Skids obssessing over Bio parents' interests?
Does anyone else notice their skids obssessing over one little thing because it's something that their daddy (or mommy) likes?
My SD is CRAZY about Elvis. My DH likes him a normal amount. We're both into oldies, among other things, but DH once mentioned to SD that he likes Elvis's music and SD went nuts with it! She asks for Elvis CDs for her birthday and Christmas all the time now and was showing me a bunch of her fav videos of him on Youtube yesterday. She almost seems to sound braggy when she says he's her favourite, (like it makes her more interesting as a person) and she always makes sure to mention that he's her dad's favourite too (he's not, but it's basically the only thing she knows about DH's interests).
It's like how she repeats the same question to the same people over and over because it's the only thing she knows about them, and therefore the only thing she can think of to talk to them about. While it's possible that she's just REALLY into Elvis, I can't help but feel that she's SO into him because she thinks it's something her dad and her have in common. I'm not complaining about it, as at least it's not something that is bad for her to be into, but it seems so weird for a kid her age.
Anyone else have a similar experience?
How old is she? Sounds a bit
How old is she? Sounds a bit wierd, but she is obviously trying to connect with her dad on some level. Not a big deal really.
She's 13. I know it's not a
She's 13. I know it's not a big deal, and I'm not complaining that she is trying to connect with him. It's definitely normal to like things your parents like, but it's the constant reminders and talking about it - like she's trying so hard to be similar to him but then needs to make sure she points it out to everyone all the time. She does other things to make herself seem more interesting, like pretending to be afraid of clowns just to seem more quirky and not-of-the-norm. It just doesn't feel genuine and comes off a little desperate.
I thought you were going to
I thought you were going to say she was a little kid. Sounds normal for a little kid. Sounds like desperation in a 13 year old.
I don't think it's weird to
I don't think it's weird to like things their dad likes. I do find it strange that my skids eat the way their BM eats - meaning very picky. They won't eat egg yolks and never have from toddler-hood because BM won't eat egg yolks. A whole bunch of other things that BM does that won't fit in this response box - and has obviously brainwashed them into not liking or liking certain things based on her preferences. Why not let them develop their own tastes/likes/dislikes? As for liking a hobby or interest because they made the choice to do so, that's cool, if they're coerced into liking it because the bioparent believes it's 'better', it's strange to me.
Ok, so I'm not the only one
Ok, so I'm not the only one who notices that they need to point certain things like this out all the time. What do you think they are trying to accomplish? I can tell in my SD's case that it's very deliberate. If she just liked something, she would listen to it or watch videos without talking about it. I'm sure there are lots of things she likes that she doesn't talk about. It's the making a point of talking about it and saying that DH likes it too - as if she's telling me something that I don't already know. It's just weird.
She sounds very insecure.
She sounds very insecure.
Yeah, SD14 loves anything to
Yeah, SD14 loves anything to do with Linkn Park because her mom is obsessed with them. I like the band, myself, but she takes it to another level. Almost every single item of clothing has the name on it, or it's in their "style".
My SD12 does stuff like that
My SD12 does stuff like that too.
I try to think positively about it though. My dad used to draw so everytime I would draw something , he was the only person I wanted to show. It was my desperate cry for attention because he was always either at a bar or some place getting drunk. He never really had time for me. So in a way , I try to forgive her because she only has 4 days a month with her dad so she probably tries so hard just to feel that bond.
But usually , I get more annoyed and feel like the friggin devil.
My husband's a plumber , so this weekend she wanted to put together a p-trap, but kept playing stupid like she couldn't remember how to screw two pieces together. I had to endure that crap for almost 2 hours. Thank goodness for alcohol.
My SS8 does this with BM. He
My SS8 does this with BM. He is obsessed with vampires, Batman, roller coasters, Michael Myers, and a crap load of other things because his mother loooooves these things. The kicker? He's afraid of just about everything he says he "loves". Scary movies? Terrified. Roller coasters? Won't get on them, not even the kiddie kind. All we ever hear is "I love __________ because my mommy loves it." He's young, so I can understand to a point. I just hope he stops suckling her teat & develops his own identity soon.
something sort of similar
something sort of similar here. sd20 claims to be just like fdh. if he was anything like her, i would not be with him. when she was on my fb, if i posted something he would say (he's always trying to be witty) she would be all over it claiming that she has the EXACT same sense of humor and he is where she gets it from and she is JUST like him. way overboard with the comparisons, like she's trying to convince me and anyone who is reading it that she is his clone. it's creepy and weird. i'm unlike my parents in every way imaginable (but they are trash, so that's not saying much). i don't think i'm just like anyone else. i have similar personality traits to a couple of aunts, but there is plenty about us that is different, too. i don't understand the need to have an identical personality to someone else. i think there are way bigger issues driving that. at least out of my sd.
I remember being that way at
I remember being that way at age 11 before moving out of state with my mother & step dad. It's not that I didn't like my dads girlfriend, I felt like I needed her help to find a connection with my dad & I. He didn't do much to try & connect with me so I thought that I had to connect with him. Your SD could just be seeking your help if this is the case for her cause she knows that he connects with you.
I would not put to much into the Elvis thing but maybe sit back & watch them two interact. Maybe you can find the answer just by listening to them & observing their relationships with one another.