Passive Aggressive Cell Phone Capers - Again!
Yesterday was my DH's daughters birthday. EVERY YEAR he calls her on her birthday to wish her Happy Birthday. He isn't allowed to send her a birthday card or any other mail (long story) because she is such a control freak.
My husband has forgotten to call her only about twice in the 10 years we have been married, but he has always called her ASAP to wish her a happy birthday.
Yesterday, so he didn't forget (because I am disengaged and not reminding him it is his daughters birthday) my DH has notes up to remind him to call her.
Around 8:30PM my DH husband calls his daughter to wish her a Happy Birthday - and as usual she doesn't answer her cell phone. Once again he has to leave a message, and she will get back with him when SHE feels like.
About one hour later, she calls back, but we are unable to answer the phone. She leaves a message, and says "Call me back when you can." Around an hour later he is able to call her back, but once again, she doesn't answer her cell phone. He leaves another message. She doesn't call back.
So what the heck is SOOOOOO important that she can't answer her cell phone, on her birthday, when she knows her father calls EVERY YEAR - usually in the evening - to wish her a happy birthday? Then when he calls her back AGAIN, she still can't answer the phone? This is a person who's cell phone is practically grafted onto her!
Do they EVER grow up!???? What a silly question - of course not! Or at least not until their little kiddies that have watched them play these games all their life with other people, start to play the same games with THEM! }:) Kid see - Kid do. 
He's NOT ALLOWED to send his
He's NOT ALLOWED to send his own daughter a birthday card?!? Who doesn't allow it??
My SD does not even have my
My SD does not even have my husband's cell# so we have none of that texting crap. I agree, so rude.
Good point Snickersgal about
Good point Snickersgal about the "chase" aspect of this.
Yeah, my DH has done what he can do, and it is up to her to now.
My DH has really been great in supporting me in regards to how his kids treat me, but he is still trying to navigate the maze they keep trying to make him go through in dealing with them. He is slowly getting more and more tired of their games.
I have done more reading up on Narcissism, and found out that Anorexia (his daughter is an anorexic) is just a "culturally more acceptable" form of behavior (along with other types of socially acceptable female behavior) that FEMALE NARCISSISTS use to control their environment and people. I found this information interesting.
She is basically a narcissist, and there is no way a narcissist is willing to face up the fact that they are behaving poorly - it is everyone elses fault!
a KID??? seriously? you're
a KID??? seriously? you're gonna go there?
She is 27 years old - not a
She is 27 years old - not a "kid" any longer. At least it didn't used to be. Nowdays it seems they act like "kids" until well into their 30's.
She works all day, and then if they went out to dinner, 8:30pm seemed a good time to catch her after that, and before she went to bed.
If you're vexing about how
If you're vexing about how your husband spends his time chasing his daughter's phone you're not disengaged. This is what disengagement is all about. It's not a physical thing - its mental and at this point you're fully engaged.
Once you get your mind around that you'll be relieved of all these petty annoyances which have no bearing on your life unless you let them. Watch TV or read for heaven's sake.
Dear Orange County, You are
Dear Orange County, You are probably right. I have "relapsed" and become partially "engaged" once again.
I was doing so well in all others areas, but this one seems to be one that still needs to be "exorcised". }:)
It's just hard to watch my DH struggle, but he has to do this on his own. I can't do it for him.
After this situation though, he seems to have "turned a corner". He can't make her change, especially in her being a narcissist personality. He is better prepared for the next circumstance that comes up with her.
We are "moving on". Thanks for all the input.
I agree - she is NOT a kid at
I agree - she is NOT a kid at 27. GEEZZZ!! What does she give DH for his Birthday? Do 'her rules' apply there too? Orange County does have a good point. Are you trying to be disengaged from her? I'm disengaged from my SD. I don't remind DH it's her Birthday or anything else to do with her, and SD plays the 'game' with him too. But he's the one who has to stand up for himself and stop it.