BM won't pick up SD on her day
Forums:
I just wanted to vent a little bit because today SD is supposed to go back to BM’s house (we have her every other week & Thursday is the switch day) but plans apparently have changed. BM decided to go to the beach and doesn’t want to come get SD so we are stuck with her. As a SM, I pretty much live for the days SD goes back to BM’s (every other Thursday in my case). I make plans. I look forward to it. Now DH tells me SD is not going home and I am just so irritated. How do you all handle it when these things happen?
Wow that sucks. I hate when
Wow that sucks. I hate when BM dictates "our time" with and without SS. Like last night we were supposed to get SS at 5pm, well we call at 4 and she says it won't be for another"couple hours". When 7:20 rolled around and still no call, we called and asked if plans had changed? She said it would be another little bit so we just said, "Um, 8pm is SS's bedtime in our home(not 11 or 12 like in hers) and if we got him now, he would have to be in bed right after, leaving no time with him tonight. Wish we could have gotten him at 5 as planned before. Another time then." We were so mad! We planned our whole day around the 5 oclock meeting time and then waited and waited and then it was way too late.
What does your husband say about all this? How is he handling it? Mine bottles it up :/
It's the same way at my SD's
It's the same way at my SD's BM's house- no bedtime, no rules or anything so she thinks nothing of doing stuff like that because she doesn't comprehend we have rules/bedtimes in our home.
DH doesn't do anything about it. He said the reason she won't get her today is because last week we didn't get her until Friday so it hasn't been the full week yet- well last week, the reason we didn't get her on Thursday (the normal day) is because BM wouldn't drive her! So how the heck is that my fault or problem?? (We live almost 2 hours away from BM so they normally meet halfway). It's just ridiculous!
If there is a court order
If there is a court order then it does not matter. If there were special arrangements made for last week that has nothing to do with your visitation this week. You cannot just change the court order like that and do what you want(legally). Yeah just because you say something to BM about bed times and structure, does not mean she will do a single thing differently. Unfortunately, even hearing specifics on what wrong is being done does not paint the picture enough lol Meeting halfway is exactly what should be the arrangement, in my opinion. That is fair! That's crazy how some people just really think the world revolves around them :O
..."we are stuck w/her" says
..."we are stuck w/her" says SM, whereas DH probably thinks "I'm so lucky to have her this extra time", and BM says, "wow I'm having fun being single. I have a kid? Well not on any days ending w/ Y ."
Probably accurate.. (nothing
Probably accurate.. (nothing against you SM, just usually how it is)
Oh yeah, DH would have SD all
Oh yeah, DH would have SD all the time if he could.
exactly! it doesnt matter
exactly! it doesnt matter what the court order says if BM and DH make the arrangements (regardless of you) and they are both happy with it!
I guess.. I'm just irritated
I guess.. I'm just irritated because I had made plans for tonight since this is the day she's supposed to go back to BM's. Plus it's my house. I'm just ready for her to go!!
Yeah sometimes that "alone
Yeah sometimes that "alone time" really counts. Sorry your day is disrupted because another person is inconsiderate and irresponsible
Thank you!
Thank you!
can you carry through with
can you carry through with your plans with out DH? Or make new ones with friends?
Well the plan was for us to
Well the plan was for us to go out to dinner together.. It’s kind of something we do every other Thursday (when SD goes back to BM’s) just as a way to reconnect I guess and for me to de-stress. So DH is fully aware of what the plan was. I think I am just going to try to relax tonight and hopefully she will be gone tomorrow.
Ugh that stinks! My SD is
Ugh that stinks! My SD is only supposed to go to her mom's every other weekend and one Thursday afternoon per week and she only shows up MAYBE half the time. I look forward to those weekends so much and really resent the fact that her mother gets all this free time while I'm stuck with this needy kid 95% of the time. DH gets so annoyed with his kid too because of how clingy and entitled she is but still would have her 100% of the time if he could. I don't get it! We don't get child support either
I would be so angry !! You
I would be so angry !! You need a babysitter as a back up I reckon.Your DH should cherish the alone time for you as adults a bit more and stand up for BM.
Know exactly how your feel!
Know exactly how your feel! My BM gets the kids two weekends a month... This weekend was hers. Wednesday she text asking us to switch weekends with her she was having housing issues DH said ok and made plans. DH planned to go hunting with FIL SS8 while I stayed home with SD9 & SS5. Well today (Friday) BM text DH and said she wanted the kids! Am I wrong or is that just the most annoying thing ever?? DH asked me what I thought and he said he wanted to let her have SD9 and SS5 and still take SS8 hunting... I told him thats not fair to the other two. Curious to see what he tells BM when I get off work.
It isn't fair yet that is
It isn't fair yet that is exactly what happend BM said she wanted the other two so off they go... I get soo frustrated these kids are with me day in and day out but the BM wants something and seems like she always gets her way!