type behaviors for example biting himself and screaming he hates himself, when he was told he had to say Thank you to get his candy. But, now the custody is set in stone, and no matter how much I know in my gut she is back on drugs, the worker I talked to at DHS said I don't have enough to get her drug tested. What do I do? This BM is crazy!!!! And, if it wasn't bad enough my SS had to deal with her unstable mental/emotional states, he is now hurting himself. What do I do?? I do have an appt set up for a therapist, but won't be seen until mid-January. What do I do? It tears me apart to give him back every week knowing what he is going home to.
Well, I don't consider him a
Well, I don't consider him a "problem child" but, he does have a problem. There is a licensed therapist at his school. He finally got off the waitlist and they will be seeing him mid-January, I did let the therapist know about my concerns... I guess it's just the waiting that kills me, because until we know, until we have enought for children's protective services he is still going into that environment every week. Is there anything you think I could be doing at my home, besides love and affection that could make it better for him when he is at his Mom's?
Sores on face? I'd add Meth
Sores on face? I'd add Meth to the list. Its cheap, easily available and effects the skin and teeth pretty quick.
This is really a tearjerked isn't it? Can you afford a private detective or a friend who can tail her, rent a car and your husband do it, get pictures of her buying dope on the street?
I'm sure you've put the counselor on notice as to your suspicions and eventually he'll be able testify as to what he boy told him.
Meanwhile take the kid in for a complete drug screening. I'm betting he's at a very minimum getting some dope of some sort by accident if not deliberately. At worst you can get the kid into foster care and with luck they'll believe its not from your house because, after all, you guys ordered the drug screen in the first place.
If drugs are detected it should be enough to pull him out of her home immediately and once its proven where the stuff came from he should be out permanently. At that point I would think the police would have enough to search her home for child endangerment.
I can't affored a PI at the
I can't affored a PI at the moment. I did take my SS to the Dr asking to have him drug tested and told him about my concerns, he said he could only do a urine test and unless he had inhaled or ingested the drug himself within the last 48 hours the chances of it coming up positive were slim to none, so he did not do the test for me.
Thanks for the idea of having someone tail her. I do have a few friends I could ask and think would do that for me way cheaper than a PI. It's just so frustrating when you know and you can't prove it! He didn't say specifically those drug names. It very well could be meth. I just know her old drugs of choice. My SS said things like "Mommy has mushrooms I can't eat" I asked him "Why would you want to you hate mushrooms" his reply was awful "Because these mushroom are poison until I am 18 and after Mommy eats them she is weird and laughs and laughs and laughs. His clothes have come home WREAKING like pot. Not, that I am anti-pot but so much HE wreaks of it? That is an extreme.. But, even with these things the worker says not enough. I just feel so hopeless. THank you for the ideas/thoughts though! I just joined this sight. Because, I have such a hard time with my friends having the slightest understanding since they are all BM's and BF's.