O/T really upset with DH
DH and I have been nonstop fighting for over 2 weeks now. Today he accepted the friend request I sent him over a month ago on FB. His page does NOT say he is married, he deleted all of our wedding photos and even commented on a pretty blonde saying "Wow! Looking good ;)". I'm devastated and he thinks I am being stupid. He is so secretive about what he does on the computer, well about everything in general. I never get a lookin good comment. I don't get any comments. Well, that's a lie. Yesterday I got my best attribute was being angry. He also has negative comments about DD and about how our DS is going to be just like her bc of me. I guess I really wish I would just gather up the strength to leave. His default FB pic is of him and SS from 3 years ago...He has almost 100 friends and less than 10 are males. I feel so unimportant to him, unloved and unattractive. I can feel this bad about myself, my parenting and my life ON MY OWN!
how long have u guys been
how long have u guys been married?
Oh, man... it soundsl like
Oh, man... it soundsl like there's a lot more going on here...
What are the main problems in your relationship? I'm thinking he's just using FB as a passive-aggressive way to get at you.
Ugh, I seriously dislike
Ugh, I seriously dislike modern technology sometimes.
I am so sorry, this sounds terrible. I am with OV, what were you guys fighting about to begin with? Does he have a history of cheating? I don't think you are being stupid. I believe these are valid complaints. There is a level of respect to each others spouse that needs to be maintained on these social sites. He is clearly overstepping them.
We will be married 2 years in
We will be married 2 years in a week. He has had "friendships" that were hidden from me but to what extent they were, I will never know. He told me that men and women shouldn't be friends basically out of respect for their spouse. I reluctantly agreed and then he sprouts up with these friendships and says he hid them from me bc he knew I would be upset. We are fighting over everything right now. Just non stop about anything that happens. We decided a long time ago not to be friends on FB bc sometimes he got upset or took my status's the wrong way. I wanted to add him again bc we were kinda hitting a mini rough patch and I wanted him to know/see what I was doing and thinking so he would be more comfortable with us. He didn't want to add me until now...for what reason? I dk. Yesterday, he didn't delete the history on the computer (which he ALWAYS does) and I saw a bunch of pictures of a pretty blonde he was checkin out and then today another pretty blonde he commented on. BTW, I'm a brunette! Our main problems are everything. He doesn't get along with my DD, he thinks I hate SS, he thinks I'm teaching DS to be...well I don't know exactly but nothing good. The one friendship that was hidden, he promised me he would never talk to her again when I found out about it. Then last week, I found her number secretly hidden in the "memo" section on his phone. He then told me he continued to talk to her until she ended the friendship. I love him, I really do...not sure why at this point. He makes it known how replaceable I am to him and how he was happier with his ex (baby mama). This whole marriage apparently sucks but it really hurts to know he just deleted the happiest day of our lives of FB without a second thought.
((Big Hug)) to ya, girl. I've
((Big Hug)) to ya, girl. I've got one of those "challenging" husbands too. The hardest thing about having a partner you can't trust is just that: you will drive yourself crazy trying to figure him out, or attempt to make him mend his ways. I think the more you delve? The more insane it becomes. You question everything they do and you feel sick because you just can't trust them. My DH & I have only been married since April and I can tell you this: we're in counseling with a therapist, I'm here on Step Talk at least twice a day(I love this site!) and Lord knows, I've got a million subscriptions in my emails on how to resolve my conflicts and save my marriage, and blah blah blah. I finally said to myself and I said it out loud to DH. "I love you very much; I hate what you did as you've lied about so many things in the past. I feel that you're a bigger mess than I am; and you know what? You're a grown man; you know right from wrong. I've given you no reason to lie or not trust me, but guess what? I don't care anymore. You know I love you; but I don't care one way or the other what happens to you. You want to be with your BM or the Cow? I don't care. Let me know one way or the other, because guess what? I don't want to waste yours, mine, the therapist's time and YOUR money." We are attempting to work on our marriage.
Perhaps it is time to have the conversation with your SO.. DH & I have been through the face book crap; I've had to call him out on so many different levels & I explained it to him, he too can be replaced. And you know what? Things have changed slowly but surely and the true test is coming soon. Don't get me wrong; I never thought I'd marry again especially after the last one! I was content being single, dating, & having fun. I do enjoy the companionship of my husband; but it won't be the end all of my life. I don't know what to tell you other than; this shall pass.
If your SO is that damned nasty, please respect yourself enough and know you are a wonderful person & deserve to be loved, respected and honored by your SO. Keep us up to date. Sending you good vibes and prayers!
{{{{hugs}}}}
{{{{hugs}}}}