BM moving to Florida

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Well, we just found out last night that Snatchsquatch is moving to Florida next month and she decided it would be in the best interest of SD8 that she give full custody to Dad. I dont know how I feel about it right now, its still sinking in. Knowing her past, I dont see her making any attempt to come see her or paying for SD to come see her. I dont know if I can deal with SD ALL the time with her issues she has! Snatchquatch has issues of babying SD8 and letting her do whatever she wants when at her house. Any ideas on how this will affect SD? I am worried that she will regress even further than how she is acting now. She acts more like she is 2 as it is and I foresee her acting worse once BM moves. Can anyone tell me what I should expect from her and the best way to handle it? I know it will be extremely hard on her and I want to consol her but, I know in the back of my head that the next few months or so is going to be hell for me. I am just looking for some guidence on what I should expect from SD8. I love DH with all my heart and I dont want it to get to the point where I consider leaving because its too much for me. Thanks everyone!

Katie

Did you have any say at all

Did you have any say at all in this? It's not just about BM, DH, and SD. Having a skid live with you fulltime SUCKS!

I wish I had advice for you,

I wish I had advice for you, but it does suck. It SUCKS raising someone else's kid while they sit on their ass and do god knows what. I kind of hate it, and have considered leaving many times because I can't handle the steps. And, even though we have custody, we still get to pay child support, because she doesn't work at all. I can't even begin to explain how much I resent and hate the BM, and how miserable I am most of the time when they are here. I suggest getting a job in the evenings. Seriously, I did, and it is my saving grace, because it is an ESCAPE.

Her issues might actually

Her issues might actually improve. She won't be able to regress on her weekend visits with her mom anymore. If you and Dh can get on the same page expectation wise you may finally get to make some progress.

While it is really rough to have full custody, its is actually easier when bm is completely out of the picture. She isn't there to undermine what you are trying to do, no second set of standards and rules, no where for them to escape consiquences. I hate it when one of the bms decided to come for a few visits, the kids get much harder to deal with (and they don't actually take them so its no break for me anyways)

I LOL'd when I read

I LOL'd when I read "Snatchsquatch"!! That's jus too funny.

I agree that SD may improve with BM out of the picture. She'll be less likely to have split allegiances. I honestly don't know what I'd do if my skids didn't like me or treat me well. It would be awful. I know I am blessed. Our issue with BM who makes it her full time job to be as much of a nusance as possible. I wish daily that she'd disappear.

Is there any chance for family counseling to help congeal as a family?

Thanks everyone for your

Thanks everyone for your support. I hate to say it but I think things will get worse before it gets better. Even though Snatchquatch only gets her one weekend a month, everything we do with SD8 turns to crap by the time we get her back. Just when we start to see a little progress with her actually acting like an 8 year old rather then a 2 year old, she goes there and gets babied big time and when she comes back, acts like a baby and expects the same treatment mom gives her. She goes back to the baby talking, bearly making it to the bathroom on time with some "accidents", not wanting to do things for herself like getting dressed etc....basically turns into a helpless 8 year old! We will be getting her into counseling to help her adjust. I dont know how it will affect her until snatchquatch actually leaves. Right now, I can only assume that its not going to be easy, given SD's past history and how she acts now. I am hoping Dad doesnt overcompinsate for snatchquatch and start going back to babying her like he did before. With a lot of help from me, he has gotten ALOT better and tells her she is a big girl and can do things for herself. After seeing some of the posts on this site, I am forseeing this lasting for quite some time before I start to see improvement. I just hope she breaks before I do. I think its impossible if I made the attempt to disengage at this point because I believe it will take ALOT longer if I dont step up to the plate and stop it while she is still young. Half of me feels sorry for her and the other half cant stand that she acts like she is 1 or 2!