If he loved me, wouldn't he want to talk about everything? My God, I can't stop thinking about him. I wonder if he thinks about me. Or misses me. Anyway.....time to move on, I know.
LEAVE THAT LOSER ALONE!! At one time I too felt like you. That Godsgift was the be all and end all. At one time he was very serious about leaving me because I didn't want to be a doormat anymore.
That was BEFORE I went out and bought this DUMP that I'm STUCK in with him. At the time, I was crying my eyes out etc. b/c I felt he was the only one for me. Well I've seen a few things since then and now I know this guy is no better than my abusive 2nd, now deceased, ex husband. In fact he's WORSE!
Honey, get a calendar and mark off for 30 days straight that you didn't communicate with him. No trying to contact him, no picking up his calls if he calls you. Then go for another 30 days. . .keep going. In the meantime, get to a class or something that will distract you from the trainwreck you were about to enter FOR LIFE!!
You dodged a MISSILE dear. Let it GO! It's like walking back into the nuclear reactor that is melting down.
Break-ups are tough, but Asher nailed it . . play the same game. Let him pursue you. Don't give him the power by chasing him down. And if he doesn't call you back, it's time to move on.
Well, I wish he were a little empathetic about the situation.
I told him in a message that I'm so lonely on this assignment -I'm around 18 hours away for work, for 13 weeks.... and I don't have any friends or family out here....or cable television. lol.
I lashed out at him because I'm getting soooo sick of living like this and I took it out on him. I feel so isolated. Though I must admit, I was really mature when I told him that I wanted to talk about BM and when I brought things up - the convo that becamne our last. He was the one who became upset and dumped me, before hanging up on me. I was pretty mature, not expecting to get dumped.
the best way to get over one man is to get under another.now I'm not advocating being a skank but i am suggesting that you create an online dating acct and post some cute pictures.you don't have to do anything with these guys but it is a REAL self esteem booster when you get floods of emails from sexy men wanting to meet you or email with you.it's a real good way to kill time and ease the lonely feelings.
uh do i sound like i have experience with this...shhhhhh :O
Raindrop, I tell this to my girlfriends whenever they have a breakup and I have also experienced this...they ALWAYS come back. In one way or another, they do. We don't know what that will be right now but he'll come around. If for nothing else to "check up" on you. I agree...you have to play a little hard to get for awhile. He might be ignoring you for a bit because he wants to think about things or maybe he's not ready to dicuss the possibility of getting back together because he knows it might be what you want. My though also is that...if you are really broken up and planning for it to be a permanent situation there is really nothing to talk about. You will upset yourself even more. I know it's hard but turn off your phone, don't check his facebook or drive by his house or do any of that stuff. Make him believe that you are stronger than that and you're not concerned with the fate of that relationship. You will eventually move on I know this but I also know it takes some time. Hang in there
In the meantime...let Sara Evans help you! I know it's corny but it might help a little bit:
I completely agree with this! Don't make it wishy-washy. Just let it be done!
A man who ignores you & acts like you don't matter just because he knows it's hurting you is not worth your tears. He's not worth your suffering, & he certainly is not worth you doubting your self-worth over. He wants to play games??? Let him play...by himself...while you're leaving his ass in the dust & paving yourself a brand new road to happiness.
Games are stupid & they're a waste of time. They're a waste of energy, & they are not the least bit productive. Don't play!
it's ok to want closure and feedback to know that he's suffering emotionally as much as she is at this point.i think she needs to move on and she shouldn't call him but I also understand why she needs closure.it isn't about playing hard to get i don't think.it's about 'gosh what's wrong with me that he hasn't called to express remorse over this traumatic breakup?'self worth taking a nose dive because she thought she meant more to him.i think when he does finally call,she should get her closure and then move on as quickly as possible.it's hard for your self worth to not take a blow when something like this happens and while I don't condone relying on a man for self esteem,they have that power sometimes no matter what you do.
break-ups are sooo awful. But i agree with most people on here, don't contact him.
You think there's no worse feeling than feeling ignored when you really wanna reach-out that one last time? Well there is.... Its gonna take a knock at your pride. You're coming across as desperate - and he's going to love respect for you.
From what I've read on some of your other posts, it is best to let it go. Look at the bright side. You have no kids, you can start off afresh with any man without complications from your side. He's always gonna have difficulty integrating whomever he is with into his life.
P.S. Stay away from men with children. Please. Do yourself THAT favour.
Excellent advice Foxxy and I couldn't have said it better.
Raindrop, find something to occupy your time so you're not prompted to call him again and to stop agonizing over him not calling you. Try some of the following (since you don't have cable tv): crossword puzzles, tabloids, knitting, read a good horror novel, chat with your friends, play games on the computer, etc. Stay encouraged and know that you'll get through. Somethings when things work our for our greater good, it takes us a while to see the message. But later we look back and are thankful. I wish you the very best.
The only thing I can add is that someday soon you will be feeling the relief of not having that stress in your life. It takes time, and it hurts like you're dying until you get through it. But once you do, please learn from this and stay away from men with kids. I wish I had been stronger and done the same. Skids and BMs are not a healthy addition to anyone's life.
Thanx everyone. I guess I should add that I have made a couple of "friends" here, and one is also suffering from a breakup. We are going out tom. night thank goodness!!
I guess I will go ahead and extend this contract for another 13 weeks. It is supposed to end in 4 weeks and I was literally counting down the weeks until it's over just so I could be with him, but I guess I will stay now. It pays quite well and it's spitting distance to NYC. I will go to NYC every weekend if I extend, now that it's getting warm enough. I am also going to get a gym membership and work my frustration off.
aww honey you sound like one
aww honey you sound like one of the psycho bm's around here.
If he loved me, wouldn't he
If he loved me, wouldn't he want to talk about everything? My God, I can't stop thinking about him. I wonder if he thinks about me. Or misses me. Anyway.....time to move on, I know.
Lol @ Asher!! Hey, breakup
Lol @ Asher!!
Hey, breakup are difficult!!
I sympathize with those
I sympathize with those feelings.absolutely!Play the game sweetheart just like he's doing.Don't contact him and he'll come around when he's ready.
Raindrop, LEAVE THAT LOSER
Raindrop,
LEAVE THAT LOSER ALONE!! At one time I too felt like you. That Godsgift was the be all and end all. At one time he was very serious about leaving me because I didn't want to be a doormat anymore.
That was BEFORE I went out and bought this DUMP that I'm STUCK in with him. At the time, I was crying my eyes out etc. b/c I felt he was the only one for me. Well I've seen a few things since then and now I know this guy is no better than my abusive 2nd, now deceased, ex husband. In fact he's WORSE!
Honey, get a calendar and mark off for 30 days straight that you didn't communicate with him. No trying to contact him, no picking up his calls if he calls you. Then go for another 30 days. . .keep going. In the meantime, get to a class or something that will distract you from the trainwreck you were about to enter FOR LIFE!!
You dodged a MISSILE dear. Let it GO! It's like walking back into the nuclear reactor that is melting down.
Break-ups are tough, but
Break-ups are tough, but Asher nailed it . . play the same game. Let him pursue you. Don't give him the power by chasing him down. And if he doesn't call you back, it's time to move on.
Well, I wish he were a little
Well, I wish he were a little empathetic about the situation.
I told him in a message that I'm so lonely on this assignment -I'm around 18 hours away for work, for 13 weeks.... and I don't have any friends or family out here....or cable television. lol.
I lashed out at him because I'm getting soooo sick of living like this and I took it out on him. I feel so isolated. Though I must admit, I was really mature when I told him that I wanted to talk about BM and when I brought things up - the convo that becamne our last. He was the one who became upset and dumped me, before hanging up on me. I was pretty mature, not expecting to get dumped.
the best way to get over one
the best way to get over one man is to get under another.now I'm not advocating being a skank but i am suggesting that you create an online dating acct and post some cute pictures.you don't have to do anything with these guys but it is a REAL self esteem booster when you get floods of emails from sexy men wanting to meet you or email with you.it's a real good way to kill time and ease the lonely feelings.
uh do i sound like i have experience with this...shhhhhh :O
Honey...its over for a
Honey...its over for a reason. Get through each day as it comes. I've read your other post. This is the right thing. You're stronger than you think.
Raindrop, I tell this to my
Raindrop, I tell this to my girlfriends whenever they have a breakup and I have also experienced this...they ALWAYS come back. In one way or another, they do. We don't know what that will be right now but he'll come around. If for nothing else to "check up" on you. I agree...you have to play a little hard to get for awhile. He might be ignoring you for a bit because he wants to think about things or maybe he's not ready to dicuss the possibility of getting back together because he knows it might be what you want. My though also is that...if you are really broken up and planning for it to be a permanent situation there is really nothing to talk about. You will upset yourself even more. I know it's hard but turn off your phone, don't check his facebook or drive by his house or do any of that stuff. Make him believe that you are stronger than that and you're not concerned with the fate of that relationship. You will eventually move on I know this but I also know it takes some time. Hang in there
In the meantime...let Sara Evans help you! I know it's corny but it might help a little bit:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22zB6Soc2Gk
I like this one; but then
I like this one; but then again I'm old!
This too was my song when I had it up to here with abusive hubby no. 2.
And I totally am playing it now b/c that's the way I feel with Godsgift!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLpfbcXTeo8
I completely agree with this!
I completely agree with this! Don't make it wishy-washy. Just let it be done!
A man who ignores you & acts like you don't matter just because he knows it's hurting you is not worth your tears. He's not worth your suffering, & he certainly is not worth you doubting your self-worth over. He wants to play games??? Let him play...by himself...while you're leaving his ass in the dust & paving yourself a brand new road to happiness.
Games are stupid & they're a waste of time. They're a waste of energy, & they are not the least bit productive. Don't play!
it's ok to want closure and
it's ok to want closure and feedback to know that he's suffering emotionally as much as she is at this point.i think she needs to move on and she shouldn't call him but I also understand why she needs closure.it isn't about playing hard to get i don't think.it's about 'gosh what's wrong with me that he hasn't called to express remorse over this traumatic breakup?'self worth taking a nose dive because she thought she meant more to him.i think when he does finally call,she should get her closure and then move on as quickly as possible.it's hard for your self worth to not take a blow when something like this happens and while I don't condone relying on a man for self esteem,they have that power sometimes no matter what you do.
It took 3 months of no
It took 3 months of no contact between me and my ex-fiance before he called begging to get back together.
I almost should have gotten back with him.
Hmmm...
unfaithful dog with lots of money
vs.
verbally abusive alcoholic with NO money because of the skids and psycho BM!
::BANGS HEAD AGAINST KEYBOARD::
STAY STRONG RAIN!
i'd go for the unfaithful dog
i'd go for the unfaithful dog with lots of money.
Well, I could have the rich
Well, I could have the rich one back
but...now he's got two kids. And they are WAY younger than my current skids!
break-ups are sooo awful. But
break-ups are sooo awful. But i agree with most people on here, don't contact him.
You think there's no worse feeling than feeling ignored when you really wanna reach-out that one last time? Well there is.... Its gonna take a knock at your pride. You're coming across as desperate - and he's going to love respect for you.
From what I've read on some of your other posts, it is best to let it go. Look at the bright side. You have no kids, you can start off afresh with any man without complications from your side. He's always gonna have difficulty integrating whomever he is with into his life.
P.S. Stay away from men with children. Please. Do yourself THAT favour.
Excellent advice Foxxy and I
Excellent advice Foxxy and I couldn't have said it better.
Raindrop, find something to occupy your time so you're not prompted to call him again and to stop agonizing over him not calling you. Try some of the following (since you don't have cable tv): crossword puzzles, tabloids, knitting, read a good horror novel, chat with your friends, play games on the computer, etc. Stay encouraged and know that you'll get through. Somethings when things work our for our greater good, it takes us a while to see the message. But later we look back and are thankful. I wish you the very best.
The only thing I can add is
The only thing I can add is that someday soon you will be feeling the relief of not having that stress in your life. It takes time, and it hurts like you're dying until you get through it. But once you do, please learn from this and stay away from men with kids. I wish I had been stronger and done the same. Skids and BMs are not a healthy addition to anyone's life.
Thanx everyone. I guess I
Thanx everyone. I guess I should add that I have made a couple of "friends" here, and one is also suffering from a breakup. We are going out tom. night thank goodness!!
I guess I will go ahead and extend this contract for another 13 weeks. It is supposed to end in 4 weeks and I was literally counting down the weeks until it's over just so I could be with him, but I guess I will stay now. It pays quite well and it's spitting distance to NYC. I will go to NYC every weekend if I extend, now that it's getting warm enough. I am also going to get a gym membership and work my frustration off.