Cry me a river 3 year old
I married the most wonderful man in the world last September....BUT along with him is his three and a half year old daughter. He was never married to her mother and in fact they where only together twice and guess what.... well his daughter has progressivly gotten worse with an issue that makes me not want to be around when shes there every other weekend. AS SOON as she walks through the door..."Why do I have to be here" " I wanna see my mommy" I wanna see my Papa" "I wanna see my mouse" she has a pet rat at her mothers...(yuck) anyway, "When can I go home" "Tomorrow, later?" on and on and on the WHOLE weekend! she just sits on her but around the house and doesnt want to do anything, wont play with her toys wont quit complaining if her dad takes her to the park.. she will just start whining and crying at ANY given moment we have tried many different ways to distract her thoughts, explainations, ignoring her and it doesnt matter even if you tell her shes hurting her dads fellings by sayin "I dont like you and dont want to stay here' WHY do I have to stay here, Where is my blanket?" AAAAAGGGHHHH help! Im gonna loose it and so is her dad.
I had this problem with my
I had this problem with my great neice. How long has this been going on? Is it something new or are you just the new one?
I have been with her dad for
I have been with her dad for over two years and she started things like this at two, she will be four in may, at first we figured she really was a terrible two child but it just GREW from there.
I think this is normal for
I think this is normal for her age, especially if BM doesn't parent her.
I'd suggest reading a lot of parenting websites with information on how to deal with three-year-olds and having DH do so as well. Also, there are several women here who have children who are 3 and up. They might be able to give you some helpful advice.
Maybe parenting classes are an option you both might consider. Also, allow her to take some treasured items of hers (like a blanket or stuffed animal) to both homes. That can make her feel better, and give her some stability.
Her BM and her "other Family"
Her BM and her "other Family" as she puts it bby her something awful , if she has her blanket she will just lay around ALL day with her thumb in her mouth and do nothing, we just started having her BM not bring the blanket so she doesnt just sit there sucking her thumb all day. Im not sure what issues are going on at her other home but i do know the BM and her boyfriend get in VERY loud screaming matches, (we witnessed one upon returning her one night after visitation) She stopped throwing her "Walmart" tantrums about 6 months ago now its just turned to the never ending questions about her sad life when staying with us.
I have actually raised 4 of
I have actually raised 4 of my own children already, so this is nothing new to me except her behavior with my childrens D I never faced anything like this, just not sure where to go from here, we are going to try the time out thing this weekend and see how it goes.
We actually had pretty good
We actually had pretty good luck with the time out it took 4 times before she realized that it was not fun...on Sunday the next day she was back to her old self again playing with her toys and running around like a normal child. I guess the "Time Out" is her boundary and now she knows we know it! Thank you for the suggestion!
NO its NOT her dad, WE have
NO its NOT her dad, WE have both tried to let her know (in many ways) that her whining about What she wants is not acceptable, but after shes out of time out or her room its right back the the broken record again,she did get a swat once for throwing a tantrum about putting on her pajamas and kicking her dad but we explained what happened to her BM and within 1/2 hr after we left she took her to the ER and called the police and CPS for the "spanking" we both just dont know what else to try...
When my great neice did that
When my great neice did that all I would say when she said wanted to see her dad was "you will see him sunday." I must have repeated that to her at least 50 times one visit, then 30 then 20 then 5 and now she doesnt say anything at all. I know her dad was prompting her to do this. He does not like me bc i gave his wife (my neice)a place to stay when she left him. She was 3 and now she doesn't say anything at all. And I would always say it with a happy face. I don't know why but it worked. I had my dh, dd and sd repeat this to her all the time. I din't just say it when she was really going back on sunday, i just always said the same day not to confuse her. Now she calls me from her dads and asks if she will come to my house on Sunday! LOL. Just try it. The first week of this is terrible and my DH would get upset. I told him she just wanted to be heard and to know she was going home and it calmed him down so she was able to calm down to. i hope this helps I really know how that feels to be so nice to a kid and give them all of your attention and have them ask for someone you cant stand instead. It will get better, just keep trying.
Thank you, we will try it,
Thank you, we will try it, couldnt hurt anything at this point!
My ss was 18 months when DH
My ss was 18 months when DH and I started getting him. (DH also didn't know he had a son) SO my ss would cry the whole 1hr drive from ss house to ours. ( we lived and hour away and drove to get him and bring him to our house for the weekend 2 hr round trip.)
After we arrived home ss was usally ok some times ss would cry because he missed home. Being consent with what you say is the only thing I can think of. Keeping her busy may help too. It sad because it makes you wonder whats going on there (at her other home) that she feels the need to go back. My ss hated being without his halfbothers. SS came to live with us when he was 5yrs full time. SS had a hard time not being around other kids. SS is my DH only child and mine are grown. SS has been with us 2 yrs now and 90% of the time all is good. I wish you luck.
Yes thank you , I have 4
Yes thank you , I have 4 children of my own but all are grown and moved out..I do not look forward to the weekends she is at our home and unfortunatly neither does her dad, I kept telling him she would grow out of it but instead it has just morphed into other things. sighhh. Even Grama had to take her back home early once because it was too much for her, when she is told to clean her room and ger her shoes, she knows shes going back then she hops around the house being silly and all happy because she finally got what she wanted. I just dont understand it, our home is very nice very clean she has her own room and nice toys, that she just ignores. I have tried coloring with her and she just sits there and pouts, tried teaching her to write her name or draw shapes, (she cannot do this she just scribbles) but she isnt interested.
My 3 yr old daughter is
My 3 yr old daughter is nothing like that. Very happy, loving, fun, ect. But its came naturally to her but she was a brat from 2-3 and when put an end to that. Disapline and consistency. Time out every time she asks one of those questions, whines, acts up. And I mean every time. Warn her twice and on the third time she goes in the corner. If she talks back, doesn't stay, add time. Take the t.v. and anything she likes away. Start having her help around the house. It teaches her independence and what better time to start at a young age?? Play lots of productive games. Clean up, coloring, anything with learning. Always encourage, love and parent. It takes time and a lot of work but she can get better if you two put in the work.
My 5yo SD does same thing.
My 5yo SD does same thing. "when can I go to BM or grandmas house" cries whines and screams for them. It hurts H feelings and he tries to discipline her but ends up trying to buy her love. I don't put up
With that mess. I tell her how it is that she splits her time with her parents half and half and I pretty much blame it on BM because she is lazy, irresponsible and hard to get ahold of. We pretty much take care of her, BM never buys her new clothes or toys, never takes her to dr, it's rediculous because BM mom is always taking care of her yet SD always cries for BM and we are stuck saying sorry we can't get ahold of her and she can't get you right now. Agh stepchildren!