SD (27) miserable about moving day
As most of you know, my SD (27) is moving out soon, after causing me hell for the past few years. I recently asked her if she were excited about decorating her new place. She said she wasn't. I don't know a woman alive who doesn't love decorating especially her first real apartment. I couldn't wait to match color schemes, textures, etc. She also didn't tell us anything about the apartment until the other day. Also, SD hasn't told any of DH's family that she's moving. How many of you told everyone you knew about moving into your first apartment? You were happy, excited and full of eager anticipation of just getting the keys in your hands and opening the door that first day.
Bottom line, SD doesn't want to move and if she tries to put this in my lap, and give it the "I moved out because Shannon didn't make me feel welcome there" spin, I'm going to unleash my wrath. She's clearly bitter because I am the wife, the queen and I run this house. She finally gets that there isn't room for both of us and it's going to be my way . . no f!@!@ exceptions. She foolishly underestimated my influence on DH. So now she's walking around looking sad and pathetic as her move day approaches.
I truly don't think I could have survived her being here another year. Why do these coddled adults think they're supposed to stay home forever like it's normal and that leaving the nest as an adult is some how abnormal?
Finally, since SD lived w/us from day one, I feel like I've been robbed of the joy of truly bonding w/DH right after we got married. Had it not been for SD and her BS, DH and I would be closer. I hope we can recapture that.
Well it's pretty obvious
Well it's pretty obvious she's putting this on for her daddy. She figures if she mopes around long enough daddy will step in and say "oh it's ok, you don't have to move out". She's also trying to make you feel guilty as well. Bulls@#t! Just ignore this crap that she's pulling and the next time she mopes just put a positive spin on things regardless of what she says to you. If she says she's not looking forward to being on her own, just tell her "oh, I'm positive you'll love it once you get used to it. You'll love the freedom of doing whatever you want without me and your dad cramping your style."
Just keep it positive regardless of what she has to say, don't let her even THINK you may be softening up on this. She needs to go!
Don't let her succeed in
Don't let her succeed in making you feel bad. This cuckoo should have flown years ago. I hope you and your husband make the most of your soon to be intimate alone time.
Keeping everything crossed
Keeping everything crossed for you that it all goes well !!! I just about got through 5 days of SD21 and I was counting it down from the minute she came through Arrivals !!!! I've now left the country to sort out all this red tape problem with My Visa, but I had to wash and empty the Sd21's guestroom before I left, full of crumbs, biscuits and food wrappers and that was just 3 days worth !!! Even DH said she must be lying about being clean and tidy now, as her room looked a pit, bed clothes on the floor, wet towels, empty stuff thrown around, he also said her Hotel room, when we were away on the City Break was just totally messy, so much so she hung the DoNotDisturb out to stop Maid Service !!! Yukkkk !!!
I never want to see that mess again, or her yukky habits !! Hah !! Keep us informed, we want to hear all the details of this terrible time ( for her, ginormously happy for YOU!!)
I'm happy for you Shannon61!!
I'm happy for you Shannon61!! Be prepared for DH to deal with "guilt" and pity for SD21 and hopefully she won't be able to manipulate him and convince him to let her move back! Speaking from experience, boundaries will still need to be set with DH and SD21 no matter where she lives. Sounds like she doesn't want to grow up, but with your help and persistence, she has no choice. DH will still deal with the "empty nest" syndrome to a certain degree but hopefully, he can get past that and concentrate on you! Best of luck to you and DH for starting a "new" beginning in your marriage.
Let's see, are you Glenda the
Let's see, are you Glenda the good witch, or Little Red Riding hood? When did you become the moral barometer?
Why not ask her something like that? It's because of backward logic like yours that she's a pathetic excuse for an adult, still trying to cling to daddy's nuts. What is she disabled now? She should have been gone long ago. I'm not going to be rude, but I will get my point across. How pathetic are you to not want to live on your own and be excited about a new chapter in your life? Now she can learn to clean up behind her own nasty ass, because I'm sick of it.
She's lucky, the old Shannon would have given her a change of address packet, planned a move-out party for me and my friends for the night before, and laughed in her face every chance I got. I'll wish her the best so she doesn't leave on bad terms, but in no way will I make her feel she's welcome to stay. Just a second, I'm going to get the champange out of the basement and leave it on the kitchen table.
And the one thing you forgot, was that she caused the trainwreck in the back story. She can't even live with her BM, but I'm supposed to be sypathetic about her rite of passage in moving out? Not happening. You're acting like she's having a kidney removed or something! Ridiculous!
Indeed. That's her problem.
Indeed. That's her problem. DH has coddled her, kissed her behind, and treated her like a child. So she still behaves like a child. I truly think she's going to need counseling down the road.
I didn't see anything wrong
I didn't see anything wrong with it either. Who wouldn't be excited? It's not like I asked her when her flight for Kuwait leaves. Good grief!
"Why do these coddled adults
"Why do these coddled adults think they're supposed to stay home forever like it's normal and that leaving the nest as an adult is some how abnormal?"
I cannot understand this, either. When I was the ages of my boyfriend's children (18,19,22), I was working full-time and attending college full-time. His kids do not want to work, and seem quite content living with their mom and grandmom (who is supporting the household, as she is the only one who works, except for daughters 20 hours a week). They want to come here, and that will never happen with me in here. NO WAY. It would be a disaster.
I think your SD feels that by moving out, you have all the control now, and she doesn't like that one bit. Definitely be prepared for lots of guilt trips-my bf's daughter is the queen of dramatic texts and emails. Your DH is just going to have to ignore them.
I am so happy you have the chance to be alone with your DH now!
My SD21 just sends DH
My SD21 just sends DH memails, telling him she is clever, being good and how exciting and busy her life is.....ummmm....okay......just go tell your lies on Fake/Boast Book.....
Eight weeks into Summer with eight weeks to go and still no job happening anytime soon, probably just too busy with all the exciting stuff, huh?? Well, it doesn't buy you food or clothes, and neither does dear old Daddy now!! ( he does lapse , but is trying hard )
Why do they not want to work?? It is indeed a mystery, apparently the golden entitlement they feel is a full time job!!
Thanks everyone. I'm going
Thanks everyone. I'm going to gloat and celebrate as well. She's signed a lease so she's on her way out . . which is where she should be. She and DH are acting like she's still 18, moving into her first place. Her BM told her years ago at a dinner we were attending, that "Shannon doesn't want you living w/them."
Every chance DH gets he says "she's leaving us." And I keep my mouth closed because I want to throw up. So this weekend is going to be quite interesting. Emotional for them, but liberating for me! Her negative energy has done enough damage in this house.
Finally, I think she's afraid the karma bus is going to run her ass over sooner rather than later. I guess the Golden Rule wasn't included in the curriculum for the Master's program.
Her place is about 20 minutes
Her place is about 20 minutes away. I don't think she's going to do much visiting. Had she not been such a witch at the start, things would be different. Her nasty disposition has only served to make thing more difficult for herself.
LOL wait till she moves and
LOL wait till she moves and have a house party to celebrate!!! }:) Party poppers and fireworks at the ready!
Just a quick suggestion, I
Just a quick suggestion, I would change the locks when she moves out, make it just seem like you need new locks or something but I would definitly have new keys made.
Jelly back DH doesn't want to
Jelly back DH doesn't want to change the locks, but I'm not done just yet. Why does she need a key if she doesn't live here? He wants her to have access to come and go. . not happening. She's too irresponsible to be trusted with her own keys let alone ours. After she's out, we're going to have another show down about the keys.
Stick to your guns about the
Stick to your guns about the keys! There is no reason she needs full access to your home. NONE. I want to thwack your DH for not letting her grow up.
Isn't she getting married soon? Next year? I can't believe she's being such a dork about moving out, yet we all know our SD's can be supreme dorks when they set their mind to it.
Tell me about it. Therein
Tell me about it. Therein lies the problem, he doesn't want her to grow up. Yes, she's getting married in June of next year.
Today, she took DH to look at the place and there are a lot of security issues. So even though she's having a system installed, DH is freaking out. I told them to make a list of the issues so he could resolve them. Her fiance also had some of the same issues with certain areas not being too secure.
Finally why did she not at least take BM with her to look at the place? She hasn't even seen it, and she doesn't work so timing wasn't an issue. I swear, when you coddle your kids, they can't think their way out of a wet paper bag. Take someone w/you who knows what to look for. Ridiculous!
Funny you said that, I
Funny you said that, I mentioned the same thing earlier to my mom. I'm going to run it by jellyback . . I mean my DH and see what he thinks.
I can't believe he's against not taking back our keys or changing the locks!
OH GOOD LORD, I didn't even
OH GOOD LORD, I didn't even THINK about that in my situation! SS is 9 years old and believe me, I am counting the days until he is 18. On that day, he is OUT. I've already started talking to my DH about it to make sure this child goes. If he stays until he's 27, my DH will be a 2x divorcee.