How do I NOT feel like the bad guy all the time?
I am starting to feel like I'm always angry, and I keep talking to my DH until I feel like I have a resolution. Obviously, he doesn't think most of these things are problems but I do. And when I put my foot down or even express my feelings, I feel like the bad guy!! Here is what it's about:
I don't want his kids, his ex, or his mother to have a key to our house because they ALL just come and go as they please. Yes, even the stupid ex.
I've been super upset about all the different privacy violations that have resulted in them all having keys. I keep talking to DH about it becuse I just don't feel like he understands how I feel. He is not fighting me on it, but I have a feeling a key will leak out to one of them and then BAM, we'll be right back to the same place again.
I'm getting super anxious about it because I HATE how it feels when it happens. Can anyone help me get calm about this??
Why the hell does the ex have
Why the hell does the ex have a key to your house? That is ridiculous! I can understand maybe his mother or his oldest kid for EMERGENCY USE ONLY, but his ex? No way!
The ex has a key because she
The ex has a key because she copied the kid's key. and telling the kids to use it for emergencies only is not going to work. Wanting to use the bathroom or bring the boyfriend over to watch tv is considered an emergency in their world.
But I do think you're onto something... I may change the deadbolt and only give the kids and the mom the key to the lower door handle lock. That way they only enter when we say it's ok.
IT STILL BUGS THE SHIT OUT OF ME THAT THEY TRY TO GET IN WHEN NO ONE IS HOME AND FOR STUPID REASONS!!!
How old are these skids? Your
How old are these skids?
Your H doesn't set appropriate boundaries, does he?
Skids shouldn't have a key.
Skids shouldn't have a key. In my case we never lock the doors b/c we live out in the boonies. The skids/BM could show up at any time and just walk through the house ***shudder***
I don't understand why ANYONE
I don't understand why ANYONE has a key to your house. Why would his mother have a key to your house? for an emergency? Do you have a key to her house?
As for the ex, that's just bizarre that she's even want to be in your house when you're not there... Unless your house is their primary residence, the kids should not be having keys either. Its totally unacceptable that so many people who do not even live in your home has keys to your place you come to to feel safe and comfortable.
So now the ex can then freely go through your underwear drawer when you're not at home. That's a creepy thought. it should not even be a case for much discussion...
Is your home the kids primary residence? And also, how old are they?
The kids are 20 and 12. The
The kids are 20 and 12. The 20 year old SD "might want to stay with us for the summer" and would then need a key. Mom has a key for pet watching and other emergencies, and yes we have her key for the same. 12 year old SS has a key because he comes home alone after school.
But this is all changing this weekend because we are moving. And no, hubby has NO BOUNDARIES!!!
Ok, I'm not sure then why you
Ok, I'm not sure then why you said you don't want his mom to have a key, when its for a clearly legitimate reason that you don't seem to have a problem with.
from what you just said, it seems everyone has a legitimate reason for having keys to your house. What then is the issue? i am trying to understand the source of your frustration, as you did say you don't want them to have keys...