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Why does bm feel the need to tell my BF this???

TASHA1983's picture

Like most of the bm's we all have to deal with, my bf's xw is NO different! She is a controlling, manipulative, gold digging, drama queen, town bicycle and likes to stir up bs and drama if and when she can.

BUT thankfully my BF and I are on the same page about how to deal with her...Ignore, Ignore, IGNORE! She has NO power with either of us! Unless a text has to do with the kid such as drop off, pick up, etc. it goes UNANSWERED...PERIOD. Same for phone calls, they do not get answered, if she leaves a vmail then she will get a text in reply.

So of course since we DON'T give her the attention she wants by replying to her moronic texts/calls she will continue to send more texts and one topic in particular that puzzles me is why she feels the need to mention that her kid doesnt like my son. I dont get why that even needs to be mentioned. This has happened 2x to date. I get that she is just being a typical bitch to try and get a response out of us BUT I love it how she has to say that when the reality of the whole situation is her son is literally 2x the size of my son, he is 11 and mine is 8. He is huge (overweight) and my son looks like a skeleton with skin. My son is pretty laid back, keeps to himself, and doesn't say much or stand up for himself too much(I wish he would), and his son is a whiney, bratty, sore loser, bully...but yet her son doesnt like mine??? LMBO!!! WOW!!!

Have any of you experienced anything like this? How did/do you handle it? Please tell me know your stories Smile

ctnmom's picture

She's bringing your son into it to get a rise out of you. I would respond to this one- I would find an article on grossly obese children and how to help them, and send it to her with no comment. Tata- I have to zoom on my broom! }:)

TASHA1983's picture

It is funny you say that ladies because she sent a text that said that she is signing kid up for hockey and that he needs the exercise...lmbo!!! It is funny because she is SOOO into herself and her appearance (constant hair dying, fake nails, tanning, etc.) and her kid is overweight, and every time I have seen him his teeth are covered in orange plaque or whatever the fuck it is.....ick :sick:

TASHA1983's picture

She has never listed WHY her kid doesnt like my son. I just know that whenever my son was around her kid it was when the four of us were together and it was always HER kid that was whining when my son and hers played video games, when they would play b-ball with my bf his kid would act like a sore loser and get an attitude about this or that, etc. I have had to say things a couple times to my bf about HIS kid, and my bf handles it well.

It has been months since my son or I have been around his kid. My son and I dont like her kid. He is all of the things I listed in my OP and more! Even my bf knows it and sees it. He knows how his kid and bm are so it definitley helps to know & see that my bf puts me and our relationship first and doesnt let skid or bm get away with their bs!

As much as I would like to bitch slap her stupid ass I will take the high road and not give her any ammo or attention via text msg BUT if she E.V.E.R had the balls to say something to my face or within earshot of my hearing IT.IS.ON.

I KNOW my BF and I too would always defend my son but in this case I know that she is just being a bitch to get a reaction and attention so I will let it be...what goes around WILL come back around... }:)

smartone's picture

"My son and I dont like her kid... Even my bf knows it and sees it."

THIS is why the skid doesn't like your son. Duh.

Hopefully the skid will stay away and end up with a good stepdad who will provide him a positive role model. You do realize that the man whom you are so in love with is the parent to this "obese" child, right? Why is it you want to come down on the bm and give bf a free pass?

smartone's picture

I didn't say it was her or her son's fault for not liking the skid. Whatever the skid's unlikable traits, she and her son are obviously not making it a secret. Even the dad knows it, you don't think the skid does? I've been reading the op's posts since the beginning and this skid didn't stand a chance. Everyone told her to run and she just stayed right in there...apparently she likes the drama. Now she is alienating this boy from his father. It's sick.

TASHA1983's picture

I have NEVER said anything to his son about not liking him nor have I said anything to BM about not liking him. If I have a problem with his son I tell my BF. I love him and want to be with him so I am honest with him about how I feel about his kid as he is honest with me about my son if/when there is an issue with my son.

The only reason I came to this site in the first place was because of the issues and feelings I have about my BF's son AFTER the shit hit the fan with his kid. I needed an outlet to express my feelings, even my BF knows that I am on this site. That is how honest I am with him about my feelings about his son!

I definitely dont like drama...I wish the bs with skid and bm would stop because the only time we have drama or issues is when they are in the picture. When he doesnt have his kid and bm is not texting everything is really great between BF and I and my son.

And I do not alienate my BF from his kid. I know that my BF wants to be there for his son and take him etc. and if I was what you claim then I would tell him or demand him not to see his kid. But I DON'T!!! Do I wish it was just my BF, me, and my son? Yes, I do because things are so much better and happier when it is just us. If he ever doesnt want to take his son it his HIS CHOICE! Not mine!

TASHA1983's picture

My son and I do not like him because of HOW he is and HOW he acts. Plain and simple.

My BF gets to see his son EOWE and 2 hours every Wedn. so how exactly in that very miniscule amount of time does he contribute to his son being obese? When my BF has his kid he takes him to play basketball, soccer, or to a playground etc.

He is with BM 90% of the time. So it goes without saying that she has way more of an influence on what he eats and of course she is the one who does the grocery shopping etc. for him.

I am in no way giving my BF a "free pass" believe me when he says/does something that I don't agree with I tell him how I feel.

TASHA1983's picture

"My son and I dont like her kid... Even my bf knows it and sees it."

You conveniently left a sentence out in between those two above sentences that I previously wrote.

What I DID mean by what I wrote/said was that even my BF knows and sees how his kid is...a.k.a behavior etc.

smartone's picture

My former SD is 19 now, don't lecture me on what sm's go through. 9 years of putting up with someone else's child is enough to know how it works. The time/distance has also provided me more experience with my own children to realize how wrong sm's can be- OFTEN. There are TWO sides to every story. Of course sm's are going to come on here and make their skids look like douches. And their children are PERFECT.

Before all you sm's jump on me, I see a LOT of sm's on here trying their damnedest to help their skids, find solutions to their problems, how to approach the dh, what should they do, etc. They genuinely want to improve their situation, for themselves, their SO, even the skid. That is NOT the case here. The OP hasn't given a shit about this kid from the beginning. Everything was wrong with him and the bm, she was GOING to fix them and their whole situation to her liking, despite everyone saying to get the hell outta there. So yes, I feel sorry for this kid. The father obviously has no backbone and couldn't stand up to the bm and raise him right and is now letting gf come in and trample all over whatever relationship they may have had. I'm sure the skid is a shit. And she is doing everything she can so she never has to deal with him again. That's not respectable.

TASHA1983's picture

I don't have to make skid look like a douche...he does a good job of that all by himself! And I know my son is VERY far from perfect! I am very strict and tough on my son because he is my son and I love him and DON'T want him to be like how skid is.

I have tried to help with his kid. If I see something wrong etc. I tell my BF about it so he can correct it or deal with his son. I have given his kid many chances and the benefit of the doubt but he is who he is and he is not my child to fix or delegate punishment to etc. that is HIS parents job and I know first hand that my BF doesn't put up with his antics and bad behavior when he has him because I have witnessed it.

I know that I was told to "run" but like many other women on here I happen to love my BF and want to be with him and make it work. I have found that staying away from his kid works for me. In turn he gets to spend quality one on one time with his son when he has him, then his son gets his father all to himself and I and my son stay away. Problem solved.

TASHA1983's picture

Thank you to ALL of you wonderful SM's who "GET IT"!!!!! Smile

I came into my situation with an open mind to give my BF and his kid a chance because prior to my current BF I dated a man with a child and it was a horrible experience! My son and I used to spend time with BF and his kid ALOT and his kid was always whiney, bratty, rude, sore loser, etc. but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. His kid and I used to get along pretty well UNTIL one day I asked his kid if he was OK because he was sitting in the back of my BF's truck pouting because apparently he didnt get something he wanted at GameStop so he gave me an attitude when I asked him if he was ok and after that straw that broke the camels back I had had it! I told my BF how I felt and I was soooo done with his kid and his kids bullshit! So I have completely disengaged myself from him and now my son and I do our own thing when he has his kid EOWE.

TASHA1983's picture

I find it rather interesting that your (SMARTONE) Bio says that you "now am a "never gonna do that again" girlfriend to a man w/ 3 kids." yet you blast me for staying w my BF and not running as others have suggested....Plus of course the irony of your screen name...

TASHA1983's picture

I agree!!! But he had his chance and he blew it with me...so now I am done and now bm & bf can deal with him! He is 11 years old..so there is no excuse for his bullshit behavior IMHO.

TASHA1983's picture

We just ignore her, unless of course it is legit skid related. And even then she gets either a "K" or a "YUP". She is a trouble making troll. Plain and simple.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Our BM used to tell my DH that Skids were jealous of my BS. And she'd make up stories too. She'd tell my DH that the Skids were upset that they had to go to my sons football games. That they were upset that they had t SHARE their time with their father with MY son etc...She was just bat shit crazy. We ignored her.

dledden's picture

Thank GOD I don't have baby momma drama to deal with.....although sometimes I wish I did....come get your fucking crotch dropping and take him FAR FAR AWAY, LOL.....hell it would be WORTH paying child support to her drug addict fat ass just to get rid of her nighmare kid in my house/life!!! LMAO, yours is totally just trying to get a rise out of you, don't let her bother you. Send her a toothbrush for the kid and a brochure on childhood obesity Smile