You are here

Have SS whenever he or FDH decide??

Just me in a big pool of fish's picture

Submitted by Just me in a bi... on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 1:30pm

Forums: 
General Discussion

Here's another one for you ladies. In terms of custody arrangements.... do you have certain and specific days when your DH sees their skid? At the moment, SS10 just rings FDH and comes to stay with us or DH will pop to BM/BM's mother's house to see skid after work. At the moment, he stays with FDH and BM mother more than BM (even though he pays CS as if the child is there permanently). Before BM met someone else he used to see SS 7 nights a week. Now I'm due to move in with FDH in 8 weeks time and am a little bit confused by this arrangement and wondering would it be best to have certain days more organised (like he stays every saturday which is fine) but certain week days also organised rather than SS deciding and just phoning and viola all of a sudden he's there. I fear I've arrived a little too late into this scenario and that it may be something I will just have to live with Sad

Just me in a big pool of fish's picture

Submitted by Just me in a bi... on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 1:56pm

Ok thanks for that, that's good to know. I think it's been a bit of a challenge getting into a routine of domestic life as I have no kids of my own or any experience of it, will hopefully get easier Smile

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 7:28pm

If it works and everyone gets along ok then it's not an issue, but you will need to set up some ground rules (I learnt this the hard way LOL)

1. OH must talk to you before agreeing to take SS on unexpected days. (Because the day will come where you have had a crap day, feel sick, feel like just spending some quality time with OH and he will just turn up with the kid otherwise - your home too means YOU get a say as well - most of the time it will be fine but there will be days when you just need space/peace/time with OH)

2. If you and OH have plans already THEY take precedence over the SS deciding he wants to come over - otherwise OH will brush off your plans for SS - and that is NOT on.