Do I need to bring a snack for the skids too?
Back to work now after the baby, and during the week we have looonnnggg days. I leave the house at 615 am and we don't all get home until 7pmish.
I take the skids and bs3 with me to daycare when I leave the house (dh takes bs3months to the nanny on his way to work)... Drop them at daycare at 630 and to work by 7. I get out at 530.... Get the skids and bs3 at 6....then we drive across town to get bs-3months from the nanny and its 7ish by the time we get home.
So far I have only done this with the biosons, the skids don't come home from summer-at-mils until Wednesday. And I have packed a snack and drink for BS for the ride to the nannys to tide him over until dinner. It's a long day for a 3 yr old and that's a really late dinner and its been hours since his last snack at daycare.
My question is.....do I have to bring a snack for ss10 and Sd9 too, since I am giving on to bs3? I feel like they are old enough to just wait the hour for dinner. It wouldn't even enter my mind to bring a snack for them, other than having one for BS. When bs3 was an infant and at the same nanny, the skids were 6/7 and 7/8 and I never brought a snack and drink for them. And they were fine. It's going to get real expensive and annoying to have to always have a juice and a snack on hand for all three of them.
When you/their dad have skids
When you/their dad have skids it's THEIR entitlement to FOOD, shelter and clothing. I would NOT have two other kids drooling and doing without while just one has a snack.
It could be just a random kid on the street but my bio three would share what they had with anyone! There have to be multi packs that are cheaper priced, you have to wait for one to eat so what's the annoyance of waiting for three to eat? They do it simultaniously? The cost comes out of household budget, not your own pocket...right?
I would give them all a snack!
So your opinion is that I
So your opinion is that I forever have to treat the skids exactly as I do my youngest child? So when the baby is 2 and skids are 11 and 12 I should offer them snacks every hour as if they were toddlers?
I just don't understand why its perfectly ok for the younger kids to be left out of things that they are too small for, and essentially be told too bad suck it up. But the older kids are somehow entitled to all that is only appropriate for younger kids to keep thing "fair".
I agree, it is a long wait
I agree, it is a long wait for ALL the kids no matter age. Provide snacks / drinks for all the kids is the right thing to do. Don't resent them because they are there and might also need attention and nourishment.
This is not the hill you want
This is not the hill you want to die on. If its getting to be too much for you to do, ask your DH to prepare the SKs snack so you just have to grab it in the morning.
You sound like you're bitter your BK gets left out of stuff and you're always expected to include the SKs...which might be a legit complaint and you need to bring it up to DH. But packing a snack for one after a long day and not packing for the others to prove a point is not the way you want to start making your case.
Since they are all in the car
Since they are all in the car together, if one gets a snack, they all get a snack.
12 hours in day care, WOW. Those poor kids don't have any family time during the week.
I'm not the OP and I stay
I'm not the OP and I stay home with my kids, but wow, the comment about 12 hours of daycare and getting no family time is a little much. Most parents who put their kid in daycare do not like it but have to so they can afford to pay for the family....shaming them and making them feel bad generally isn't helpful....
I read something entirely
I read something entirely different from the OP than those who responded above.
To me it sounded like she was just asking if it was appropriate to expect older children to wait until dinner to eat rather than feeding them a snack. I read that because they are older, perhaps there should be an expectation that they learn to be patient, which I think is a fair expectation. I did not read that the OP wanted to intentionally withhold food from the skids in order to be cruel.
It really would be a pain to constantly cart around snacks enough for 3 kid instead of something simple and light for a toddler.
However, there is a concern about giving one child a snack and not the others. It does come across as rude and as though there are favorites. The skids are older, but they aren't old enough to understand that a 3 year old isn't going to tolerate very well being hungry and crabby at the same time and that everyone in the car is going to suffer.
Thus, I would ask the nanny to give the 3 year a light snack right before you pick him up to avoid the conflict. I'm sure if you explain the situation to the nanny she will understand and be willing to oblige.
That's a great suggestion
That's a great suggestion about getting the snack from the nanny.
The 3 yr old isn't at the
The 3 yr old isn't at the nannys. The three yr old and the skids are at daycare together. I pick them all up together and then we go to the nanny to get the baby (3months old).
And yeah, the kids have a long day at daycare.... And I hate it. But that's how it has to be to make ends meet. Neither biomom pays their child support so I have to work long hours to afford two extra kids in my house.
I def wasn't asking to intentionally starve the skids. I just feel that at ten years old they were old enough to wait for dinner. We have nightly issues getting them to eat their dinner, so feeding them a snack will just make them worse. I figured that treating all the kids in an age appropriate way was the fairest thing to do, since they are so far apart in ages. But apparently contemptating treating a ten year old like he's ten just makes me an evil bitch.
If you're worried about them
If you're worried about them not eating dinner, just give them something light ~ a few crackers, carrot sticks or grapes.
Chances are the older kids spend more time at the center running and palying than the younger one does. At the end of the day they all are going to be hungry. Regardless of age, it isn't fair to allow one kid to eat while the others just sit and watch.
Really? It is a pain to feed
Really? It is a pain to feed the kids a snack?
Do you get a snack during the day? Do you keep the same meal/snack times as your S/kids?
This is the life you have decided on for yourselves. 12 hrs a day outside your home working and running the kids around. And yes, it would be very unfair for your son to get a little snack so he doesn't get cranky but expect a 9 and 10 yr old to go without because they only have to wait 1 hr for dinner. Try waiting for your dinner for an hour in a restaurant and see how you like it. Everyone else around you is eating while you get hungrier and hungrier as the chef runs around picking up his drycleaning.
Why isn't your DH picking the baby up? Or is he able to pick up the others and get them home so no one needs a snack? Is it really so hard the throw a few frosen juice boxes and a couple of granola bars in a bag and leave it in the car during the day?
Yes, it will get 'expensive' but this is the life you have decided will be the kids life. Why should they suffer due to your schedule?
No, Dh can't pick up any of
No, Dh can't pick up any of the kids as he doesn't get off work until 730 and has a 40 no.its commute home.
You asked if I keep the same meal and snack times as the skids? Actually no, I don't start making my own dinner until 9 at night so that I can focus all my time and attention on the kids, bio and step, until they go to bed.
How about just asking the
How about just asking the older kids if they will be ok until dinner or will they would like a light snack and then you will know. To just assume they are fine and let them watch BS3 eat something is rude. 7ish is a late dinner for anybody. My 9 year old niece is famished at 4:30 when she gets out of school!
Yes, being any kind of parent can be expensive and annoying.
Yes, they do get snacks at
Yes, they do get snacks at daycare.
BS3's class gets their last snack at 330.
The skids get their afterschool snack at 415. Which is why I didn't think I was asking too much by expecting them to wait for dinner at 7.
Two and younger, I think can
Two and younger, I think can be treated differently...over 2, sorry, all the same. I understand that you don't think that a 2yr old should be treated same as an 11yr old in your example, HOWEVER, I can assure you that when your 2yr old is 10, you'll be doing the same and won't see a problem with him being 10 and doing that for him...I can bet you 100%...of course, your kids will always be younger so it's easy to just look at the age difference, but unless you plan to stop giving your kids snacks at X age, then you are just making a big deal out of something that could really bite you in the ass later.
PS - I wouldn't be picking up anybody else's kids either though...
Do they ask for snacks? The
Do they ask for snacks? The thing that drives me INSANE about my skids is that they NEVER ask me for anything. They really don't talk to me much at all. I really have tried. I say hello to them, ask them things, try to talk to them about their interestes, etc. For the most part they just stare at me in response (they are 9 & 12). I don't have the daycare/car situation, but if my 4 year old or 2 year old ask me for a snack, I get them one and a lot of times my 9 year old SS will just stare at me. I assume he wants one too, but I refuse to give him anything unless he asks. I'm not going to be a mind-reader. There have even been times that I've asked them if they want the same snack I'm already getting for my bios, and they still just sit there and stare. I don't get it, but it drives me nuts. I'm not mean to them at all. I think they are used to their mom/dad/grandparents just serving them constantly and don't even know how to ask (let alone say please or thank you)...but I don't put up with that.
Now, if I was giving my bios a snack in the car on the way home, and the steps asked/expressed they wanted one too, I'd give them one, but I'd make sure their dad would be the one who made it. It's his job, IMO.