I'm sorry that you are hurting.

I'm sorry that this happened, but IMO, you dodged a couple of bullets.  These kids were unlikely to ever accept you, no matter what.  And although you love him, that age difference was going to get difficult as you age and you'd have been caring for an elderly husband in your 60s. 

Have to say, the way he broke up with you was shitty, and it shows you his character.  He could have been kinder about it and been thoughtful of your feelings. He could have said that he felt torn and didn't want to put you through this, or WHATEVER.  "This isn't going anywhere" is just pure assholery. 

Sounds like a bullet dodged in the end. I’m sorry it hurts and I know it doesn’t feel that way right now. He really was a douche about it. You’re so much better off not dealing with the kids and him being so much older. I’m not against the older. My last before my husband was 21 years older but as you age things you want aren’t in sync anymore. You could end up being a young widow or just having a stifled life due to his age and possible health problems. It’s for the best in the end. 

my DH is 20+ years older than me and in the 15 years we have been together it has not been an issue.  We have adjusted to both of us aging ...it might haven an issue later on or not for you.

... however, the way your BF broke up with you is a real problem AND the way his children are would be a lot more painful for a lot more years.   I hope you can find the lessons from this relationship that are positive and you find someone who truly deserves you and your DD.  And, from experience, your daughter would never have been accepted; my DD has yet to be accepted or acknowledged by my skids.  

Sending positive thoughts.

Wishing lots of love and tender care for you and your Daughter during this hard time, Prayers for your heart to mend and skidless future relationships. 

Life with him would be even more painful.  If he cave in on a big thing, as who he is in love with.  He would be caving in with his kids the rest of his life.  They will be dictating where you go on vacation, who goes on your honeymoon. Ect,ect.  Unfortunately there a push comes to shove day in everyone relationship.  He unfortunately shoved you out.   I hope the best for you 

If after three years you still haven’t met his children, then this is doomed from the beginning. The guy didn’t make you a priority. A decent man would introduce you long ago and said “this is my girlfriend and future wife and you better respect her or else”. He didn’t. So he wasn’t as commited to you. Good riddance. Cry and then start healing and you’ll do just fine in life. You don’t need this loser and his obnoxious kids 

So, he just broke up with you without giving you a reason? After blowing you off for days? That's how he treats someone after THREE YEARS?

When you marry someone, you're signing up for a lot of fights, conflict and misery. That's what marriage is. (You also get some good times, but let's focus on the bad times for this argument.) And you can't leave because you're married. You're caging yourself in for whatever comes and certainly some bad fights will come. Do you want to be with a man (and a not-young man at that) who acts like this every time there's conflict? Conflict is bad enough without it involving an emotional midget who freezes you out with no explanation.

If you want a real partnership, you have to find your emotional equal. He is not your emotional equal. And notice I didn't even mention this guy's awful kids.

This guy might regret his decision (especially because it seems his kids might have driven the decision). Don't let him come back. Don't talk to him. Whatever he does, remind him that he made his decision in a vacuum and you've made your decision in a vacuum, so you don't need to talk to him. Fifty is not too late to learn about consequences.

As for you, I know you don't feel it now, but you are better off. A man that age who acts like that is a loser. Yea, of course "gold digger" is an easy dig with your demographics -- he's had an entire lifetime more than you to make his money and a penis to get him 24% higher wages than a woman in the same job.

But you have what he doesn't: YOUTH. And you have (presumably) a nice kid, which he seems to lack. From now on, if you don't know him well enough to marry him, if your relationship isn't far enough along to marry, don't shack up. It's a time sucker people do to rush the relationship, but it's nothing more than dating with all the strings and people do it before they're ready.

I hope you feel better soon. When you feel really bad, remember his shabby treatment of you at the end of this thing. No woman with dignity would put up with that. Be a woman with dignity. That will sting him more than anything and he'll know he screwed up big.

Wow, I am sorry to hear that.  I agree that the skids would have made your married life miserable.  God forbid anything happend to the man if you married him.  Those kids woud have swooped down on you like vultures.  Hang in there.  I know it hurts but it may be a blessing in disguise.  If the guy didn't have the testes to stand up for your relationship now, then it's good it's ending

You have spared yourself in the long run. Just saw this post now as I am new to the Forum and was looking for a similar topic. I am sorry you went through this for 3 years and I agree with Mountains and tog redux, it is the way your boyfriend broke up with you. There are other and more civilised ways of doing so. At your boyfriend's age, he should know better and know how to handle the situation properly rather than get all defensive. Hope you are doing much better after these few years.  

Not to be insensitive, but, congratulations and good riddance.

Re-read your original post above. What 30yo with a wonderful life ahead of them would lament the loss of this ball-less POS failed 50yo non man, failed daddy, and failed partner?  I can give you answer to that question if you need one.

This is no loss and no reason for sorrow. He was not worthy of you, of your love, and his ball-less retreat back to sniffing the asses of his X and their failed family breeding mistakess is no loss.

Celebrate. Enjoy living well and pursuing your best life for yourself and your DD.  Enjoy the bonus that living well is the best revenge. Relish in it

Take a deep breath and know what you likely always have known. This asshole is not worthy of you. Block him, write him off completely, do nto accept any reach out from him. It will come. Tears, lamentations, whining, pouting, appologies, begging, etc.... Do not give him or any of this crap any space in your head.

Take care of you and your LO.