SD30 sent DH text with a threat to kill me if I tell anyone where she lives. She is hiding from legal and financial messes .
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What are my options? Tried to file protection from abuse but have to Wait. Issue with criteria.
I just. She would leave us alone.
Thank you for your advice.
Thank you for your advice. I do not have contact with her directly now that she has been out of my house for three weeks. She text her daddy 30 Times a day and calls. She sent the threat to him. Along with blaming me for her troubles and telling DH he needs to divorce me or she will not be around him I saw it on his phone.
He doesn't think it is serious. She Was just Mad I returned some of her mail. She will not put in forward order. I have reported her threat against me to the county mental health dept. she was going to counseling with them. But since she is lying about her address they said she should go to the county she lives in.
Another lie and fraud by her. They were going to notify her to change it.
Also she is cheating on her tax rate for pay with her employer. Claiming she still has a perm address in another state. I didn't know you could claim a self storage unit as your addresses. Plus she says my address is temp one. She was here 5 weeks. Gone now to apt for 3 weeks. Likely she will go to jail for some of the things she has done already and is out on bail for trial in June.
But yes the question is what to do with the death threat.
I only have a picture of the
I only have a picture of the text that was on his phone on my phone . And a print out of the call log. I can't get the actual text file log because it is the phone my husband uses and he would have to sign the consent. Hard. To do with his headso far up his arse. Plus it may be gone already from the records. The mental health dept was to do a home visit assessment on Monday. They have. Not gotten back to me.
I may still call the state police. My friend knows a retired DA I could talk to as we'll.
It is crazy because my husband does nothing to stop her battery of hate against me thru him. Even if I don't see the text I know they are abusive and divisive. She wants me gone. Because I would not bow down to her tears and tantrums and running all over me.
I'm wondering if you could
I'm wondering if you could the people from the home study to your advantage. Havae the show to prove she no longer lives there. They would be an unbiased third party for proof. This wouldn't necessarliy be for theh threat part, but just in case she has put your address down for other fraud collection purposes.
Oh, you know my SD then.
Oh, you know my SD then. Call the police and tell everyone who wants or needs to know where she is. Stupid cow wants you to protect her and this is how she asks. Yeah right, I'd be protecting this cow for sure, I'd make sure she was well protected behind bars. Take out an intervention or apprehended violence order or whatever you call them where you live and slap her backside in jail if she so much as misdials and your phone only rings once.
Call the police, she has
Call the police, she has gotten herself into a huge mess which she cannot hide from, its no life running from the law, she needs to face what she has done, as for the threat she has made to you, its unacceptable and should be dealt with asap, poor hubby is devastated, he can't accept just how fffed up she is, she has serious problems which cannot be ignored, if you let her get away with this she will never get the help that she needs, that is exactly what you should tell your husband, how many death theats have people laughed at and then well you know what I mean.
Agree with this^^^^ If you
Agree with this^^^^
If you are serious about reporting the death threat, then I would go into DH's phone and forward it to yours. "Yes, Officer I have a copy on my phone here." }:)
"2. It is perfectly
"2. It is perfectly understandable why you would not want to be around someone who has threatened to take your life. Buh byyyeeeeee SD!!! I don't think I'd spout off ultimatums right now. Your DH is no doubt struggling to absorb hers already, and I don't think you should distract him from her peacock display of craziness. I think I'd lay low, if possible, and "let him handle it". Will make him feel like Commander In Chief of Blended Family Harmony. And then in a few months when he says SD is over blatantly hating you and threatening to kill you, you can explain that you still don't feel comfortable. Try again in 20 years."
If I'd known then what I know now.......ladies, if you can learn anything about how to deal with your DH during the SD's crazy drama, you will come out looking like a doll to your DH.
I was so busy 'reacting' to all the crazyness, I ended up (without realizing it) putting pressure on DH to 'choose'. If I would have just sat back and RELAXED every time SD's pined and screamed at him for this or that, they would have looked like the nut jobs, not me. All I ended up doing was reinforcing his position on the fence (because any negative remark against SD's would have him dressed up in full armor and shield ready to defend them). --defended them over NOTHING....but because I was reacting to their chaos and drama, I was looking like the bad guy.
Now I take a step back. I assess every situation, every text, call (which, there aren't many these days), and I evaluate and try and guess what the 'motivation is this time'. It gives me time to talk to DH, and come together as a team, and come up with a mutual response that is not harmful to our marriage and/or our finances. And then I let HIM respond, like SA said "will make him feel like Commander In Chief of Blended Family Harmony".
My DH (like I'm sure a lot of others out there) has a dream. A dream of someday his daughters will grow up, mature, and will re-engage and want to be one big happy family with skidgrand-kids. --get-togethers during holidays....etc. Do I know the reality of that dream? Of course. Do I tell him the truth? No. Why hurt him. The best case senerio we can ever hope for, is that they DO grow up, and at least want a relationship with their father. I DOUBT they will ever want anything to do with me. And, quite frankly, after being assaulted by YSD two years ago, and verbally abused (demanded wedding $$ from me) by the OSD, I really never want anything to do with them.
So your DH takes no issue
So your DH takes no issue with his grown daughter threatening the life of his wife???
It seems your SD isn't the only problem here.
Absolutely call the cops. As someone else mentioned, forward the text from your DH's phone to your own so that you'll have it for proof. If you cannot forward it from his phone, use the picture you have of it.
How did she phrase the threat? I mean, a threat is a threat, but I wondered if it's something simple & direct or if there could be any question of it not being so serious.
Frankly, if my DH was so careless about his wife's life being threatened, I'd have no use for him.
Why are SKs hell bent on
Why are SKs hell bent on trying to breAk up marriages? So much selfishness. Hope things get better fast!
After making the police
After making the police report do not tell anyone where she lives. You might even go so far as to tell her your intentions to not inform anyone.
Then tell everyone.
I agree with Step Aside and
I agree with Step Aside and Mominator. And, I have to admit, OC made me chuckle. Don't react to the little bitch. Unless your local police department is different in your state, they are not going to react to this. DON'T react! She doesn't exist. She is going to hang herself. Take it from someone who reacted for years to this crap. It isn't worth the toll it takes on your health.
Thank you everyone for all
Thank you everyone for all the comments . I am taking a break from the drama somewhat. Went away to the seashore today for the weekend with a friend couple. Thank God they are here. DH is as much company as a crab. I think he may be in withdrawal bc SD has only texted him once today to say thanks when he texted her a happy birthday. I imagine she is off celebrating with loser bf.
DH kept checking his phone all day. Don't know what is going on lately . Asked to be left out of the drama. To clarify. The county mental health dept was going to do a home visit at her apt to see if she was a danger to herself or others. They were not coming to my house. She had already been to an intake appt for counseling in our county but it is wrong now that she moved. One of the reasons she will not change her address. She needs to complete a mental health treatment program in order to regain her prof lic in another state. And probably For an excuse for all her current crimes and mess . As the guy never called me back I'm thinking she snowed him too. She has a way of playing the victim. And she is definitely lying on her work records for her tax and pay rate plan.
Anyway. Trying to take a break. Would be more fun without mopey DH here. This whole mess is like a dark cloud over us all the time. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Hope so.
It is a beautiful shore town. The beach was lovely to walk on. Nice dinner. Sunset. Just missing the romance. Or even the friendship and companionship. Sad. don't know why he is so distant with me today? He wanted to come here.
Still have to make some inquiries next week about the death threat. I only have the picture of the text. It was worded as a coercion threat. If she finds out I tell any one where she lives then she will kill me when she gets out of jail.
I am thinking I need to talk to the DA for the case she is out on bail for now. She sounds like she may be a flight risk.
Trial is June 7. Maybe they could at least put a monitor on her.
Wish me a good day at the beach tomorrow. Cause next week. May be hell again.
Loved your advice Orange
Loved your advice Orange County Ca about telling no one but everyone! To update. Returned from my weekend away. The ocean was still there when I left so If anyone else wants to get away have fun!
On Monday I was reminded of everything by a call to my home from SD 's co worker who was looking for her because she was not at work Monday or Friday. I gave the girl SD's cell number and my husbands number. Perhaps I said he knew where she was.
Then I proceeded to explain to DH how these reminders made me feel and that I would not hide SD. I would tell anyone looking for her where to find her and I would return her mail to sender. That I would yet call the police if the madness does not end . So big disagreement there. He totally defended her and did not address my feelings about anything.
Anyway for whatever reason she finally changed her mailing address to forward her mail. Wonder if her probation officer knows she moved? Or the DA for the case she is out on bail for?
I need a break from it all. I am not part of their family it seems, No one wants my advice or help so DH is not allowed to talk to me about her unless I ask . I do not want anything more to do with any of his children. I will focus on my own.
He has been better about how he handles the calls and text. Not so up in my face with it. But still on the sneaky side with how he doesn't put his phone down. It will be a long time before the trust returns, if ever.
The shock of the death threat is diminishing but will not be forgotten. I did speak to an attorney who thought it would not be taken seriously by the police since the text was to my husband. I may call the state police yet to just ask if it is something they would take seriously. If they question her It would only incite her more and cause more abuse from her thru and to my DH. But I do think it is wrong for her to have said it and should have consequences for her actions. Will see what happens.
Thanks to all for the help and support. So much appreciated! I am hoping to focus back on my life now.