Financial responsibilities

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I have two children of my own ages 23 and 17 with 3 stepchildren ages 23, 17 and 14. My step children have three different fathers who have joint custody and share financial responsibility for the minors. My wife doesn't work with was a joint decision so I do not have any issues with her not working because it is her choice to work or not.

Is it right for me to deny my biological children certain things because I can't afford to do the same for the three step children? I often find myself having to justify spending money on my children. My wife feels that if I buy an expensive item for my children then I should do the same for hers even thought they have Dads who buys them things. My stepchildren are well taken care of by both households so I don't feel that since they have Dads who help support them and can buy them things I should not have to feel guilty or deny my children of things I would buy them if I wasn't married or still married to their Mom.

Can someone please offer so advice.

As long as you don't throw it

As long as you don't throw it in your Skids faces I think it is fine to buy your children things they don't get. They have parents that can buy them things you have a right to buy for children to. Don't feel guilty and don't deprive your children things you want to give them, they deserve the same from you whether you are married or single, heres the goldan rule......if you were single would you feel guilty if you bought them what your buying them? If not and if it is not exorpatent all the time then do it and tell her that her kids have fathers and you are not it.

Never feel guilty for buying

Never feel guilty for buying your bio kids things you want them to have.

She needs to get a job.

Their dads are already paying CS and buying extras. It's not right to ask them to do more If mom want her kids to have more stuff, then she needs to provide it. She can work part time to have fun money for her and the kids.

If they were much younger, I

If they were much younger, I could see it being an issue, but her kids are all old enough to understand the situation. I'm with you on this one!!

Does your wife get defensive

Does your wife get defensive when one of the biodads buys something for his child but not the others? Does she tell him he can't unless he does for all?

I'm pretty sure the answer to that is No.

I used to be pretty in-tune with that whole situation. But then I started thinking -- my SK's have 2 households, here and their mom's. My kids have this one only (biodad is deceased). It's my responsibility to take care of my children, and buy them the things they need and also some of the things they want. They can't run to the "other house" and get stuff there.

My DH pays CS PLUS (willingly) HALF of everything else (EC's, a lot of clothing, etc), of which my kids do not benefit from. So his kids make out. I don't feel one iota of remorse if I go buy my kids things and don't buy any for his.

You should NOT feel guilty

You should NOT feel guilty for buying ur bio kids stuff you can't buy ur skid. Yes you are their sfather but you are not obligated to provide them with gifts. I could understand if their biodad wasn't supporting them, then you would probably do it. But its not fair for them to get gifts from you & their biodad but your kids are only getting stuff from you, so your not wrong if you dont buy them something every single time you geet your kids something.