Exactly! I'm not sure how some online software helps that at all .. I've read a few reviews and they all basically say it's a communication tool, and doesn't offer anything you couldn't do with other resources (Excel, shared calendars, etc).

But I'm wondering if maybe because you pay for it, and it's explicitly related to custody only, if it helps facilitate better communication?

I just don't see BM keeping up with it (or DH for that matter). She'll be all gung-ho to get it set up and adding all the information in the calendar, etc; but when it comes to issues or wanting to switch days, I have little faith she will not still resort to her same back-handed shady ways ..

Couldn't we achieve the same thing by emailing pictures to her though? Their custody calendar is not very difficult, and from what I understand, this site requires you to enter in each date specifically (can't just select "every other weekend" options, etc). It does nothing to build a better parenting/custody plan, just documents the one you already have.

I'm just not sure I see the value in it .. seems like glorified email to me. She thinks it will make things easier, but I don't find email to be particularly difficult ..

Yeah it's a neat software, but it also requires people who are willing to log in and use it.

That's the problem I foresee .. BM has demonstrated time and again that she is incapable of regular email communication. When she wants something, she calls and texts. DH has tried and tried to get her to email, but it usually goes like this:

Standard text convo --
BM: Can I talk to you about [insert whatever issue here]?
DH: Shoot me an email, I'm at work and I'll respond when I get time.
BM: Why can't you just talk to me like a normal person?
DH doesn't answer.
BM: What the fuck is your problem? I'm their MOTHER and I have a right to talk to their DAD when I want to.
DH doesn't answer.
BM proceeds with another half dozen texts detailing out her requests.
DH doesn't answer.

When he gets home from work, he logs into email, summarizes what she asks for and proposes a solution and/or gives a reply. He's usually willing to compromise when her requests aren't unreasonable, and when she comes to him first (ie, doesn't just make whatever plans and THEN "lets him know" after the fact).

If she gets what she wants, she'll respond with a text. If she doesn't, she will respond with a text.

So you see, I'm just not sure how a software, no matter how neat, changes her BEHAVIOR.

Their schedules are not difficult at all. They both work set shifts at work, with some potential for overtime (which you can't really schedule in anyway because it's always last-minute).

However, for the summer, the girls are with us full time all summer. BM has been stationed in TX for school, so the girls will be moving there in the fall for one school semester. Then back to MD for the spring semester. (Stupid, I know, but also out of my hands).

I would totally fill the calendar with my own appointments if I had any :/ .. outside of work, it's mostly skids and puppies for me

I agree. I'm not saying NEVER, but I don't see this being the "quick fix" she seems to think it will be.

Prove to DH you can communicate, in writing, regularly for .. let's say 1 month. Otherwise, no dice.

Unless of course she's willing to foot the bill, in which case we'd gladly use it. However, I don't see that happening EVER.

There's a discount if you buy two years up front .. like $179/parent for 2 years instead of $99/one year.

I guess the goal, too, is to not NEED this software for the rest of their time as minors. I would think eventually, after successfully use, they would decide it was no longer necessary.

I definitely do not see that happening with those two in the next year or two though.

Yeah it'd be nice, but she just wouldn't document any of that stuff. It would end up being our own personal notes in there documenting everything. Or her fighting/disagreeing with everything we email to her.

Same exact thing we have in email now, only more expensive.

This is precisely my issue .. I'm sure it's a great tool. But BM currently does not respond to emails. DH emails her regular updates regarding school, activities, etc. and she responds every single time with a text or phone call. His attempts to put boundaries in place and prevent her constant calling and texting was resorting to putting everything email, but she is just oblivious.

Her best attempts at email are her raging rants trying to accuse DH of this, that, and the other. She even claims that because it's in email, it's admissable in court. It's a nightmare.

So my whole issue is .. what's good in a documentation/communication tool if you've never demonstrated an ability to do either?