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My son openly hating stepkids

Jellybean76@hotmail.ca's picture

Ok...so I am told this is my fault too.

My son gets very annoyed when the step kids show up. To the point he is pushing them down and screaming at them.

I am sure their dad will put on his "super" daddy cape and come to the rescue! Yeah!

Who's going to come to my rescue?

Orange County Ca's picture

So your child son get annoyed to the point of violence when your spouses kids show up.

You're the adult put an end to it. If necessary he stays in his bedroom the whole visit until he gets the point.

Anon2009's picture

If he's yelling at and pushing them, he needs to be separated from them until he calms down. Because if the skids got injured as a result, you could have legal problems on your hands. I do not say this to attack you but to help you decide how to best deal with this so that doesn't happen.

How do you feel about how your son feels about the skids?

StickAFork's picture

Why does someone need to come to YOUR rescue?

You need to parent and lock your kid's shit DOWN. He's bahaving terribly, and needs consequences.

needinginwardpeace's picture

Deal with the behaviour ASAP. Not acceptable. Inappropriate and not conducive to a good family life. Just my 2 cents, since you asked

Disneyfan's picture

You better hope BM doesn't pull out her super mom cape.

If those were my boys, I'd tell them to beat the heck out of your son the next time he put his hands on one of them.

beccaboo912's picture

JellyBean96, could you please be more specific? It is difficult to identify what exactly is going on in this situation.

Jellybean76@hotmail.ca's picture

I guess the point to my post was about my son reacting to the favoritism he sees when the other kids show up. Stepdad only puts on DADDY CAPE when his bio kids come. It gets tiring. My kids are with us full time and he puts down the iron fist when they act up and ignores his own childrens misbehaviors.
My stepdaughter has scratched and hit my son for years, him pushing her down was partially him being on a medication that made him aggressive but him also getting annoyed by their annoying behaviors. She will sit in the car and sing BINGO at the top of her lungs over and over when we are in small quarters and it is annoying for him. In anycase my real point was not about him, but a man that sees fault on only my kids while his run wild, with no manners and no consequences because he says he never raised them, their mom did, so they do not get taught because they are not with us enough and he just blames their mom.

Gabriels Mom's picture

Do your kids see their Bio dad? Can you make the skid weekend the weekend they go to their dads? Physical violence is not okay from either side. I don't like disciplining someone else's kid but if that kid is hurting my kid I will.

SS, 8 at the time, pushed DS who was maybe a 18 months old, off the couch. DS was tried to climb into SS's lap while SS was playing a video game. He got angry and shoved DS. Luckily, I wasn't the only one who saw it. DH saw it and went off about it. It was so bad I had to take over and calm him down because I thought he was going a little overboard. SS was in tears. DH said it wasn't just that SS had pushed DS it was the look on his face when he did it. Like his intention was to hurt DS and that wasn't acceptable to him.

If you see it, do something about it. Even if it's just sending the brat to his/her room. I'm not sure how to handle it if you don't see it and there's no evidence.

Jellybean76@hotmail.ca's picture

Oh my god the wife left my computer open to this obviously for me to find. Head games abound.

The same step son that hates and hits his older brother or his mom or anyone who tells him no. The same step son who gets his way in the house always by screaming at everyone all the time and basically just pushes everything further and further behavior wise until everyone gives in. Who never openly started screaming aloud how he hates him mom, older natural brother, step brother/sister , mom, and baby brother until he saw over and over mom in one of her "my kids your kids" rants say in front of superdads kids how much she hates them. I have a problem those sorts of negative destructive behaviors and mom says too bad I have a disorder. Too bad he has a disorder.

Wish I had a disorder. Then I could walk around flipping on everyone and berating them every time I disagreed with them like mom (I have Emotional Regulation Disorder) or screaming at everyone all day like the 9 year old (I have ADD) pushing everyone till they give in. Even his older brother. Then look at them if they don't like it and say too bad I have a disorder. I don't need to try to do better you just need to deal with it. Absorb it all and shut up. Cause if you don't then your not supportive and your an asshole. If you can't deal with everything day in and day out and put up with any negative way you are treated then your just a wuss. I have to be superdad. And I know i will fail. I have to withstand everything that can be thrown at me forever without a chink in my Armour. Which doesn't matter if I do anyway because them I will be resented for any time I am right.

I make no excuses for my natural kids problem behaviors. I simply point out that their mom did a poor job raising them. She moved away so I couldn't get much time with them because shes a control freak and a petty person so I don't have the time to guide them as they need. I have trouble changing my kids behaviors in 2 overnights a month.

Its really easy to go on the internet tell one side of the story and get all the support in the world to justify negative behaviors. Its way easier than doing positive ones.

All these kids hug me at night and flip like a switch when mom walks in the door. When you challenge the 2 step boys in a positive way they rise to the challenge and their behavior. They are smart kids that deserve better than me and the wife are failing to give them. ADD or not they can make good decisions and behave overall they just cant stop vibrating and bouncing.

I don't parent all of our children the same. I look at an individual and try to decide what they are capable of and what will get them farther in life. If I can do my job my step children should be much finer members of society than my own. I will never be able to parent my own previous children as they need. However when children in this house have the skills to stop negative behaviors I don't allow a free pass based on what that other one does scenario. If Tommy hits Billy over donuts it is not OK for Bob to hit Sue and say hey he did it why shouldn't I. Even if I failed to stop Tommy I will stop Bob if I can. But hey Bob wont be in trouble because as soon as I try to stop him he cites Tommy and mom steps in to fight "my kids your kids" and Bob skips away and does it again cause were not watching were too busy fighting. Why should Bob be stopped if the other one wasn't? Because he has proven in the past that he is capable of better if we do our job. I don't find the step kids behaviors bother me to the point of frustration. I find the everyone is expected to be held to the standard that the worst one in the group can achieve to be a terrible way to parent and I find the fighting instead of parenting approach to be the biggest waste of young potential. If we use the measure of time invested as a litmus its like we have decided that getting our way is more important than improving our children.

Sincerly,
Superdad

A superheroes only retirement is death!