I have known my 16SS sinse he was 2 and we have had custody of him since he was 9. My husband travels all the time, most weekends he is gone and several nights during the week he is gone. Bio Mom is rarely in the picture, only when SS goes to see her which has not been since Christmas. He is driving now, active with Baseball and now wanting to hang out more with friends. I have been the primary disciplinarian since I have known him. Dad comes home and is the playmate to all the kids (we have 2 bio kids together). We have discussed numerous times the importance of hime taking the role of disciplinarian several times, but the problem is he is not home enough to take care of the things that need attention on a daily basis... such as: 16SS lying about where he has been or not calling to say he is going anywhere, not cleaning up after himself (leaving spilled milk/food on counter top) when he knows he should. He is responsible for helping out with the cattle, but will just leave for school without feeding, stating he didn't have time (when I had reminded him an hour prior to him leaving). In the past year, I have backed off of alot of things and put them in Dads lap. He told me to call anytime there was a problem and that is what I have been doing. It is causing a rift between all of us. I feel constantly frustrated, angry, and lost. I don't like being around the house when I know the SS is going to be there. I feel like I have no positive energy left for my own two children (ages 7 and 11). I cannot impress upon the 16SS that all he has to do is be honest and communicate and he wouldn't be hassled by me. I hate the feelings I have inside of me.I have been honest with my husband and he has taken it well. I feel like a control freak when it comes to the 16SS and I dont know how to let that go! I want some peace in my heart so that I can be a better wife, mom, and stepmom! Please help! Any suggestions/resources will be much appreciated!!!

Thanks,
Emotionally Lost