Dishwasher?! Really?!
When DH and BM divorced (over a year ago) he told her that he would buy her a new dishwasher to get her to sign the F-ing papers... they were separated for almost a year before the divorce, and she had one excuse after another to agree to sign.
So, she said: I want a new dishwasher because ours stopped working. He told her that he'd pay for one up to $600. She signed.
Fast forward to now... over a year later. She has demanded that he pay for the dishwasher she picked out this morning.
FUCK that. There was NO mention of a dishwasher in their agreement. It was something he said at the time. She never pursued it. She signed the papers.
He's pulling the: "Well... I want to keep my word, blah, blah, blah."
I could buy a lot of shit with $600 - and it wouldn't be a dishwasher for that lying, cheating, slut ex-wife of his.
What would you ladies think? Should he keep his "word" or tell her to go F-herself? I mean... I KNOW he's gonna do it, so its not like it matters. Just wondering how you would feel.
Oh HELL NO! Words can go to
Oh HELL NO! Words can go to Hell after the ink is dry on the divorce papers. Let me tell you, DH promised BM that he'd pay her car insurance for an entire year after they split. And he DID do that, plus an extra 2 months afterwards. The MINUTE he called her and told her he was removing her from his insurance policy she pitched a fit and demanded that he continue paying for her car insurance INDEFINITELY because he PROMISED her he'd pay it.
Yeah, he did keep his word as he's a man of his word (which is why he'll likely end up paying for 1/2 of SD's D.C. trip too, $700), but she wanted him to CONTINUE paying for the rest of her life???? Then she pulled "but it's written in the divorce that you're responsible for that" and he said "show me where that's written ANYWHERE. I promised you I'd help you with that for the first year after we split. It's been 14 months, so I went above and beyond helping you. We're divorced, I'm done paying for anything for you."
Why does he really care what his word means to her anyway???? He has no obligations to her any longer. That's what divorce decrees mean!
It depends, if he had to
It depends, if he had to promise to get her to sign and she's been a good exe and not played any games, probably. If she's been a nasty hoe and caused trouble, I'd tell her to go pound sand up her azz. If she complains about him not keeping his word, he could remind her that she made a vow when they married that she broke--thereby showing him promises were made to be broken.
^^^^Yup - if she's a lying
^^^^Yup - if she's a lying cheater, she obviously doesn't honor her promises/vows - why should he after the fact?
She's absolutely horrible!
She's absolutely horrible! She has turned his daughters against him... plays games. Cheated on him. She's a horrible excuse for a person.
In some ways, I agree with
In some ways, I agree with you. I appreciate the fact that he's a man of his word. It's one of the reasons that I love him.
At the same time... her lying and cheating HAS affected our marriage. She played some real mind games on him that have affected his confidence. I have to work to build him back up every single day. She has created HUGE drama for me in my life - including making up lies, sending me "anonymous emails", etc. Additionally, she has told his daughters horrible things about us and encourages them & rewards them (openly admits this in emails) to not come visit us. Ie: If they skip visiting their dad, she will take them shopping, etc.
Another point - she
Another point - she BLACKMAILED him into agreeing to buying something for her just so he could get a divorce? Yeah, I'm not sure why he'd be so concerned about how he looks in her eyes anyway.
^^^NICE! Keep the natives at
^^^NICE! Keep the natives at bay
Send her a pair of dish
Send her a pair of dish washing gloves and call it even. She can be the dish washer.
^^^I LIKE
^^^I LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If he pays child support...
If he pays child support... put a sign around one of the kids neck that says "dishwasher, bought and paid for".
Sigh. It's ok for the DH to
Sigh.
It's ok for the DH to be a liar, but NOT the XW.
He told her he'd buy it, and not only that, used that promise as a manipulation tool to get what he wanted from her.
If he's even remotely a decent man, he will buy the dishwasher. Hopefully, his integrity is worth more than $600.
There was NO mention of a
There was NO mention of a dishwasher in their agreement. It was something he said at the time. She never pursued it. She signed the papers.
________________________________________________________________________________________
If she truly wanted him to pay for this, she would've been sure to have it put in the divorce decree.
She may have simply trusted
She may have simply trusted him.
My DH did that... BM "agreed" to give him his stuff. They did the final house stuff, sold it, whatever... DH signed the agreement without it detailing everything of his she'd agreed to give him.
Guess who didn't keep her word? BM. Shocker, I know. DH trusted her... and he shouldn't have. HER character lacks.
WTF was she going to do with power tools and railroad train setups anyway?? That's right, she SOLD them...even had the balls to tell DH when the garage sale was so he could come and buy the stuff that was his.
If I told that story as an independent post on here, I'm 110% confident that posters would have gone on and on about what a bitch she was for doing that, with some "DH was dumb" sprinkled in for good measure.
The fact is...BM and DH had an agreement. She didn't honor it, which makes HER the shitty person she is.
OP, your DH sounds like a good man who wants to keep his word. That makes him a GOOD MAN, and not one of these lying, selfish assholes. Commend him for it.
Then I guess integrity does,
Then I guess integrity does, in fact, have a price tag for you.
Get over yourself. And don't
Get over yourself. And don't make less than jaded threats at me...
YOU made the comment that the bank account would be NEGATIVE $600. Not sure where the "negative" comes from, but whatevs. Clearly, there is a PRICE for being decent in YOUR mind...by YOUR words.
The man made a promise. He is capable of making good on that promise, and wants to do so. OP (and a bunch of posters) think DH should screw with BM and "forget" his promise because... well, because he isn't doing it to them. If he were to do it to a poster on here, y'all be up in arms about what a loser DH he was for not keeping his word.
PS: I don't give a shit if you're restless. Go get laid. It helps.
*You're* YOU addressed ME.
*You're*
YOU addressed ME. YOU commented in response to MY comment.
Please don't threaten me again. It's not becoming a lady.
Oh, wait... nevermind.
I agree. It's just SO hard to
I agree. It's just SO hard to see checks for $1000 a month go toward HER debt (in her name only - that he took on), $2500 for child support, and $1000 a month for alimony!!!!! Plus, he's writing a check for $600 to make her kitchen cleanup more convenient.
Yes, he's a man of his word... which is more than she will ever be. But, ugh. Still makes me sick.
Sometimes doing the right
Sometimes doing the right thing sucks.
If he's paying her $3500 a month, he makes a decent living, so hopefully $600 doesn't hurt too much.
He owes her nothing unless
He owes her nothing unless it's in the written agreement. Period. Especially TWO years down the road.
^^^That's right! If she
^^^That's right! If she wanted him to "honor his promise" to her post-divorce, she should've insisted on it being put in writing
"He owes her nothing unless
"He owes her nothing unless it's in the written agreement. Period. Especially TWO years down the road."
^ This.
I could totally see our
I could totally see our horsefaced BM doing it - and up to two months ago my DH would have felt pressured to do it.
My DH is extremely supportive
My DH is extremely supportive and respectful and always keeps his word.
My view on this is...
BM is just as manipulative as the DH in this case for even saying "I will sign it IF you buy me a dishwasher". Seriously, if DH told me this happened at the signing of the divorce, I would not have believed that either one of them were serious with this statement. I would think if someone was seriously wanting something like that, they would have put it in writing.
I understand he wants to keep his word. I just can't believe BM is actually expecting this out of him. I would have a hard time with this too... I don't think I would "forbid him" from keeping his word, but it would be hard to swallow.
That's just it. He sent her
That's just it. He sent her the check today. It's not that I FORBID it. It's not going to make us go broke. It's just that the outlay of money we're already giving her... plus the fact that she's a raging bitch who refuses him visitation/manipulates everyone/tries to hurt him every chance she can get... is now asking him for a kitchen appliance.
Oh - and it gets better! She spent the past hour texting him from Home Depot because she didn't know which features she should get... and all the ones she "liked" were more than $600. He barely responded to her. But FUCK!
^^^THIS!!!^^^ and give him a
^^^THIS!!!^^^
and give him a big hug.
I am all for people keeping
I am all for people keeping their word but it's been over a year and he is now married to someone else.
She was obviously playing games with him and he got fed up and said what he had to say to get his divorce.
If she is anything like our BM (cheating, lying, psychotic bitch), I wouldn't buy her an S.O.S. pad, I'd tell her to use the same dishwasher she's been using the last year.
He would actually be doing her a favor by NOT buying the dishwasher, thus teaching her to get in in writing the next time she fucks with somebody's life and then uses that to get something out of them.
Eat a Ford. Giggle... I have
Eat a Ford. Giggle...
I have no interest in being with a man who cannot keep his word. Been there, done that, not interested in doing that again. I've learned my lesson.
LOVE the "eat a Ford" comment
LOVE the "eat a Ford" comment
I am proud of him. Thanks for
I am proud of him. Thanks for helping me see that... and let go of some of the resentment.
You helped me see that this isn't about HER, it's about the man he is... and the person I am spending the rest of my life with. I am pretty lucky.
You gals are great.
Good job, Step. Your man is a
Good job, Step. Your man is a keeper. She lost out, and you won the lottery. Sounds like he found himself a good lady, too.
It's so refreshing to hear of a married couple who show each other respect!
I think he should pay for it,
I think he should pay for it, sorry to say, he promised it knowing that BM was manipulative and a cheater whatever else, so nothing has changed- she is probably still just like that, so I don't get why he wouldn't hold his promise now.
My ex hb gave me a terrible time a while ago when he promised things , committed to dates for the kids and simply broke many of his promises because he felt like it.No matter that he even emailed me and I had it all in writing- he just lied and denied to a point we called him Pinoccio!!It was horrible,especially since he spoiled any of our plans by "forgetting" to pick up the children or similar stuff.
A promise is a promise, he should have thought about it when he gave it to his ex , nasty or not.
i would box his ass up in the
i would box his ass up in the dishwasher and send him to her as well. no returns.
Of course YOU would. Some
Of course YOU would.
Some people value men with character.
whatever you say saf. you
whatever you say saf. you obviously know me so much better than i know myself. and you're always right. ALWAYS. no need to thank me for knowing that, either.
hehe! i don't know whether
hehe! i don't know whether it's sad or funny that she actually thinks i care what she thinks! doesn't really matter, narcissists NEVER get it that you don't care. that's ok. she can carry on with her silly little fantasy where she reigns supreme.
She signed without a new
She signed without a new dishwasher. A perfect time for a lesson on verbal Vs documented agreements.
I have been burned trusting what someone says. My XW and I agreed to split the legal costs of our divorce and use a single lawyer. She then engaged a separate lawyer who fired her as a client when I provided proof of her academic dishonesty. Her lawyer was an Adjunt professor at the LawSchool for the university she got her BSN from. When she violated our agreement to use a single attorney I brought notarised copies of the proof of her academic fraud against the university and her attorney informed her that because he was her attorney he could not have her degree revoked but neither could he continue to represent her. He then informed her that I could take my evidence to the university and she would in all likelihood lose her degree.
So, she went back to our agreement. In our divorce we sold some property the proceeds of which were held in escro by our attorney. Our verbal agreement was that we would split the legal fees. She picked up her half of the proceeds of the sale of property but did not pay her half of the attorneys fees. So, when I arrived to pick up my half of the proceeds the attorney gave me the balance less his legal fees for our divorce. There was not much I could do about it other than to sue her in civil court but without a written agreement on splitting the payment of legal fees the odds were not great that I would get anything out of my XW.
So, IMHO DH should ignore BM or.... if he chooses to go the dishwasher route, go pick up a low cost dishwasher and drop it at BM's front door. The agreement was not for the dishwasher of her choice. It was for a dishwasher. He needs to do what is in his best interestes. Screw BM. See how she likes a single switch cheap dishwasher. That way she will have a lesson any time she does dishes.