Bought myself a Tiffanys bracelet for xmas.....AND THE CHIRPING BEGINS!!!
Gonna vent again!!!
BF has two kids, boy who is 3 and girl who is 4. They aren't my steps since we do not live together but I still go out of my way for them.
OK....I got a nice bonus this year from my boss. Which I am proud of cause in my department, no one gets bonuses unless you work ABOVE AND BEYOND what they work. So not only did I get some spending dough, but my hard work did not go un-noticed.
I bought myself a Tiffany's bracelet in celebration of ME. As soon as I wore it over at his grandma's place, his female friend noticed (the one with the big mouth who pressuring me to move in with him???). After admiring it she proceeds to say says, 'So what did you get the kids for xmas.' I say I got them clothes (old navy) and a couple toys for each. She says, 'You should get those american dolls for SD.' (American dolls are like $200). I say, 'Well I finished my xmas shopping for them already and really those dolls are overpriced and SD would not take care of them.' She says, 'OH....well you got a good bonus didn't you? I guess I thought you wouldn't cheap out on your BF's kids. I think every kid deserves a nice gift. Order them, I'll give you the website.' I said, 'I am putting the rest of my bonus in savings.' She says, 'It's $200!!!! You bought YOURSELF a Tiffanys bracelet but you can't splurge on a 4 year old girl??' I got quiet after that.
She bought her 6 yr old daughter a Pandora bracelet....so yea...
She has 4 kids and is a stay at home mom, and says whats on her mind. But I guess she is supermom?? I uestion myself a lot cause she IS a good mom. She spent $3,000 on her daughters 1st b-day party recently, so she is good at providing for her kids etc. And justified it by saying, 'I believe every kid should have a big birthday party.' But she seems to think it's a necessity. Hence I question myself when she is around cause she knows it all. Her hubby makes $100K per year and girlfriend spends it like none other.
But don't freaking tell me how I should spend my money!! And she assumes that cause I make bank I should afford these no problem. Ummm I have savings and zero debt and like to watch my savings grow.
Like we were at the mall a couple weeks ago and says, 'Get the kids GAP sweaters!! I believe every kid should have a GAP sweater!!' Good grief...
Her husband buys her all kinds of jewelry, etc as well. He makes bank creating Apps for Ipod....though I cannot imagine that job is gonna last long. I rather buy my own jewelry.
GOOD FOR YOU!... You deserve
GOOD FOR YOU!... You deserve to treat your self. You earned it.
As for the children, I think along the same lines as you do, are the children responsible enough to take care of what they are given... Most of the time that answer is no. So... they get what they can take care of, or destroy... either way...
YOU ARE NOT A STEP PARENT. WHAT THE HELL MAKES THIS BITCH THINK YOU ARE OBLIGATED TO DO A DAMN THING FOR THOSE CHILDREN. AT LEAST YOU WERE CONSIDERATE ENOUGH AND BOUGHT THEM SOME THING FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!
Sorry... I think you have done the right thing all the way around. Just because this person has the opportunity to sit on her ass all day and take care of her children, does not mean she has the right to dictate or pressure any one into her beliefs...
Keep doing what you are doing and ignore the psycho!!
It doesn't make you a good
It doesn't make you a good step or bio by spending a ton of money! That lady sounds like she has her priorities all screwed up. Of course we get our kids presents but birthdays/holidays are more about spending time together, not a spending pissing contest. Don't make any excuses for your bracelet- YOU DESERVE AND EARNED IT! I'm not going to pretend I'm not jealous tho!
What does it look like?
You are way nicer to her than
You are way nicer to her than I would ever be... I would have gone ape shit on her ass. If she can afford to spend 3K on a birthday party and EVERY child deserves a nice expensive, ridiculous gift, then She needs to fork over the 200$ for the doll that is Ahem, NOT AGE APPROPRIATE anyway. The SD is 4? American Girl dolls come with all kinds of tiny choking hazard accessories. Not to mention that the thousands of accessories are also freaking expensive and breakable. Not a gift for a 4 year old. Not even close.
And the next time she wants to comment, tell her how you spend your money is none of her business. You aren't "cheaping out" on gifts for children that aren't even yours - you're giving them gifts and oh yea, you aren't mom or dad. Anything from you should be considered pure icing on the Christmas cake.
BTW, spending 3K on a party instead of putting that into a college account for the kid isn't being a good mom IMHO, it's being financially irresponsible and teaching her children bad habits and leaving them unprotected and unprepared for the future. Follow Your instinct, it sounds like you've got some good ones and tell this Stupid woman to butt the hell out of your life. She's just flat out being a bitch.
LOL you got to laugh,
LOL you got to laugh, spending $1000 on a one year old's birthday doesnt make her a wonderful mother, it makes her a mother who throws money at her children. Look I have nothing against people who have money and can afford to buy things for their children, that most people cant, but I do have a personal problem with people who buy ridiculous stuff which is NOT age appropriate for kids AND who preach to others about what they should/shouldnt purchase for their own family.
I am wondering who this woman thinks she is, telling you to buy this and that. Even if you were married to your bf, she has ZERO right to TELL you, make snide remarks and nose into your personal finances. If you want to spend your entire bonus on yourself, then do it. Its YOUR money and the difference is you dont have a rich husband to fall back onto if the shit hits the fan, so I think saving some is really sensible.
Personally, in your shoes I would be informing bf what a bitch this woman is - making inappropriate remarks over your money and how to spend it, and that if she does it again you will be telling her to mind her own business, and will be suggesting to her that she gets job seeing as she has too much time to think about other people's lives....oh thats right, she doesnt EARN her money, she spends her husbands! Stupid bint. (as a side note, atm I am not working and my husband is supporting us, so have nothing against SAHM).
So something like - smile nicely and pleasantly say: Well my bonus is my own concern and no one elses. Its lovely you bought that, but I personally dont think that is an age appropriate present and am sure sd will be happy with what I bought. She is a sweet child who appreciates all her gifts, regardless how much is spent, because after all xmas is about thought and family time - not a price tag. Besides which as you know I am responsible for my own bills, so have no fall back if anything goes wrong, so have to apply sense when spending...."
She can take what she wants from that, she was rude in what she said to you and stepped over the line. I would be strongly discouraging her from this avenue because I doubt she will stop. Those types dont i.e. the God complex, especially when they are looking down from their ivory towers onto us mere minions below doing their bidding! }:)
BTW $200 is a stupid sum of money to spend on a doll! Esp for a 4 year old, you are completely right in saying a 4 year old wouldnt be old enough to look after something so expensive. Shes too young. This "friend" is the type who buys their children expensive stuff and whose kids lose and break their stuff because 1) they are usually too young to be responsible for this type of stuff 2) are so spoilt they dont look after their things and know mommy will replace it anyway, so no biggie!!
Stop questioning yourself.
Stop questioning yourself. You aren't doing anything wrong.
It's funny that the friend is spending like she's loaded. 100K is not a lot of money for a family of 6.
It was the Tiffany's toggle
It was the Tiffany's toggle charm bracelet with the signature lock on it "Please Return to Tiffanys & Co." about $400. But I love this bracelet, every WOMAN deserves a Tiffanys bracelet IMHO.
Yes she drains the bank accounts like none other. They saved $20,000 for xmas shopping alone!!!! One year her husband was out of work and they drained his retirement account just to stay above waters. This woman is a spendthrift!
And the way she spends on her kids. Her 6 yr old has a pandora bracelet, american dolls, gets her nails done every month, etc. And I am sure she will get a Tiffany bracelet at some point.
She just made me feel selfish. Like I was bing a spendthrift. If I bring up her spending habits she will flip out on me and make me feel small.
Not sure if her daughter is going to value Pandora or Tiffanys for what it is. I am a grown woman who has worked her ass off, I think I deserve a little spoilage so I bought one.
I don't know WHY she is pressuring me! She claims it is cause she loves the kids like they are her own and anyone coming into their life better be treating them right, hence she thinks they deserve things like American Dolls, etc. She made me feel like a cheap ass "mom" so to speak?? Ugh....
Part of me thinks she wishes she had my life, no kids, successful career, living on my own....she has even told me she never thought she'd be at home raising kids 6 years ago. She imagined she would own a loft downtown, travel around the world, living great. But she made her choices.
She bitches to me CONSTANTLY that she has no help with her own kids. Her MIL doesn't help her as much as she thinks she should.
Because she's a nosy jealous
Because she's a nosy jealous bitch who puts herself in people's business that she shouldn't since she's unhappy with her life. I would never be around this woman.
Now I'm super jealous! LOL
Now I'm super jealous! LOL Seriously, I think her problem has very little to do w/ you and a lot to do with her own insecurities. I know you're friendly with her but you might want to distance yourself from someone so materialistic. Enjoy you're bracelet! And if you ever get tired of it let me know!
I am so over this woman
I am so over this woman already and I don't even know her! Don't listen to any of her bullshit. You are not their stepmother, they have a mother and a father to buy them Christmas gifts. And obviously she has no problem spending money considering her husband is doing all the work! My DH and I both work and we make well above $100K a year, but we worked hard for our money, we don't want to work for the rest of our lives and we don't believe in handing kids everything on a silver platter. Are we bad parents? Nope. Do we still love our kids? Yep. By being cheap are we going to be able to enjoy an early retirement and possibly even have second careers doing something we really enjoy? Absolutely.
Also, I have that same bracelet and it's gorgeous. Congrats on the great work and the bonus!
I would tell that woman to
I would tell that woman to mind her own business.....what you buy for xmas presents is a secret....and nothing to do with her...
She is a shocking display of a female bitch that sounds Jealous
She is pathetic. Don't listen
She is pathetic. Don't listen to her. Every bonus I ever got, I made sure and buy something just for me. One year it was a new car, next an oriental rug and yes, I like jewelry. Some of my most treasured things are things I splurged on for myself....You go girl and have fun doing it. As for the American Girl doll, bought one for my SD one year because we were up near the store. Know where it is now? In a box in the attic...Really worth the $200.
I would find someone new to hang out with. I am married to DH and I only spend what I want on Christmas for SS. Nothing for SD. My BS gets more because he is mine. DH's kids have two parents to get gifts from....Plenty of stuff. It is not your responsibility to spend your hard earned money on your BF's kids...
AGree on the American Girl
AGree on the American Girl doll. DH bought one for SD9 for her birthday in February because she HAD to have it. I haven't seen the damn overpriced doll since.
i think i would've told her,
i think i would've told her, well, YOU buy it then, since you think it's so damn important!
Oh my god, I hate that woman.
Oh my god, I hate that woman. First of all, what in the hell is your husband friends with someone like that for. DO NOT question yourself because of her. Spending $3K for a one year old's birthday party is GROSS. That does NOT make anyone a good mother, and in fact, she is doing a serious disservice to those kids who will always expect a ridiculous amount of money for nothing (imagine their poor future husbands and wives!).
If I were you I would tell her to kiss my ass, how I spend my money is my own business, but that's just me.
I don't know how you can stand to be around that woman, I would refuse. She sounds awful.
Good for YOU for your bonus and you are an adult who can spend your money however you choose.
A 3 and 4 year old would be happy with a cheap stuffed animal, some blocks, and a big cardboard box and crayons. They don't need all that crap. It's just going to make them materialistic little brats.
The best present you could give your bf's kids is to take them to one of those Make A Wish type of trees, have them each pick a tag, and take them shopping for a little present for a child who has NOTHING. Now that is being a good "mom".
Wow. Really? What a
Wow. Really? What a crock.
Don't you doubt yourself, and don't for a second think she's a "great mother" just because she SPOILS her child. Spending lots of money does NOT equal good parenting. Tell that nosy rosy to mind her own. When the kids are old enough to make their own money and buy themselves nice things, they'll appreciate it that much more because it wasn't just handed to them their whole lives.
This chick sounds kinda
This chick sounds kinda whacko. Who spends $ like that on little kids? Not me, that's for sure. You are not in the wrong here. Your money, your choice. You owe your bf's kids nothing. You got them something nice, so tell what's-her-butt to shut her trap about your life.
It's money. The amount you
It's money. The amount you spend on your BF's kids (or even step or bio kids for that matter) is not a gauge for how much you care for them or what they deserve. It's a gift. They'd probably go just as nuts over a cheap bag of candy as they would some $200 doll. That woman needs to mind her own business. GO YOU!!!
Anyone who spends $3000 on a
Anyone who spends $3000 on a kids party has just lost all credibility with me when it comes to knowing anything about anything. With 6 kids 100k ain't shit especially if the wife is pissing it away like water. I don't make quite that much but I am single no kids on my dime anymore and I still have to watch what I spend. But I also get MYSELF something with my bonus and being single now I won't have anyone else to confiscate the rest.
Tell the SIL to shove her dolls where the sun don't shine. She will be misreable when she is broke. She sounds like she is one big event away from being that way at anytime.
Unbelievable nerve of people.
Unbelievable nerve of people. FMIL actually had the nerve to ask if FDH & I were sharing expenses and how we were managing our money. I make more than he does so she was incinuating that I should pay his debts. I told her that how I or HE manager OUR money is NONE of her business and I would NOT be sharing that with her. And that I was very offended that she thought she had the right to even delve into my personal affairs! FDH practically fell out of his chair. He said no one has ever put her in her place before and he was never prouder of me.
The nerve of people.
"It's $200!!!! You bought
"It's $200!!!! You bought YOURSELF a Tiffanys bracelet but you can't splurge on a 4 year old girl??' "
Seriously, that bitch would piss me off.
Response: Since when is my money your business? Back off I'm not a substitute mommy.
I would not be around this woman ever. She is too far in yours and BF's business. There is a huge boundary issue here.
Your "friend" is ignorant and
Your "friend" is ignorant and since she believes in speaking her mind-I guess I would too. I'd just tell her you think it is ridiculous to spent that amount of money on a child and you dont believe in spoiling children with material goods as you feel it causes them to be superficial and empty when they grow up. Of course, smile sweetly while you say all this.
Or is you really want to be more diplomatic you could simply say, "My boyfriend does such a great job of providing for his children. So I always stay out of it and let him make those sorts of decisions"