Why are these kids so bad?
These children continue to prove how awful they really are every single day!
I know the lifestyle they came from is horrible but they have moved into a home and things are actually "normal" but yet their behavior is getting WORSE.
SS9 is in his second year of second grade he has been in his new school with us since January 3rd and he is failing. His teacher says he pays no attention, does not complete his work, and messes around all day no matter what she does. We have taken EVERYTHING away from him. He shares a large room with SS11 who just moved in with us. He is an ok kid but now he has to spend all day and night in the living room watching our brand new 50" lcd that cost ME $1100. So selfishly I would like to watch tv on it but cannot. We have decided to try to split their room.
Any ideas on a room divider? I really do not want to spend a whole lot of money because we are renters and hope to buy a house very soon.
I am at my end with SS9, and so is my bf. He has no idea what to do with this kid. He lies, pretends he doesnt "hear" us or he forgot. He got a letter sent home from school and luckily I am on a daily emailing system with his teacher. She told me she sent the note home. Well SS9 opened it, read it, and tried to hide it and when we asked him about it ... he forgot... ugh!
Now onto SS4 ... also a demon in diguise. Has very bad days at school. They send notes home daily that he either spit on a kid, not listening, punching, yelling, etc. timeouts are not working. He actually LAUGHS at us.. literally. We have resorted to putting him in his room and shutting the door until dinner time (he has no toys in his room because of past incidents)
Well SS4 now has tantrums when sent to his room. Full frontal tantrums of kicking everything, screaming for hours, hitting everything and has even broken the blinds in his room.
I think me and BF are at our end on knowing how to handle anything anymore... honestly I secretly wish BM would get her shit together and try to reclaim her horrible children that she has made them to be. I am scared for the day i have a child and do not want his kids around mine EVER.
I love my boyfriend and do not want to leave, but these kids need to change.
any ideas?
Thanks in advance for letting me rant.... it felt nice 
Thanks for the comment and
Thanks for the comment and support. It did feel good. We work together on setting the boundaries and I am fully allowed to discipline in any way I see fit. SS9 hates me because I have taken away his weekend bedtime of 9 to 7:30. I told him I do not care if he likes me but he must respect me in the house, along with the BF telling him he must listen to me. The room divider is so that the SS9 has no toys nor distractions. SS11 loves to read and has not given us a probable (yet) as he has only been living with us for 2 weeks from foster care. We had issues with him coming to live with us because he didnt want to. Made up lies and everything else, so as much as he has caused us havoc, he has yet to give us too much of a hard time since being here.
We are at that point with SS4 of taking literally everything out of the bedroom.
Thanks for the advice and support
Thanks for the advice, I have
Thanks for the advice, I have downloaded so many books and I will deffinitly try this one. SS9 is made to sit at the dining room table until homework is done. We sit with him and do it all with him. We walk away for any more than 5 minutes and hes doing something completely different which gets him in trouble(and with 2 other children we tend to have to walk away more then we would like). He would enjoy the running, it would be no type of punishment and at this point were he is failing his 2nd year of second grade we are going to extreme measures so that he knows we are serious! We have told him he gets everything back slowly as we see progression in his behavior, attitude, and school work. Its the only thing he even seems slightly phased by!
Thanks for the comment. I
Thanks for the comment. I have suggested the testing to BF and he somewhat agrees. He was tested last year and they came up with nothing but he fits ALL categories of signs of adhd. I think another testing would just set my mind at ease that hes just being plain lazy.
The 4 year old rarely gets TV. He has gotten to watch a movie once or twice as a type of reward but thats about it. The leapster I think would be good, great idea! The only one watching tv is the 11 year old.
All are signed up for soccer starting the beginning of April. I cannot wait to see if it calms them down a bit. Hoping that it will!
Thanks for the support.
Did not take it that way at
Did not take it that way at all! Thanks for the advice!!!
Well i made a makeshift wall
Well i made a makeshift wall and it worked pretty well. SS9 was pretty astonished when he got home from school. I wish I had a camera to take a picture of his face. We will see how it works out.
SS4 got kicked out of daycare today because of his behavior. What are we going to do with this kid? Nothing is working and I am fearing he will be like this for the rest of his life. He had a really good week last week too!!! He usually gets bad notes sent home everyday and last week there was only 1!
That's definitely tricky. I
That's definitely tricky. I don't know what I would do if my SD3 just laughed at us when we punished her... I don't know the back story so I'm not sure what environment they came from but I can guess. The only thing I can suggest is sitting down with each child individually and both of you having a talk with them about their behavior. A lot of children act out and have tantrums because of frustration. Obviously they have a lot of anger/resentment and don't know how to express it properly. Let them know it's okay to be angry and that it's a healthy emotion. It just needs to be expressed in a non-destructive manner. Reassure them of your love for them and tell them you want everyone to be happy and get along. I'm sure they are just as miserable as you are in this situation so if you bring that up to them and make them see the family can't continue on like this, they may come around. Let them know that you want them to have nice toys and things but if they keep destroying them, they are going to be very bored. I know they are young but I always try to reason and talk things out with SD3 and it has always worked. When she throws a tantrum, we send her to her room and tell her she needs to think about her behavior. She screams and yells and we give her a few minutes, then return and try to talk to her. We ask her why she is upset and what she did to get into trouble. She usually just pouts the first time or two so we tell her she stays in her room until she can apologize and tell us why she got into trouble. She eventually does calm down and tells us why she is in trouble and will say she is sorry. Then we hug and all is well. Kids need to know why they are being put in time-out or they don't learn from their mistakes. It also teaches them to be accountable for their actions and that should they choose to repeat the bad behavior, they know the consequences. I hope this helps but hang in there! You're doing the best you can I'm sure and I completely understand how frustrating it can be. I wish you the best!
Thank you for the advice and
Thank you for the advice and support! The individual time might be good for them too, maybe they can get some stuff out that they dont want to say in front of their brothers! Thank you!!!
Definitely ADHD, IMO. Get
Definitely ADHD, IMO.
Get 'em retested by a specialist (Child Psychiatrist). It's a win-win for everyone.