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BM making drama out of nowhere (long)

AmIWicked's picture

There is nothing in the court order saying anyone gets phone calls on the other parent's time. My husband has primary custody and BM gets visitation. The parenting agreement was just redone in January so it cannot be modified for another 2 years. BM insists on calling whenever she feels like it and demands that my husband and I never go anywhere with the kids so that we are always home in case she calls.

We got a phone for the house that only accepts calls, does not call out. BM kept calling and hanging up when I would answer and said I was hanging up on her. We got an answering machine that automatically picks up on the 3rd ring. Tonight BM called at 7:30pm and the youngest girl didn't get to the phone in time because BM just said, "I'll call back later" and hung up. The youngest girl sat with the phone next to her for the last hour, waiting, and BM never called back. But at 8:27pm sent a very long message on Our Family Wizard saying:

"I again this evening called your home phone as I always do at 7:30p.m. I left a message on the machine for the kids letting them know that I would be calling back. I called again at 7:45 pm and the phone rang at least 15 times; no one picked up, nor did the answering machine. You nor AMIWICKED has the right to keep me from speaking to our children or has the right to dictate when I speak to them. I will gladly solve this issue by going back to court and suing you for full custody of our children as well as child support if the lack of JOINT PARENTING cooperation continues. Our kids deserve only the best. BM"

My husband sent back:

"BM,
SD heard your voicemail and got to the phone too late to pick it up. SD was sitting right next to the phone waiting for you to call back since then and it did not ring."

BM responded:

"If that is true then why did you not send me a message letting me know that kids were home and waiting for my call? I have my phone records ready for the judge. I'm not hiding anything. I called back at 745 pm. Why did your machine not pick up? You do not allow the kids to answer the phone after all. You have denied getting my phone calls multiple times now and I have record of all of that. You are denying me the right to a speak to our children and they the right to speak to me; their mother.

BM"

BM why do you keep making something out of nothing?

BM gets pissed that the phone wasn't answered and she makes up crap??? How is the daughter going to feel? She was the one holding the phone and BM is going to call her a liar that the phone never rang???

Orange County Ca's picture

Your husband should not get into arguments with her. When she goes crazy he just ignores the message. Ignore her demands that you be at home. Daddy tells her that IF the kid is at home she'll answer. If not leave a message and kid will be given a cell phone to return the call when you guys get home from dinner/Disneyland whatever it is you were doing. But why have the machine set to 3? Lets go it's maximum rings so the kid can make it.

It takes two to argue and if Daddy won't then no argument can ensue. He has custody. There must be a good reason because courts don't give Daddies custody as a routine measure, quite the opposite. So don't be cowed.

Once she realizes she can't spark a argument she'll give up. It will take a few months.

AmIWicked's picture

We tried that and it was SO MUCH P.A.S. the kids were freaking out about it. Let's just say it was a good thing we had unlimited minutes and texts on a family plan. Their voicemail was FULL of "it's your mom, why haven't you called me?" "It's mom again, why don't you have your phone with you" "It's mom, please call me as soon as you get this" and at least 10 texts a day of "I'm thinking about you" "Love you and miss you" "Mommy wants to talk to you, call me" "It's been 19000 days since we talked why aren't you able to answer the phone or call me?"

My husband offered to set up a schedule of Tuesday and Saturday calling at 7:30pm. BM's response was, "You can not keep me from talking to my children at any time. You should be home every night by 7:30pm so I can talk to them!"

My husband was done playing games and just told her, "I have set up a phone in my home to receive inbound calls only and put an answering machine. When you call, you can leave a message and the kids will know you tried to talk to them. If we are home they will answer."

Sparklelady's picture

Oh the BM lies... They get under my skin every time. Even when it's not my BM lol...

You've been given good advice. Just set the boundaries and stick to it. You wouldn't let her walk into your house whenever she wants, and really that's what she's doing right now with the calls and messages. Lock that front door!

stressedstep's picture

BM doesnt even bother to call SD6 at all when she is with us! And if OH rings BM to speak to SD6 she either ignores the phone or makes up an excuse,.

Now me, my BD6 has her own mobile so she can talk to her dad whenever she wants to, we even take it on holidays with us too. I look at BM and I do wonder about her behaviour considering Im in the same position, and I just dont get it!? Everyone moves on, so why carry on being a b***h!?

AmIWicked's picture

I don't understand it either, BM supposedly moved on (while still in her marriage) and now has another boyfriend she is living with. Why still be a B****???