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stepdaughter in contral of daddy

monet30's picture

where too start June I will be married a year, but have only lived with my husband 4 months and 3 weeks. 3 weeks after we where married my stepdaughter went off on me in a way I could not belive and what was bad part dad never stopped her she was just turning 17 at the time and she ran the house and let me know it, I moved out did not move back in till Dec, he said he would make her respect me ect ect. Things change for a short time then the old stepdaught came out again. This girl has done everything she can to keep me out of the house from hiding nude pics of old gf just where I would find them. But dad never sees these things and never can belive she would do these things. She is now 18 and moved out the day she left was more drama cusing me telling me to go to h###
and more her dad did ask her to go on and live this time not stoppping her, in past evertime she said she was leaveing he would beg her to stay. This girl has so much contral over her dad its not funny, and he cant see it. His on Mom told him if we ever part she would know why.She knows how to play her Dad. And very good at it.She came back 2 weeks ago to get some of her things mind you this are thing from when she was small child things she did not get the last 2 time she came to get her things, she came in the house and before me or her dad could stop her trashed her old room.
I say she needs help he says just let her vent on us and she will go on. HELP!!!!
}:)

monet30's picture

she was here at home alot when daddy was at work had time to find anything she wanted, and yes some before I said I do, but he could not belive she was doing it ,but this is a man that had a room full of pics and things from old gf that has been gone for 5 years, that should has sent up a red flag right then, I think he is scared of her, she is always right and Im wrong. His x wife told him he needed to grow a set when it comes to the daughter.

monet30's picture

She has only lived with her dad 3 year because her mom could not deal with her, her mom said it was the last straw when the daughter slaped her, she has tried to make me hit her more time than I can count so she can have me jailed. And yes she wonts to come back but not till I leave.She is daddy little girl for sure, she text and tells him she has nothing to live for, that she will never like me, and now she has told her dad that it will be his fault when she kills herself. The x told me she has used this before, before I came into pic. My husband bother killed himself , so she knows what buttons to push.

monet30's picture

we have all be to cancleing,sd daughter stopped said it was not doing her any good, Im still going alone and with my husband whan he can, though our church. But I have told him she needs med and real help.His answer like what she did to her old room just let her vent it out and she will be ok.And in the mean time I have a 14 year old that loves his step dad and tries so had to make him happy, and husband cant understand why my son locks hes bedroom when he goes to school each day , I have had to change to lock on the house due to my husband is on the road all week.

purpledaisies's picture

I agree your sd is being allowed to treat him and you this way by your dh. He needs to get a handle on his ADULT child! If not you need decide if you can live the rest of your life like this. good luck

Shannon61's picture

Time to bring this trainwreck into the station. She needs help, plain and simple. The girl needs to get a life and get out of daddy's lap and he needs to stop kissing her A!@!@ and making excuses for her behavior. She also needs counseling and it sounds like BM and your DH dropped the ball on this.

If she's telling DH she's going to commit suicide (knowing that DH's brother did the same), it shows the level of maliciousness she's capable of, and shows how low she's willing to stoop to get daddy's attention. She's sick.

Do not allow her to move back in under any circumstances, and if DH wants to, leave them there together. If she comes over starting trouble while he's away, call the cops so they can lock her up. . that will give her a reality check. If things get worse, get an order of protection to keep her away from you and your son. You shouldn't have to put up w/her BS.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. DH and BM need to figure out a way to get her the counseling that she so desparately needs.

monet30's picture

He belives everything she says, like when she moved out I cleaned her room I found bags of empty beer cans and vodka bottle when he ask her were they hers she said no they were her friends and he belived this, even the canceler we go to said he was living in a dream world, dh told canceler said she never lied,or drank and always did what she was told till I came along, and the cancler said congrats your the first parent I know that has a perfect child!!! Now he does not want to go back to cancler.I dont know what to do Im the bad guy to the whole famliy because she does not live here anymore.

purpledaisies's picture

I just heard on a court show from the judge herself said this after she was asked a question about an adult step child and how her dh was giving money and pretty much paying for everything for her.

The judge said "It has nothing to do with step parents or step kids but a parent thing, It is the a parents job to REQUIRE their adult children to take care of themselves and to stop enabling them!"

monet30's picture

That is what I think also, he has made me out the bad guy in all this, to him it has all be my fault.I can see helping your kids out some but she wants a new car now she has a car that she has wrecked 2 times in the last month, I think she is doing it so dad will go on and get her a new car, she does not get it we cant afford it at this time,but she keeps asking and she knows he to play it, like she asked him to go look at a car for her he said he would but could not help pay for it now, she said well maybe i can on my own. She works 2 part time jobs and only gos to school 3 hours a day because she is felling her sr year, the school has sent her to a special school so he might can graduate.

monet30's picture

WELL she gratuated I was not allowed to go dh said it was her day and it would piss her off if I went, I could go but could not sit with him, and they were going out to eat later and was told no on from the xs side of fam would be there well they all went, she had her way again dividing her dad and me , but he does not see it that way just hates me and did not want me there. She is such a drama queen dh bd was this passed sat, his mom cooked luch and she was invited toshe got there first and when I walked into the room she said I just cant do it have have to leave she sould not sit at the same table with me, so she goes to leave and dh trys to talk her into staying just whay she wanted , I walked out side thinking she had left NO still trying to get her point across to dear old dad and he got made at me for coming out there ( you cant let me have 5 min with my dd) she was loving it, so we went in she left and it was on for the rest of the afternoon once agin she got wht she wante!!!! when does it STOP!!!!!! The control !!!!!

bridge's picture

I hate to tell you this but you are asking for a life of hell if you continue to put up with this. Speaking from my own experience...my SO's daughter is 28 years old and he still puts her before me even though we've been together over ten years.
It will NEVER change!!!
Trust me and leave before you get walked on anymore....
It saddens me to be in a similar situation, but remember it's NOT your fault!!!!!!!!!
Don't take it personally, just know that you won't get your needs met by staying in
this mess.
Now if only I could follow my own advice.
TAke care.

bridge's picture

Nothing infuriates me more than the way my boyfriends daughter gives him photo albums every birthday, christmas, father's day, etc...Full of pics of the two of them, their family together and maybe one lousy one of me in it...not near her father. In fact, there is not one pic. of me and her Dad together in Any of the albums she has given him. It is just so so obvious she hates me and he doesn't even give a shit. I am beginning to detest him for it, and realize I DESERVE BETTER>
the fact that he allows her to come between us is proof that he loves her more and will always resent me for not kissing her ass.
I am wondering what to do next.
Please pray for me.

alwaysanxious's picture

Ask DH if he would stay with you, if you allowed your family to treat him the way she treats you.