This sucks.

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SD is here for the weekend, despite the fact that she is so "uncomfortable" here. She is acting like nothing ever happened. My BD is so happy to have a sister for awhile, as SD has decided to pay attention to her for a change. DH is happy his daughter is home. SD is acting like a perfect little angel with both of them. I, on the other hand, am depressed and feel like puking. I've been avoiding being in the same room with her as I am not sure if I will cry or scream if I have to face her directly. How can everyone just go around like they don't care about the rude things she has said to me? But that is exactly what they are doing.

I don't know what I want from anyone at this point. When it happened, DH should have called her on it immediately. Since he didn't, she again gets the message anything she does is ok. Feel free to step on me anytime.

She is completely triumphant because she does not care one bit if I've disengaged. Disengagin is not helping me because I, so far, am incapable of disengaging from my feelings of hurt around the whole situation. I hate this so much. It hurts so much. If I knew I had hurt someone, I couldn't stand not clearing the air. She seems to be loving this situation because she only gets positive consequences to her every action.

I don't have an answer for

I don't have an answer for you but I know just how you are feeling right now! Been there done that! This is temporary at least! We will get through this weekend. Hugs! Pray for strength and peace! You are not alone!

Thanks, Towanda!

i agree with Towanda, i feel

i agree with Towanda,
i feel the same way!!! i cant stand the angel n sweet voice act!!! makes me want 2 vomit. but praying is always a good idea!!! i wish sometimes i was better at praying!!! keep ur head up, n try 2 get through the weekend!!

I think my bio would defend

I think my bio would defend me against an aggressive attack but she loves SD also and prefers not to escalate the situation. It hurts hearing SD talk so nice to everyone when I never did a damn thing to deserve her self righteousness and disdain of me. I know I am wallowing in it and need to let it go but I just can't yet. I know I am only hurting myself and the years of stress and drama when I was still trying so hard took a lot out of me. I need to start repairing myself but I am not yet sure how.

I know this may sound a

I know this may sound a little far out but it may worth a try: When you are around her, imagine that you know a deep, dark secret of hers that she wants no one to know about - but you know it. And this is the attitude you will exude. She knows you are miserable. She is enjoying avery minute of it. But think of it; if she saw that 'all knowing' look in your eyes, and just a slight smirk at the corner of your mouth her enjoyment would be diminished considerably. Another thing - I was always accused of making SD 'uncomfortable'. I finally asked for specifics and DH could not come up with one. Then I told him I could come up with quite a few instances when SD made me uncomfortable. Haven't heard that one again! And now, I WANT SD to feel too 'uncomfortable' to enter my home again. LOL You do NOT have to be the victim here.

Is there any book you want to

Is there any book you want to read, piece of work on the home you want to do, or hobby you burningly need to pursue right now? Are there distant people you might really like to speak to on the phone? The important thing is to keep yourself occupied, not just with an upside down book in front of you, but with something REAL that REALLY occupies your brain and keeps it out of the present situation. This could be just the time for some vital piece of curtain repair you have been putting off til now or some knitting you had put to one side whilst watching an absolutely favourite box set of DVDs. The best thing in my view would be having a friend to stay so as to alter the dynamic between the people in the home, but, if not, just immerse yourself in something absorbing that you had been putting off til a better time. This IS that better time.

I'll try it sandye,

I'll try it sandye, thanks.

Poodle, it's graduation weekend so no-go on working on a project but I will keep that in mind in case there is a next time.

Thankful I can come here to steptalk. Very proud of OSD by the way.

I wish a bunch of us on this

I wish a bunch of us on this site could be there with you! We all know how that knee-jerk-knot-in-stomach feeling is when around some of DHs family. Just hold your head high and try to keep busy. The hardest part is that by doing nothing (not sticking up for you) your family is condoning what she did. Inaction sends a clear msg that it is okay to treat you like this. Hugs, it will be over soon.

I, too, am disengaged with

I, too, am disengaged with elder skid, sd21 and coped with a visit last year from her, by organising the ass out of that trip. She thought she would just be sitting, being waited on, no doubt, while crowing away to Daddy, about just how wonderful she is, blah, blah. We presented a united front, had a unique code word, which was used if I needed to talk to DH, in private, right away. sounds weird, but worked beautifully for us!!
We were busy everyday, never seen sd21 look so tired !!! She thought she would just be sitting and surfing on the Internet, while eating her way through our house ( her usual life !!) Cut down the time, actually spent listening to her, and DH stayed strong and didn't do the usual shopping sprees she expects.......
Don't think she enjoyed the visit much ( sorry, you come here to see DH so you spend time with him, not lolling on your huge backside eating, and ignoring him, by spending your days and nights online) which suits me fine..... Gee, don't think she'll be back soon.
Don't allow them to get too comfortable, my sd21 also manipulates everyone around her, she is a Mythomaniac and Hypochondriac !!!

Mythomaniac! Love it!!!

I found that looking just

I found that looking just beyond someone's eye, at an ear for instance, really unnerves them. Maybe it's wrong of me but I really focus to the point where they turn around to see what's behind them. I tolerated a LOT but I got to the point whereby I had to take care of my own self and that was just one of the things I did with SD. I agree with the 'knowing look' and the 'smirk' thing too. Keep it just shy of arrogance though...LOL

Well, in a way you were all

Well, in a way you were all with me, thanks to steptalk. Your support made a difference, thanks!

She treated my BD and DH like gold, enjoyed some "complain about what is in the frig" sport when she thought no one could hear her except BD. They both enjoy that sport, anything to make us sound incapable-whatever. I didn't let on that I heard though I am sure they both figured out I was in the next room.

So she is a hero yet again. She made polite conversation with me at brunch while completely ignoring me unless someone was looking. I'll take ignoring any day.

I don't care how nice she pretends to be, my guard is up-I am done being walked on.

Me too! I sure wish I'd

Me too! I sure wish I'd known if this site when SD was so caustic when we were alone but just a sweetheart in front of DH. And DH seemed totally oblivious when I was treated as invisible in my own home. Like you, SD would not lift a finger to clean up after herself. I really do blame myself for continuing to be a doormat. At least I DID finally learn.

I'm curious. What is your son's opinion of SD since he grew up? I've found that even though SD acts as if she is more intellegnet than anyone else, other people (besides DH) have, in time, noticed her behavior.

He should accept and then at

:sick: He should accept and then at the last moment pass his tickets on to a friend (female and with chutzpah).

LOVE IT!!!

Yes it's the blatant rudeness

Yes it's the blatant rudeness and desire to present themselves in an attractive light that is so vile. If they just had the guts to ignore the SM the whole time, it would b more tolerable. Glad it all went without big incident, also make sure refrigerator is pretty much empty next time

Glad you survived without

Glad you survived without incident! It is such a pity that their presence, even when they are behaving has to cause us to be ill! You are right though, never let your guard down again!

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