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DH always takes the path of least resistance... and it drives me crazy!

PeanutandSons's picture

Whatever happened to being a adult and doing the hard thing because its the right thing?

Skids were to be on punishment Friday and Saturday last weekend. See previous blogs for the full story on that. I was on my own with skids all Friday because Dh works til 11:30 pm. Damn near gave myself an anurism trying to follow through with the punishment plan we set up for them.

Saturday morning, more issues to deal with by myself because Dh is sleeping in (since he doesn't get home til after midnight). I deal with his kids on my own 5.5 days a week. He doesn't even lay eyes on them from Monday when they go to bed til Saturday when he wakes up. Then he's with us for a few hours til he leaves for work at 2pm Saturday. Then he has Sunday and Monday off. And since the skids have school on Monday, and go straight to daycare afterwards, he only helps me with them a few hours on Sat, Sunday, and a few hours Monday.

So on Sat I take my two boys out when he wakes up so they have atleast a bit of fun since we will be stuck home watching the skids when Dh goes off to work. We just run to the local park for about an hour so bs3 can burn off some energy and bs-3months can get some fresh air.

I end up calling Dh while we were there (lost my debit card and wanted him to check the table for it) and he mention.s that he found a great deal of tablets for the kids for Xmas. And while on the phone asks the skids if they want him to buy them a tablet. That aggitated me right away because that totally negates any lesson they might have learned when he's offering them tablets while on punishment. Xmas is far enough away, and the sale lasting long enough it didn't need to be brought up then.... Or it could have just been a cool suprise. But whatever.

I get home and he Tele me that he talked to them and told them that they can watch tv and play with their toys. So after a day and a half of me tearing my hair out to enforce what HE asked me to do, and them acting like total jackasses, he just let's them off the hook the second I leave the house. So now I am just the evil stepmother yet again, because he is too lazy to follow through.

Then last night, bs3 wanted to sleep in our bed. I let him the night before because he was sick, but now he was better so I told him that he had to stay in his bed. He started crying so Dh went in to settle him while I fed the baby. I go in 15 minutes later to put the baby in his cosleeper and BS is sleeping in our bed with Dh. (bs3's bed is in our room because he wouldn't be safe unsupervised with the skids and they have the.other two bedrooms in the house). So again, I try to count on Dh for a simple task of backing me up, and he instantly caves. I woke Dh and asked why on earth he let BS I to our bed after I told him no. He just gives me this sheepish look and says because he wanted to. I immediately move BS back to how bed. I am not raising my son to be like the skids.

Why am I the only adult in this house!?!

Comments

Jshep's picture

I know exactly what you mean. My FDH sometimes acts like another kid when FSD7 is home with us. Example: the other night FDH thought it would be a good idea to practice soccer with FSD...at 9:00pm on a Thursday (school night) and IN THE HOUSE!!! I was outside smoking when I heard a loud SMACK on our patio doors. I opened the door and BOTH of them had this "Oh shit, we're in trouble" look. So not only were they playing soccer in the house, he got FSD all wound up right before bed. He does this every time she is with us. He goes to tuck her in and 5 min later, you hear grunts and squeals of laughter because they are in there having a tickle fight or wrestling around. Then I get to be the bad guy and tell them to knock it off cause it's bedtime. Or during homework, he'll poke her or bug her to distract her and I have to be the meanie that makes her or him go in the other room. It's exhausting trying to be the responsible one for homework, bedtime, waking up, bathing...etc. I know most would say to disengage, but I just can't. I feel like if I DON'T do this stuff, then no one will and FSD will suffer. FDH just thinks I worry too much. I just want this kid to be on a damn schedule. Don't think that's too much to ask.