I'm hoping others have been in this situation and can help me out with any advice...

I've begun to disengage because my DH wasn't taking any of the parenting responsibility serious for his son (6). He had no issues with me being the one to set the rules, enforce the rules, and basically be the bad guy, while he got to skate around being the good guy. SS6 is basically a good kid, but he does push the envelope. He's in 1st grade and has been sent to the principal's office 4 times since kindergarten. Of course, I have NO tolerance for this and think it's only going to continue to get worse. Most of the time it's for general misbehaving (last time was for kicking bathroom doors), but I still think 4 times is excessive for a 6 year old. But there is no big consequences....he gets grounded, can't watch tv or play video games, etc, but that's not even missed anymore...he still gets to do all his extra activities....something I would have already pulled him from....but I've taken a step back and am letting DH deal with this....no longer am I making it my issue to fix.

Anyway, that's a little background on SS6. One of my main issues is that he doesn't listen to me anymore. He used to be really good about it, but now it's like, no big deal, and DH doesn't do anything about it. I have been the one to provide most everything for him in the past 2 years, from clothing to bedspreads, etc, and have recently told him that this will stop due to his not listening and lack of respect for me. So without me doing it, he doesn't get anything cause DH doesn't usually buy him stuff.

So add into the picture our BD4months. I do everything I can for her. She is my first child, and I'm completely reveling in the first time parent situation. I don't get excessive, but if there is something she needs or I want for her, I don't think twice about gettig it. At first DH judged me a little, but he's since stopped since I explained to him that his son has had 6 years to be an only child, and had that time with his BM to bond and for her to enjoy her first time being a parent. It's not my issue that we do things differently, and I will not be held to the standard that BM did her SS6. Am I wrong in my thoughts?

So I digressed with all that info, ha, and here is the real issue that I'm needing advice on. My DH has a tendancy to plan things with his friends and just assumes that I'll watch his son. Example - went to a concert last week, I watched SS, he then went to a concert again this week, and I had SS, and then he tells me that he has plans next Saturday and expects me to watch SS. I put my foot down the last two times (this week and for next weekend). This week when he went to a concert, SS was supposed to go to church, but I refused to take him, since DH should be the one doing it and by choosing to go to a concert, it obviously wasn't that important to him that his son go. And then about next weekend, I asked him what he was doing with his son, and he instantly knew I wasn't going to watch him, and just said, I'll figure it out. I'm tired of him assuming I'm the babysitter so he can run around and do all these fun things. All the things I have going on, I plan when he is at work, and ask my mom for help....

Am I wrong for making him take responsibility?? Has anyone else been in this situation, and how have you handled it?