Living in the ex marital house
I have moved a very long way to be with the love of my life...we met before he met ex mad women who he married and had 2 horrors with....we married and our intentions were to move out of this house and out of this area....that has not happened as yet...
Im becoming upset with the 'deal' and whilst DH says its got to do with finances....I still dont feel enough is being done for me.
I feel sick being in this house that he lived with his ex and conceived them two kids in.
for the first 6 months I could turn a blind eye...but now...I dont feel like its my home...and neither do my kids...his kids come over and just pull things around in the cupboards, drawers, change the TV stations, blow out my candles, put shoes on tables, invite who ever they like into the house without rules...I cant stand it...
Anyone else been in such a situation....and and by the way the skids hate me!
We lived in their house for
We lived in their house for 10 years and built a new house in December of 2009. I hated every day of those 10 years. Every single member of DH's family had lived in that house at one point. In the beginning they tried to come and go as the please until I started pitching a massive fit about it. Plus BM and the guy she was cheating on DH with lived in the house for a little while as well. We got everyones' past due bills and all their debt collection calls.
DH promised I would never have to bring any of our children home to that house but we were in no position to move when I got pregant with DS so instead I remodeled like a crazy woman. The contractors finished the Friday before I delivered DS on that Monday. DD came home to our new house.
It sounds like you and your DH need to set some rules with his kids as well!
Thanks Susi....I demanded the
Thanks Susi....I demanded the locks be changed and that keys remain with us...his kids still think they can walk in and out when ever they like. (i told him to tell them I walk around naked in the house so they needed to knock before they come in) the little turds were brought up in this house by the mad mother so of course they feel they have full access throughout the house.
I am forever getting her mail....I just open it and then trow it in the bin...mind you I remind DH that 'again today her mail was tossed in the bin'
Im really annoyed that some of her stuff is in the house...back shed...garage etc not to mention the stickers etc that are lying around....I hate it and its starting to take over my characture....
sometimes I feel cheated....like I moved here under false pretenses, and now I have no end in sight.
His kids dont know what rules are...they never listen to wot anyone says...are allowed to do what ever they like....they dont come around here anymore If im here....which is good but annoying that they are wishing our marriage would break up.
I never lived in or dated DH
I never lived in or dated DH whilst he was still residing in the home from his previous marriage. I couldn't even tolerate to have a rug or any furnishing which had been jointly purchased by DH and BM, got rid of them all. ALTHOUGH today, we do have a serving dish (which I quite like) which dates back to their marriage. I should really get rid of it because without fail, each time I use it, I think about it having belonged to "her".
oh well before we were
oh well before we were married but whilst we were engadged DH was away with work and his rotton kids had the keys to the house so they let the witch in and she stole the lovely dinner set with gold edging and all the knives forks etc with matching gold edges leaving nothing but crakced and chipped dinner ware and hardly any thing to eat with....apparently it was a present from her side of the family for their wedding present....
mind you they had been divorced for 6 years before she did this....I only found out recently as to how she got into the house...hence the locks were changed....
as my husbands friends said....give the bitch a key and say...take the effen lot and piss off out of our lives for good and never come back!
needless to say I get enjoyment out of throwing her crap in the trash these days....
I live in the house where my
I live in the house where my SO and his EX used to live. I like it but I am looking forward to the day when we can have OUR house.
I did make it a point to bring up the coasters that we have in our living room yesterday. They were made by the EX with SO's mother. They have both SO's and the EX's name on them. When I brought up the fact that these need to be replaced he told me that we can just paint over them. I told him that his EX made them and he just didn't get it. He thinks because they're nice that it doesn't matter. Why oh why can't they understand. That would be like me wearing jewlery in front of him that my EX gave me because it was nice. I don't think that he would appreciate that.
ohhhh.....I would be
ohhhh.....I would be furious....just throw them out....
I feel so very uncomfortable in this house...I find it hard to clean things....most of the furniture is from their time together and I went to clean walls the other day and noticed thats dirt from little kids...and obviously from a long time ago....so ive left the dirt there...why should I clean up the house she once lived in....?
Me and SO live in their
Me and SO live in their starter home. when one of bms aunts died she left her and her mom a house and bm remortgaged it to the eyeballs and used the equity to by the house her and SO lived in when they split, she still lives there. This house was also remortgaged and turned into a rental house..pisses me off as it was only bought for £77k but now £111K owing on the mortgage. her house is also up the the ying in mortgage with very little equity.
It doesnt bother me all that much, we are doing renos on it starting next month but will probably sell or rent it out again if we move back to canada in a year or two. the attic is filled with her shit. we are going to do a mass clear out and i will then use all of her old dresses and clothes (that she can no longer even fit a leg into) as dog poo rags.
it confuses the skids, well the older two as they both lived here till 2006 so remember it. we swapped the rooms around so their old room is now our master. also repainted the whole place so much nicer now. cant wait to rip out the first kitchen she designed herself and use it as firewood.
Oh-yeah and I left out the
Oh-yeah and I left out the part where SO's EX's name is still on the mortgage. WTF. I am living in her house and paying her portion of their mortgage. Thye've been divorsed for almost 2 years now.
I was extremely
I was extremely uncomfortable. The skids ran the place and who knows how many times they let their BM in to snoop around our bedroom, etc.
The crappy thing is, we bought a house together about a year and a half ago, and I put the entire down payment down, and the skids (SD 18/21) both thought it was "their household" to run as they pleased. If they didn't like something daddy was doing, they accused him of letting me "run the household".......hell yes bitches, it's MY HOUSE!!!
....someone posted here not too long ago, and it makes sense. The reason why they act like the "parent in charge" is because they've had to be the parent (to the sociopath/narcissistic BM....who plays victim to get sympathy) all their lives, so they don't know how to be "kids" and let the parents be in charge.
WOW I like that final
WOW I like that final sentence....the narcissistic BM who plays victim to get sympathy-How true that is of the ex nutter that my husband married in what must have been a moment of madness....and to think he left me for her...
I actually think her engadgment ring was brought for me...but then thats another story which is way too complicated for this forum...
Yes I refuse to allow his kids with a key....as they are on her side...not our side....and they are not to come and go into the house any way they want....I guess Im lucky to have convinced my husband of this ....
That women needs to be off the mortgage....go to the bank and ask how to do it....YOU GO TO THE BANK .... get the appropriate forms and get it started ASAP
What would happen if your husband died??? you would be kicked out of that house within no time....and left with NOTHING.
Which is exactly what a lot of these skids are going to be left with...NOTHING....
}:) 
He said is't just easier to
He said is't just easier to leave her name on it. I can't remember his reasoning as to why. I just know if that crazy B broke into our house, technically it wouldn't be breaking and entering because her name is on the mortgage. You can't break into you own house. I just like the fact that he calls it our home. It's not our home. It's your Ex wife and your home. I just help pay the mortgage.
If they are divorced, all he
If they are divorced, all he needs is to have her sign a quit claim deed and pay $50 to file and she's off. I have my BS meter going off on this one......
Why didn't he have his Lawyer do this at the time of divorce?!?!?!?!? (My ex- did!!!)
You NEED her name off there, for your own privacy and protection, because, YES, technically, she can come and go as she pleases as long as her name is on that house. You have ZERO control. He needs to know that, at least for your peace of mind. If he's not willing to go the distance for you, I'd seriously let him know you are concerned about his motives. You pay the mortage now, you have every right to get her off that house.
He said something along the
He said something along the lines of having to do it when refinance the house. At least I think that's what he said. I guess according to him that's the only way to do it. I have no clue as to if that's what actually needs to be done.
Burning Sage throughout the
Burning Sage throughout the house has the same affect and I think its more natural...if that makes sense. I also have an all seeing eye pointed towards the front door to make sure all things BM stay out.
What does burning sage do??
What does burning sage do?? Do you find it in insence sticks or oil?? I don't think anything could rid my house of the badness..unless she moves out..LOL
Burning sage is part of a
Burning sage is part of a cleansing ritual. You buy a small bundle of dried sage still on the stalks, usually wrapped in a cord. Light, snuff, and walk with it smoking, invoking whatever sense of cleansing and clarity you resonate to. It is meant to do outdoors, however, and is less effective in a closed space. But really, it's less about the mechanism (prayer chimes, flaming epsom-alcohol cleanse, sage, whatever) and more about your intention and bringing focused clarity to claiming your space.
Oh yes. Her name is still on
Oh yes. Her name is still on the mortgage. But as she trashed SO's credit file after they separated (another long boring story) and I have relatively new credit in this country we cant remortgage her off. FYI-quit claim deed and mortgage release are two separate matters, both here and in the US. you can remove someone from the deed but they can stay on the mortgage no problem. They wouldnt have any legal right of entry either..the DEED is what is important not the mortgage.
Works both ways tho as SO's name is still on her mortgage.
HOWEVER, they have both been removed from the deeds. She has no claim on our house but SO gets 20% of hers when youngest turns 18, she gets remarried, cohabits for a year or she can buy him out. I am gunning for SD turning 18 as thats the biggest payout and will hit her where it appears to hurt her the most, in her bank balance.
I guess I kindal lucked out.
I guess I kindal lucked out. When i moved here to be with my now DH I had 3 kids and he had his 2 spawns. The place that him and his ex resided in was far to small for all of us. Over the first few years, I managed to weed out everything that belonged to her. "our" house now has nothing that use to belong to the 2 of them. Well except a few pots but that doesn't bother me because the lazy bitch never used them anyways. There was no way in hell I could have handled living in the same house they shared never mind the same bed...that was the first to go. I am really glad because it feels like mine and she can't make stupid comments about how they got that when they got married. She is pissed because he does so much more for me then he ever did for her because she was a lazy pig who couldn't take care of anything. it really pissed her off when we bought our house because when they were together they lived in a nasty trailer. I am not against trailers but when you live like your house is a trash can then its nasty.I have OCD and my house is always clean even with 4 kids and 1 spawn. I get the last laugh and I love it. I does make a big difference.
bad BM is a Jealous BM HOW
bad BM is a Jealous BM
HOW TRU....any ideas on how to stir it up further??? crazy nutter
Yeah I would love to
Yeah I would love to redecorate...but Im still waiting to sell my house...You sound a bit like our composition except Im having trouble cleaning this house as the moment I go into a cupboard Ill come accross something of hers and get really upset...it gets chucked...DH seems to think he went through all this stuff and threw it out before I arrived...but no - he did not go through thoroughly enough or maybe she has gone round and planted some stuff whilst we were all holidaying in California days before we got here....??? Wouldnt suprise me...
She too was a lazy pig...now lesbian carpet munchin bitch who used my husband for many years pretending to her own kids that they wearnt even divorced....even making my husband go along on family outings with them after divorce bullshitting crap about it will help the kids...yeah until another woman comes along and he dont wanna go....
Sorry Im just really upset today...
liks, while my BF was sent to
liks, while my BF was sent to Afghanistan for an entire year, to save money I lived in his and his ex's home which they had their two children in. I also slept in the same room as they did as a married couple. I understand the weirdness in all aspects!
yeah stillsearching...thats
yeah stillsearching...thats exactly where Im sleeping...I go into the closet where me and DH had sex and feel thats where they had sex too....I said to Dh last night...Im worried about her fat arse being up on the kitchen bench where Im cutting up food...who knows he propably banged her there as well...he said he didnt but??
There yah go....unless we move into another house - from now on there is no bonking in anything but our bed...
Step Mum in = all what
Step Mum in = all what you have said about your relationship is the exact same with us.....My husband has loved me for over 24 years...yet married her due to her manipulative and threatening attitude and I fell pregnant to some other idiot trying to forget my tru love and I refused to talk to my now husband....BM has thrown out all our old pictures and most of our memrobillia from all them years ago where we spent so many times to gether....we lived a long way apart so that also stopped us from marrying back then.
but the skids really liked me and really enjoyed being around us....this really makes BM jealoousand so she had no other alternative but to make things up about me...and my DH
She wldnt wanna yell at me in wahlmart....Ide grab her round the scruff of the neck and shake her till her head fell off!!!! (im ex army and boxer) She is even jealous that Ive got a higher education, better figure, better lookin, better housekeeper and I can cook...she never did any of that and as a result she nearly killed my husabnd by feeding him shit all day - he is getting his health back now...but she has stuffed up her kids health completly.
Anyway....Im going through the cupboards and throwing anything that suggest to be hers OUT....burnt all the photos I found the other day...thats was so theraputic...and considering its trash day...mmmm...let me go see whats in the back shed....
geez it feels good....and I need sage...and an eye at the front door....yeah...I can do that....
anyone else got any other ideas....
Well I am not ex army or
Well I am not ex army or boxer but if that bitch ever went off on me in walmart, I would react the same way.
I think his ex psycho is jealous as well. Because she is a worthless loser who only ends up with men who want an easy lay. No decent man wants her because she can't cook, she doesn't clean, she won't work and she is a cheater. And well, I am spoiled rotten. The funny thing is I don't even have to brag to her about the things he does for me cause his kids tell her all about it. They to, also don't like the fact that i am spoiled. I treat my husband the way he deserves to be treated. I take care of the house, make sure the bills are paid and on time, I take care of my kids and HIS and I cook. She hates the fact that I am the one always with her kids but even when she did have them she was always pawning them off on MIL cause she didn't want to drag her lazy ass off the couch to take care of them.
i was almost there, but told
i was almost there, but told dh i would not do that, if he won the house, we'd put it up for rent or sale it and he would have to make sure HE could cover the mtg until then....nope aint doing that