Not real pleased about bimbo recognizing DH and talking about BM in front of me like as if they are still married? yuk
So DH and I were out looking at furniture, then we decided to head to a bar/restaurant for a quick bite to eat and drink....
As we walked in the door, the hostess says to my DH......
'Hey I know you.....I know your 2 boys and your wife" 'I was talking to your boys the other day....your BM husband aernt you'?
to which DH reply's
"oh, great you spoke with my kids, I remember you how are you going'? 'Please meet my NEW wife"
WELL...I WAS SPEACHLESS...
I didnt know what to say but Hi,
Then I started to get very annoyed and told DH I could not stay here in this restaurant....Dh didnt seem to understand my attitude.....I said there is no way I want to be here and give that girl the benefit of being able to compare the BM to me...then report back on the situation...and if she so called 'knows you' then why doesnt she know that your ex wife is a leso and you havnt been married for 8 years....?
I walked out the door and he followed....but he was still pissed off with my attitude....OMG....
Wot would you guys have done? like its not as if there isnt other places we could go....Im jsut over walking in that bitches shadow...I NEED TO MOVE AWAY FROM THIS AREA NOW!!!!
Yeah I have that....My DH's
Yeah I have that....My DH's friends never saw him whilst he was married to the bitch....and since me...we always get together,.....
I was bitter bc of another situation that occured after the BM moved out with her GF
She pretented for about 3 -4 years that she was still married to DH due to her requiring support for her lesbian relationship....(she didnt want to look the bad girl in all this) DH went along with this shit by attending many things with her...we were engadged and one of BM's auntie came along with us to our xmas lunch??? WTF???
therefore, I assumed that yet again....my DH was pretending to be still married to her...and in fact....I would have liked if he could have told the girl how he hasnt been married to BM for x amt of years and not introduce me as the NEW WIFE...BUT just wife would have been nice... considering its been nearly 3 years that we have been married and been in love for over 20
Besides the BM is an absolute lunatic who users the skids as pawns in her battle of hate against my DH and all his family.
Ok, well that makes more
Ok, well that makes more sense. After pretending for years to still be married to her (???) and then introducing you that way, I would be annoyed too. I wouldn't be annoyed at the hostess though, I would be annoyed at DH for being an idiot, LOL.
yes...your fn right Im
yes...your fn right Im annoyed at him....
The hostess was just a girl who knows no better....
It was easier to just walk out and find another restaurant. I tried to explain to DH how I felt.... would have got a better reaction off the dog....
I havnt brought the matter up until now....
My DH was subject to abuse from that bitch and still suffers with confidence issues....its really hard living with someone who prefers to play the whimpy dog rather than the boastfull husband with his new wife....
I think you are way
I think you are way overreacting. I know it's annoying but it's not like anyone is trying to hurt you on purpose or that they are sitting there "comparing" you. I wouldn't have done anything, I would have sat there and ate my food and had my drink. I don't really see the big deal here.
I know what you mean....and I
I know what you mean....and I was going to just sit there and eat drink overlook the discussion...but i didnt feel comfortable....just wanted to feel comfortable somewhere else...
whilst waiting for a server to take us to our table...which seemed to be taking for ever....I just whispered to DH....I really dont feel like eating here now...Im a little hurt...can we please just get out of here and go somewhere else...
There are like 50 other restaurants all next door to each other....
we found another one in 5 mins and had a much better time.
I guess I also felt that the BM may also frequent that place....and it wasnt like we WENT there
DH should have said "please
DH should have said "please meet my NEW and IMPROVED wife" before he addressed any other subject IMHO
I feel your embarrassment. Don't feel bad; GG doesn't even blink when someone refers to the Behemoth as his wife. I think HE thinks it's an HONOUR!
And thats propably why I was
And thats propably why I was a little upset.....
the DH had an opportunity to run the BM down or prop me up....he did nothing....except act like the 'nice guy'
I know if someone had of said something to me about my ex and assuming I was still married to the jerk, I would have made it quite clear - in no uncertain circumstances that I was no longer wanting anyone to associate me with him.
As just the thought that someone was thinking I was still married to ex nearly makes me puke!!!!
Which makes me wonder if it obviously does really affect DH in the way he always says it does...That he hates her with a passion....more like he isnt too unhappy to be associated as still being with her after all......GAWD ITS BEEN OVER 8 YEARS!!!! They were only married for 7!!!
^^^^^ That's how my DH and I
^^^^^ That's how my DH and I intro myself to anyone who knew him when he was with MMM (Madame MooMoo). I've actually had people THINK I was HER!! Well, I didn't wait for my DH to even get a chance to say anything I just right in and say "NO, Im not MMM, I'm the NEW and IMPROVED WIFE!" that usually shuts them up really quick. hehe
Wowsers, I think you kinda
Wowsers, I think you kinda overreacted.
I get that being "second" sucks, but to storm out of a restaurant because the waitress new DH??
it wasn't because the
it wasn't because the waitress knew DH it was because she knew him when he was married to BM (or pretending to be married) and was talking about her and him together.
also, liks has a very contentious situation and it just creates bad feelings. if she needed to change restaurants to help calm down and enjoy her evening then why not?
it's not like she made a huge scene and yelled at the waitress or dh and literally stormed away.
she got up and walked away...
Hmmmm. I HATE being compared
Hmmmm. I HATE being compared in ANY way to BM. But I don't think I would have taken it this far. It was surely an honest mistake. If it were me I would have taken it upon myself to throw in the "new and improved" when he introduced me. But that's just the way I am. DH and I have been together for 7 years, I can't tell you how many times people have confused me with that pathetic excuse of a person. It happens.
Actually when we walked in
Actually when we walked in the door....the Hostess didnt even acknowledge me much at all...just made a beeline towards DH....
I remember smirking to myself and thinking hehehe...its an ex GF...and that would have made me smile and I would have stirred him up and we would have had a great time...
but no....
mind you she certainly started starring me up and down whilst we stood there waiting for a table....
the other rumour that the BM spread around this area is that I moved in b4 she moved out....WTF??? That I split up her family....like im a slut...yeah...found this rumour out 6 mths after we had been married....can you believe that???
My husband called me and when I asked what he had been doing in the last 17 years since we last met...his words were...."well ive been divorced now for over 4 years" no further questions....except...what day do you want me to come visit???
try not to blame him. it will
try not to blame him. it will just make him defensive. maybe in a couple days you can discuss a better way for him to introduce you.
it doesn't matter if you "over-reacted" it's how you felt. if that encounter created a reaction in you that made eating there a terrible experience...so what. there are so many other choices. unless dh had his heart set on the THAT particular one, it doesn't matter.
what was your goal? to have a pleasant evening with dh? then pick a different restaurant.
i would have said this to dh if i were thinking straight (which is hard when i'm upset)
dh, would you mind if we ate somewhere else? that conversation made me feel very uncomfortable and i just want to have a great night with you, wink (some reference to the great night not ending so soon). one with no reminders of bm, it just makes my skin crawl. xyz restaurant is down the street...what do you say?
In fact thats about what I
In fact thats about what I did say to him....
'I dont think I want to have a drink in here now' Lets go.....
Dh agreed and we walked outside....then as he is shutting my door....he sort of slammed it off its hinges, which led me to think....HUH?
We only went to this bar/grill/restaurant bc we saw it on the side of the road...so we called in....saying 'this will do' NO PLANS TO VISIT...JUST A SPONTANEOUS DROP IN...
AFTER reading all the comments I really am starting to question my husbands authenticity - like, is he really that annoyed with BM as he says he is...or is he kissing the ground the slag walks on as his family told me he did...
MIND YOU...the woman is the fatest most fugly thing you have eva seen .... ludicrous look about her...and she is a loud ME ME ME person...loves the sound of her own voice
Is it possible that he acts
Is it possible that he acts like he's super annoyed with BM because he thinks that's what YOU want to hear? Men like to please their women, so I think it's in the realm of possible...
If it were my dh I think he'd
If it were my dh I think he'd just feel like here we go again...can't do anything right my past with bm is STILL getting in the way.
Did he get his frustrations out on the door or did he stew all night?
I was going to comment on
I was going to comment on this to say that I would have just sat there and had a great time, so the only thing that could get back to BM is how great you are together.
But then I read the bit about BM & DH pretending to be married... Theres no way I would have put up with that.
My BM tried to do the same thing at the Skids school when they 1st split because they live in a village and she didnt want people to gossip. I hadnt met him yet though and it was clear to everybody that they were over when I came on the scene.
What I will say is I live 30 miles away from where the SKIDS live and I have happily taken them to the playground on the green in their village and intergrated with alot of the other parents from the SKIDS school who all know BM. I enjoy the fact that they see us as a happy family unit and hope that it will dismiss some of the nasty things she has no doubt been saying about us.
Its a tough one, on the one hand that situation on its own would have been an opertunity to show the girl how wrong she was, on the other hand, along with the back story, Id prob be pretty sick of it by now too.
Thanks for you
Thanks for you comments....
DH slammed the door outta frustration....the bitch hurt him bad and he says he is over it...but I REALLY DONT THINK he is ...and yes we do need to move away...but we are strapped for cash and cant do it quickly....DH didnt stew on the incident again at all - especially once I explained my reasons for why...
I really believe if you feel uncomfortable...then just walk out of there....geez imagine if I had had a couple of drinks and got pissed off and full of dutch courage and .... ooohhh noooo cant think of what may have happened....
DH wishes he had never had anything to do with BM and I think he is soooo upset with her continual interference with us that he gets really upset....
the bitch lives in the vacinity of them restaurants we visited....from now on we wont go anywhere near them again....not worth agonising over
Yeah....I
Yeah....I agree....Frieda....
It was Buffalo wild wings....so yeah....pretty much a truck stop....
Was thinking the same thing at the time...now I cant be bothered....
I blame DH going along with the plan of BM to 'pretend' they were still married for a few years after they had got divorced, to be one of the real instigators of such a 'mixup'