Thanks for your response - it made me smile! I do see that tends to be the trend on this site - the DH needing to grow a pair! And when it comes to anything or anyone else, he def. has a brass pair...but not with his children. I really think he is so damn preoccupied with trying to forever make it up to them b/c he and BM are divorced and she is a less than mediocre parent, that he doesn't see their behavior as wrong. He is a super dad to all 3 of the children and even took on a brand new full time job as soon as he retired from his other one to ensure that his children would be very well provided for. The skids have everything, and i mean everything that they ask for. Both of these boys have 47inch flat screen tv's mounted on their bedroom walls! I was happy to have some time to watch the common living room tv when I was growing up! LOL I mean the list of material items that he has provided for them is unreal - but he does this b/c he knows that their BM never would. She has quite the alcohol problem and only worries about herself. She uses the insane amount of CS that she gets from DH every month on herself. She refuses to provide for the kids clothing, shoes, etc... So instead of purchasing things here and there for the boys, DH tends to purchase items that I don't feel any adolescent / teen child needs (or deserves) very frequently. But this is where I have started to learn to disengage b/c #1 It's not my money & #2 If DH wants to raise the skids to grow up and be ungrateful and with a sense of entitlement - that's his problem. As long as our BS also receives the equal amount that his half brothers do. And DH treats all 3 equally. On the flip side though - our bs will grow up with a mother who cares about him and will teach him the value of a dollar unlike the skids. So in that right our bs is already much farther ahead.

It's nice to hear that someone else understands where I'm coming from! BF and I have had the conversation many times about my expectations on raising our bs. However, when I say anything to him in regards to the lack of discipline he shows the skids it usually results in a disagreement. BF believes that b/c his kids are good kids - not into drugs & for the most part respectful of adults - that I am overreacting to their actions. I disagree! I don't feel that I should have to tell an 11 yr. old to stop doing something that he shouldn't be doing (putting his bare feet all over my 8 month old's toys- which go directly in his mouth) more than 1 time. I mean I am literally telling ss11 this at least 1 time per week during his stay with us. And if I pull BF aside to talk over the issue - he gets pissy with me and says that he already heard the original conversation so there is no need to keep rehashing it! WTF! So I of course have a smart ass comeback and tell him to teach his son some manners! These type of arguments tend to leave BF and I mad at eachother and not speaking for a day or so. It's ridiculous. I don't know how he expects me to live in this home which he purchased by himself but still considers "ours" and have a vote on everything else, except disciplining the skids. So I find myself not giving a shit and when ss11 puts his grimy feet on the baby toys, I tend to get really smart with him about it & use a less than friendly tone when telling him not to do it again. It becomes a vicious little cycle that has me counting down the days/hours/minutes/seconds to when the skids get to return to bm! And it sucks b/c if it wasn't for ss11 being such a brat and bf being totally braindead when it comes to discipline - family life here would be rather nice!

My thoughts exactly!

I couldn't agree more with you! It's a mix of both guilt and Disney! SS11 still sleeps in bed with BM! That is crazy! And he often tries to get BF to let him sleep on our brand new couches in the living room instead of sleeping in his bedroom that is complete with brand new bedroom set, a brand new oversized recliner, brand new 47 inch flat screen wall mounted tv, and x-box gaming system! Spoiled brat! And BF will usually cave at least 1 day that ss11 is staying with us and he gets to park his overweight butt in the living room! It drives me crazy! I on the otherhand am strict with the skids when BF is away for work and tell him either sleep in your room or when the baby outgrows his room (the smallest of the kids bedrooms) he will be taking it for himself and ss11 can have the small room! LOL SS11 gets so mad! And even though it's childish - i get a nice chuckle out of it! }:)