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CandyLou's picture

Submitted by CandyLou on Sat, 03/12/2011 - 10:10pm

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Adult Stepchildren

So last Monday, BF's 23 year old son says to his dad he has tickets for them to go to a concert that Saturday. Gesture sounds nice, and my BF says how happy he is. No concern for our plans being cancelled. Well the "concert" turned into a 12 hour event, taking up most of our weekend. Not only that, but my BF drives an hour to pick him up for the concert, (when SS is perfectly capable of driving), then goes to SD's house for a visit, takes them all out to lunch, then they spend all day and all night together, then no joke, at 1.00 am he is still out and when I send him a message, he says "oh just stopped in at SK's house to say goodnight"!! At 1.00 am!! So he gets home at 2.00 am!

So this is their new way of manipulating, scheduling things like "tickets" so that there is no way I can be included.

Idiots!!!

sandye21's picture

Submitted by sandye21 on Sun, 03/13/2011 - 4:34pm

Good point. Only wish this site had been around 20 years ago. Things would not have escalated to the point they did. I often wonder what DH would have done if I had known what I now know when we first got married - if the marriage would have lasted if I had not been a doormat. Now I know it's not worth staying married if you are treated like crap. I know we have been bombarded by society with the dribble that 'children come first' and this is why I hung on so long to the misguided hope that if I was just nice enough SD would change her mind about hating me. Now I don't care.

CandyLou's picture

Submitted by CandyLou on Sun, 03/13/2011 - 9:33pm

Thanks goforit, I think you are right. I think what hurts is what stepaside said in another post which has really stayed with me, about the DH being the one to raise this with their kids. I honestly think this situation would be a whole lot better (for everyone) if we could always count on our partners protecting ourselves automatically in these situations.

Eyes Wide Open's picture

Submitted by Eyes Wide Open on Sun, 03/13/2011 - 2:54pm

I think, if DH's kids were to call him to do ANYTHING (especially if THEY paid for it!), he jump at the opportunity. They rarely remember his birthdays, holidays, or father's day. He does go and visit skanky SD24 and her spawn every so often, but it's usually only for an hour or so....
When my daughter got me AWESOME concert tickets (floor seats!) for Valentine's Day, DH made the comment that he "wished his kids would do something like that for him".

So, yes, I could see him going ape shit over an event like this, staying longer than he should, wearing out his welcome, etc. etc. Would I appreciate being blown off for it? Nope.... but the chances of it actually happening are slim and none, so I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

CandyLou's picture

Submitted by CandyLou on Sun, 03/13/2011 - 9:36pm

LOL Eyes Wide Open. Your comments made me laugh. Yes the SS actually paid for the tickets! So I thought the same at first, that it was great he was being treated to something. That was until my partner drove an hour to pick him, then paid for everything else lol, like dinner, movies (yes they went to the movies too!).
So thanks for offering another perspective that at least his kids have done something for him. A much better gift than the usual mugs SD gets him with pictures of them when they were at Disneyland! lol