ex wife is clearly abnormal and has refused the children of my husband any contact...and kids are going along with it

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Why my step kids would prefer to stay with their mother that everyone who knows her actually despisers her - I do not know....they no longer stay here with us...

Im married to the most lovely man in the world and his only mistake is being too nice. His ex orders him around thru his kids....Im extremley upset as to the last 6 mths of bickering from his kids towards me and my husband...in fact Im pleased they are not around as much....but the constant txts and phone calls which are very demanding...they request my husband pick them up and take them out somewhere alone without me and my kids.... I feel if these children of my husbands cannot come and join in on our family outings, or come around and see us at our house, why should my husband be rewarding them with such bad behaviour by taking them to baseball/bowling/football games etc, and cancelling our plans that we all had for our family....

My husband often asks them to come around here as I am cooking something special but they refuse and say not if im there...not if my kids are here - apparently Im the enemy....and Im over it....Im actually well educated and actively involved in local community...

the ex doesnt make any phone calls to here anymore...she just kids her kids to do it...and they continually call repeatedly over and over again...if they cant get their father on his cell phone they call the house...and always during dinner....breakfast....first thing on sunday morning....valentines day...our honeymoon....they were calling 10 times in the afternoon alone plus constant emails....

Im really concerned they are taking his concentration and focus away from his work with their calls....(he pays for their phones)
Im exhausted....anyone got any ideas how to handle this....or has had to deal with this stuff themselves

I'd shut off the ringers at

I'd shut off the ringers at the least. Block their numbers on your cell. Also keep a record of the refused visitation and the harassment.

Thanks guys you all

Thanks guys you all rock....

Husbands response is not immediatly NO....he just says 'well Ill have to see'...or 'ill discuss this with me'...basically he is non committal then wont do it....He is playing it well....but the whole thing pisses me off....the kids 13 and 16 are so un disciplined and have never been taught any emotional intelligence....I feel so sorry for my husband...even his family dont like his kids....they find them unruley and too demanding....these two kids are given presents and if they dont wont them they just give them back....what are you supposed to do about kids like that...???

ringers are shut off....phone in bedroom has now been removed but every now and then we forget.....usually early in the morning on a weekend we could be in the middle of a love making session and off DH's phones go...its on vibrate....and it will keep going and going...then a txt is sent....how kids at that age think they can call like that is beside me...which makes me believe their pyscho lesbian mother is making them do it....

I cracked up the other night and said its rude but Im tempted to say to DH....make their mother pay for their phones but I wonder if we do this will the kids never call him???

last question to whoever

Can my DH request and expect, his ex to change her surname back to her maiden name....she is such an embarrassment to our and DH's family....he was going to request it...but can she be made to change it back?

i would be damn sure i

i would be damn sure i answered every call they made (when the ringers weren't turned off ) and tell them dh is not available, can you help them...... the deafening silence when they hear your voice is priceless.... yeah they'll probably hang up, but who cares...

and you can also block their numbers (home & cell) maybe not forever, but could you imagine their reaction to find that they have been blocked?? ~~ one of my favorites!! }:)

Thanks Starfish...done

Thanks Starfish...done that...they just say 'is my dad there'? no hello no who it is just their normal rude as attitude...my daughter answered the phone last night....DH and I had fed my kids and we had just sat down together at the table, poured the wine and about to eat what I had cooked....blackened talipia when the home phone started ringing...DH said leave it...but my daughter of 16 answered it...and they 'just is my father there'??? I was going to speak up and say to my daughter to tell them he is having his dinner...they will have to call back...but thought Ill save this one for next time....WHEN I ANSA THE PHONE....

If I blocked their numbers....they will just complain about me even more....I dont know If I could block their numbers from their fathers cell phone....I sort of feel thats a bit nasty...

i blocked them both on fb cos they were just fb stalking what we were up to....I sort of enjoyed updating my status with things that I knew will really piss them off....

I really think they are jealous of me....annoyed they cant order their father around, annoyed he isnt handing out money like he used to....annoyed that his father pay me so much attention and genuinely totally crazed that their father has remarried....like how dare he??? and their mother is baiting them to feel more anger....

I really think they are

Being a stepmom and a step child I'm in no way defending anything his daughters do but having your family torn apart is hard no matter what age you are. Maybe your kids are handling the remarriage okay but his kids may not be- especially his daughters. When my father got remarried I was completely unsure about the whole thing. And I don't think I was jealous of my step mom so much as jealous of the time her kids were able to spend with my dad while I had to miss out on time spent with him because my parents divorce- not because I personally did anything wrong. I think its important for them to still feel like a priority so if that means him taking them out without you so what? Not all the time but have you talked to your DH about the feelings they have towards you? I TOTALLY understand at a certain point you don't care anymore but at the same time those girls arent going anywhere- regardless. They'll always be his daughters. And while you should definately be a top priority so should they- balancing the two especially if you don't get along has got to be hard on DH.
My stepson acts out a lot- hes much younger but I blame my husband and BM. If they allow the behavior to continue- it will. And I know if my step mom were to tell me not to call my dad resentment would only build further. So maybe you should have a long heart to heart with him because he is ultimately the one that has to say something.

tootie25 you are

tootie25 you are right...however...his kids have always been known as monsters....in fact they told their cousins that they get wateva they want by complaining over and over again to their father cos in the end he gives in....

These boys are not told to do anything...they are allowed to do what ever they want and now live with their BM because they cant handle us...or is it because we discipline them when by god its needed.

I agree and have allowed them to call their father over and over again during meals and when ever they wanted...but isnt that teaching them teaching the wrong values .... there comes a point when adults need to guide kids to do the right thing....

then when kids do the right thing they get rewarded..anyway thats how I have brought up my kids and they seem level headed and let me just say....they had to give up EVERYTHING to be here with me & DH and his problem kids...absolutely EVERYTHINg>>..we moved from one end of the world to here....

Sounds like Dad is doing his

Sounds like Dad is doing his part. He's side-stepping their requests.

You just have to be more careful with your phones. First get rid of the landline. Second make sure all phones are off or out of hearing distance when you two are doing something private.

Third suggest to DH that he tell his kids that he will call them once a day, probably after work would be best, and that any calls he receives from them will be ignored. He can tell the kids they can leave messages and he will listen to all of them around 5 PM and make one call in return.

Do I understand they're calling your cell? Obviously block their numbers. You NEVER need to speak to them.

nah they are not calling my

nah they are not calling my cell phone....Just husbands...

we were at a party last night and they really hounded him....Im so over it...

He has gone off to take them to the mall cos they want things bought for them...so he has gone off with his two biological kids to get more money spent on them....says one of them got a good report card so he has to buy him something....I really didnt want to go with them...

I would love to suggest your idea of one call a day after work but they wouldnt listen to that. We just changed the landline to voip so we wont get rid of it...but yes we do move the phones out of the bedroom now and they are usually out of hearing distance....living like this has become a bit of a nightmare for me...especially because I have moved countries to be here and I am being harrassed like this

I hate it....even contimplated moving out and away....

You are here

ex wife is clearly abnormal and has refused the children of my husband any contact...and kids are going along with it