SD lies and steals CONSTANTLY!
My SD is 10yrs old and has been lying and stealing since pre-k! Shes in the 5th grade now and has earned a title as a theif, bully and a liar..anyway today she brings home 2 or 3 markers, a pair of scissors and a giant binder all of which I have never seen before..she had a substitute today so when she has a sub she almost always comes home with something saying the sub let her borrow it..anyhow I knew her ass was lying to me so I took the items and are to have my younger SD return them Thursday..I just don't get what the hell my older SD deal is..its literally like she sees herself above all..she acts like a spoiled little shit 24/7 and we in NO WAY spoil her at all! The thing that pisses me off the most about everything is she will lie right to your face and if you don't know her or how she is than its very easy to fall for it..needless to say her actual teacher is PISSED and said she will be dealing with her when she gets back Thursday but to expect something else to come home with her tomorrow since again she will have a sub..I CANNOT wait for time to pass and her little butt gets caught and can't cry her way out of it! She starts middle school next year so Im hoping for more strict rules..I don't want to see her get expelled because then she'll just be here making me miserable and she already does that as it is..I honestly don't care if everything she does is for attentiion and I seriously hope her ass gets arrested soooooooon! I know we'll be responsible for court costs and all but dammit it would be worth it just to see things not go her way for once! BEYOND frustrated and THANK GOD that my younger SD and son do not do any of the same shit!
Is this girl receiving
Is this girl receiving intense professional help? It sounds like she needs it.
It sounds as though she lives with you. What's the story with her BM? I think that often, kids' acting out is their way of screaming for an adult to step up and help them. I think that SD needs to be taught that yes, she did see a lot of tough things happen with her BM, but she can choose to not be a victim and not use her past as an excuse for bad behavior. This is where your DH needs to step up. He can have some good, calm conversations about this with her. He can also call her doctor and ask them for a good child therapist in your area. You might want to consider family counseling, too.
Do I think your SD knows what she's doing is wrong? Yes, but I also think this is where adults need to step up and get her intensive therapy, discipline her and teach her how to behave. If the main adults in her life won't make positive changes, I can almost guarantee she won't. I hope she gets intensive professional help.
To answer your question yes
To answer your question yes she has seen several therapists over the last few years and has been seeing a skills therapist for nearly two years..she has been in partial care and 72 hour stints at the local hospital due to her behavoir. We have done family counseling, med changes, individual counseling and nothing has worked..she manipulates people so much and tells them what they want to hear that they just write her off or whatever..we are very fortunate that the people in our life now that work with us and her are well aware of what shes really like though they don't see that side of her..as far as her BM goes the woman is a deadbeat..she hasn't seen either of the girls since September 2009 and even has a facebook but never contacts us though we've contacted her several times. I know my SD is hurt by the no contact but yes she just basically needs to accept it as it is and move on so you are right about that
we have done so much re-direction that it seems so pointless anymore..now days she steals almost daily and lies even more..I just don't know anymore..
I think this is a good idea,
I think this is a good idea, too. I know kids who have gotten their acts together because they got a tour of a local prison.
Why is the younger SD
Why is the younger SD returning the stuff? Put it in a bag, you or your DH walk the older girl into her class and hand the bag to the substitute and flat tell her "SD10 brought home items that are not hers last evening. Her father and I believe she stole them." Or make the kid admit to the teacher she stole them. Embarassment goes a long way in curing sticky fingers, so long as the child does feel embarrassment over her actions. If she does not you will need to start counceling gor her immediately.
Our younger SD is returning
Our younger SD is returning the stuff because my husband has to work early mornings and I do not drive and they both ride the bus so it is really the only option we have. My husband dosen't get home until school is well over so having our younger SD return the items is the next best thing..we know she returns them and she can be completely trusted in doing so. She is only 8yrs old but is far more mature than my older SD. And no embarassment does not work with my SD she will literally laugh it off or change the subject..she is a very hard person to get through to unfortunately..hard headed basically...
I agree bring her and the
I agree bring her and the stuff in and make her return it to the owner. I had to do this with my little sister about 20 times before I got through to her that she wasn't getting away with it. She never stole again.
This sounds like something I
This sounds like something I would write.....Attention; and to see what they can get away with - to see if anyone is paying attention to them. Most of the time I am the only one........Dad needs to be "told to look" at what his daughter is doing. My SD in now 14 (been w/ since 1.5) and we have her FTime. I am not trying to scare you - but it doesn't change - this year it got worse.
She does stuff- gets in trouble - and then does it again 2 days later!! I don't evern trust her to take a walk around the block.
Example: she argues w/ my BD12 about everything..SD steals her clothes. The other day BD wasn't home and SD went in and took her shirt (by the way my daughter's clothes are WAY to SMALL; but SD likes iikes to "stick out") anyway - SD didn't know I was home and had a heartattack when she saw me. She ran in her room and changed her shirt!! LOL
they are so annoying...........
My SS did the same, mostly
My SS did the same, mostly stuff from school, always an excuse. I told husband I felt he was lying and I thought he needed to address it with his son which never happened.....husband said he did not want to accuse his son, blah! No accusations needed to take place. I simply asked way too late in the game, he admitted. We had him return as much stuff as possible, send letters with apologies to schools or people he stole from. We then put him in counseling and counselor did not take this lightly, she backed up my approach. Bio mom (noncustodial) then accused me of not lving her son for putting him thru all that....can you believe? Last I knew, he is still stealing.....as an adult he was robbing the washer coin section of the dryers and washers in his apartment complex.
I do wish you lots of luck!