Anyone else made to feel guilty
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Does anyone else on here deal with spouse who makes them feel like the Wicked StepMother?? I am so sick of dealing with the dysfunction that is my SS (2 of them) their ridiculous BM and my husbands ideas dealing with it.
Ms Beans - your ss was
Ms Beans - your ss was SHAKING your baby? :jawdrop: You can kill babies like that!!! OMG that would be the last time he was around my child.
I would have been tempted to tell him "until you have pushed a screaming baby from YOUR vagina remain quiet on the parenting advice..." that should shut the little f&cker up.
yeah, i love how the little
yeah, i love how the little fr's think they know more about parenting than the parents do! sd would give me her disapproving looks when she didn't like how i was doing something with bs. like that should make me stop or something. she couldn't even handle changing a dirty diaper, but she has all the answers...
I'm in the same boat my
I'm in the same boat my dear.. My fiance and I had a massive fight this morning. I currently don't see my step daughters (twins), as they stay with his mother for visits due to the fact that they completely ignore me and my biological daughter (20 months) in our own house!! So they have been banned for now, and all I EVER hear from my fiance is "maybe if you were decent from the beginning". Excuse me, I'm not decent? I've never done ANYTHING bad to those children. Oh apart from stealing their daddy and having a child with him. But I don't just cop it from him, it's his mother and sister too. I'm a b*tch and make him neglect his kids, even though he sees them every time they are in the freakin area. I'm at the point where I just wanna take my daughter and walk. Hope things get better for you!!
So they have been banned for
So they have been banned for now, and all I EVER hear from my fiance is "maybe if you were decent from the beginning".
#########
Seriously? :jawdrop:
What a lovely Fiance!
Honestly my response would be "And maybe if you were a decent parent instead of looking for a scape goat this wouldnt have happened. Seeing as thats how you think of me. Move the hell out...see ya...." while chucking his stuff out.
What an absolute weak arsed loser. Next thing you will know he will be telling your DD, when shes old enough to understand, that its cos of Mommy dd doesnt get to have a relationship with her siblings.
He's hopeless with them
He's hopeless with them because he has the guilty dad syndrome. They've NEVER been disciplined and now they're approaching 13 and throw worse tantrums than my 20 month old. Funny you say about throwing his stuff, cos in my fit of rage I started packing his clothes into garbage bags and told him they'll be at the front door waiting when he finishes work today!
Thanks for the advice. They
Thanks for the advice. They only stopped coming here 2 weeks ago because he put his foot down. The twins have never liked that we have a daughter together. They have never made any effort to interact - at my daughter's christening they ran around the church like lunatics and said not a word to anyone. They ignored me and my little girl at her first birthday. My daughter tries to kiss them and they just sit there ignoring her.
His mum only lives around the corner from us, so he sees them when they are here - the live about 2 hrs north of here with their bm. I have told him that he can spend time with them when they are here and I will go and do other things, but he just tells me that it shows that I am not interested. He doesn't parent, he just lets the twins dictate what everyone will do!
i used to try to placate him.
i used to try to placate him. Now it is "damned straight I do - why on earth WOULDN'T I???"
Ms Beans I think your ss had
Ms Beans I think your ss had a lucky escape tbh. I would rethink having him around though, he assaulted his baby sister. Thats not right.
What did your OH say about this?
As for BM "back off b&tch, this is about MY child now. Next time the little scrot even breathes funny near the baby I will ring the police and see if you like having him slapped with an assault charge or worse..."
LOVE the "I feel stuck in the
LOVE the "I feel stuck in the middle." Dumbass - your refusal to set limits put you there. No more sympathy from me on that - done!!! YOU created the problem. YOU fix it!
You just hate my kids You
You just hate my kids
You look for the bad in everything they say/do
You take everything the wrong way
They are just mad because I left their mother (20 years ago)
Give them a chance to get over it
They didn't mean it that way
I didnt hear them say it/do it
Your to sensitive
Are you sure they said/did that I think you imagine things because you don't like them
Why can't you just give them some time (8 years later)
They will come around ( yeah, they might have, one night when I was sleeping and with a baseball bat)
You are the adult here, Mmmmmm Now they were all in their 20s and 30's, so I don't know when they were going to be considered as adults.
And of course the attack on my kids...........What about your kids, you think they are angels.
Everything and anything is thrown at you to make you feel bad and responsible for the fact that DH & BM raised selfish self centered lazy ill mannered spoilt brats with an over inflated sense of entitlement.
I could write a book, then again I wouldn't mind reading the guilty dad handbook because there is surely one out there, then I could have been one step ahead of the game. These guys have the same old song to sing in regards to their precious off spring of whom they expect nothing and get exactly that from them.
I was talking with a friend the other day and we were laughing about guys who have affairs and the same old story they spin to the woman they are having an affair with, we thought there had to be a book out there on what to tell the other woman...........I'm guessing there is a book out there for Guilty dads on how to make your kids SM belief she is going insane and that your kids are great, she is the probem.
Seriously can we all be wrong here.
fdh has pulled the guilt crap
fdh has pulled the guilt crap on me a few times. he has said that no matter what sd does, i will never be happy with her. um, no shit! because everything she was doing at that time was awful! NO fdh, i generally do not find nice things to say about people who are rude, disrespectful, selfish, and hurtful! my bad! :O
i guess it was easier to blame me for being too picky about her behavior than it was to admit that she was a demon spawn. he's learned since then though, and he will be the first to stand up and say that she's selfish and rude. i hope her baby to be acts just like her. and i will laugh my ass off when her relationship ends and she has to deal with other women being around her kid, or a man who has kids that she will have to deal with. either way, it will be a good show!
oh here's a gem. i can't
oh here's a gem. i can't believe i forgot this. sd has no problem holding her hand out and making demands to people about what they need to do for or buy for her. after many holidays and bday with no thank you's being handed out by her, i told fdh about it. she was 16. his defense was that it was just a habit to thank him for everything, not anyone else. :O :?
i told him that at 16, it ought to be "habit" to thank ANYONE who does something for you. no matter how bad her behavior or lack of manners was, he always had an excuse for her. which just makes it more maddening and puts him on my shit list right along with her. i really thought he and sd would both pick a few things up off me over the years (like sending out thank you cards for bday gifts and acknowledging other people's special days, among many other things), but it never happened. to this day, sd19 will rip open a bday card without reading it and just take the money or gift card inside and throw the card away. and she NEVER calls or sends a thank you card to the giver.
And your problem
And your problem is......................your DH has explained it to you, she is in the habit of thanking him and only him (and really he likes it that way, makes him feel special). Modelling "Good Behaviour" does not work on these kinds of people, believe me, it just does not work. When I gave my SD a card some years ago and said we didn't buy a present, what would you like she said nothing, by that I mean she said nothing, didn't say I want this or that she remained speechless, when she got up to leave she left the card on the table and did not take it. Now you and I know why dont we, by telling her we did not buy her anything and is there something she would like, she woke up right away THERE WAS NO MONEY IN THAT CARD, she did not opent the card, she did not say thank you and she to add insult to injury got up and left the card here. I saw her look at the card as she got up, I saw her boyfriend point to the card and say something to her I saw her shake her head NO and walk away. But her daddy said, none of that happened, I just look for trouble with her, she just forgot it. SD was given $3000 towards a car by her grandfather and had to be told to ring him and say thanks, DH and I contributed $3500 towards this car, of course she never thanked me, but she did not even thank DH, it was her birthright to be given a car, and she did nothing but complain for years that she had to pay off the balance of this brand new car....Well she did have to, true but she did not have to order all the extras in the car either and she would not have had such a big loan.
To be fair to her though, she ordered all the extras thinking that daddy would give in
Didn' happen and she got stuck with paying for them. Cheeky bitch. These men will never get it, we do not have any problems with their kids, we have huge, problems with the behaviour of their kids, and we have even bigger problems with our DH's constantly justifying the rude behaviour of their kids and failing to do anything about it, but the biggest problem we have is the lack of support from our DH's and the blaming us for the obnoxious behaviour of their kids (in my case adult kids). Seems the only person responsible for the rudeness and appalling behaviour is SM, not BM, not BD not the kid just the SM. Weird.