SS9 is coming over, which I'm SO looking forward to.
SS9 is coming over for his two day period, which I'm SO looking forward to. Besides being around my own bio-kids, I'd rather be at work when SS9 is around.
Let me refresh your memory about SS9:
He cries about everything, he pees the bed and never cleans it up, he throws tantrums about almost everything (especially homework), he hates anything that takes effort, he talks to himself, he lies constantly, he's stolen things, he yells at the top of his lungs when he doesn't get what he wants, and my favorite...he does a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde act with me whenever DH walks in and out of a room. It's amazing; his voice actually changes.
(Please know that SS9 got diagnosed with ADHD and takes meds, but also got checked for Autism and was told that he *does not* have that. So SS9 is the outcome of wonderful raising by BM and DH.)
So I felt the need to vent about some common things DH says about his wonderful child before I head home:
"You know, I work with someone who has an autistic kid...SS9 really isn't that bad."
"You never say hello to SS9 when you walk in the door." (I actually do when he says hi to me)
"When SS9 is here, you walk in the door with a completely different and negative attitude."
"If you showed positivity to SS9, he would give positivity back to you."
"You want me to give up on SS9 and let him live with BM."
"If I gave BM more custody, that would ruin SS9's life". (You chose her)
"No one else has the same problems with SS9 that you have. It must be something you're doing." (...until he started the same crap with BM's fiance)
And one that I've given up on since disengaging:
Me: "If MIL was here, she would be very pissed that you let SS9's room smell so bad from peeing the bed without doing anything about it."
DH: "If my mom was here, she would just do the laundry without asking."
I couldn't believe that came out of his mouth. I was absolutely done with caring about his clothes, as long as his door stays closed.
Wow, that's a lot, and it doesn't even touch the surface. Now since DH's schedule has changed, he thinks that I'll take the reins so that he can still have 50/50 custody. Mind you that I told DH and BM a few months ago that I was done with caring for SS9 on days he worked, and if he wanted 50/50 custody with BM, SS9 would only be allowed at our house when DH was home. They b*tched about it, but it was done, and that was that. No wavering from this chica!
I've made it clear that me watching SS9 on his work days is not going to happen, because SS9 treats me like complete crap, and I deserve better in my own home in front of my own kids. It's coming to a head in a couple of weeks, and I've just got to keep staying strong and firm on that one. God give me strength, right?
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.
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Comments
That's what this site is all
That's what this site is all about! Vent away! Might be time for a few bottles of wine and a big ol can of IDGAF (I Don't Give A Fuck)
Same here!!!
Same here!!!
Remind him: His son did not
Remind him:
His son did not emerge from your hoohaw.
He and BM are the PARENTS.
You are his wife not the mother.
You said, "I've made it clear
You said, "I've made it clear that me watching SS9 on his work days is not going to happen, because SS9 treats me like complete crap" I did this as well and I highly recommend it to all. Like old one said, I did not spit this devil child out, I am not and do not want to be his mom, and I am not a babysitter. And the MIL crap, ugh, don't even get me started. NIGHTMARE.
Ain't it the truth friends.
Ain't it the truth friends. Thanks for all of the great comments. You gave me some good laughs. Wine (and possibly some whiskey) are definitely in order:-)
Ugh, I am right there with
Ugh, I am right there with you. BM is supposed to keep skid the first weekend of every month, well guess what, as usual, DH said she text and she doesn't want him. As usual, she just needs a break and he needs a break from her, they are just not getting along at all, and he needs his Daddy. PUKE!!!!!! I SWEAR this bitch does this just to torture me since I have cut her out and she can't screw with me directly. She has got to know that I live for the weekends when he is not here. I have disengaged and don't allow him to be here unless DH is here, but he is still here Thurs nights and every morning before DH goes to work, it is so nice to have that weekend where I know he is not at MIL's and know DH will not be getting up every morning and bringing him back here, and now as if BM hasn't taken enough, she takes this and this is the 4th month in a row she has done this. I told DH I am doing my best to stay out of any and all thing skid related, but that on this, sorry, but grow a pair and realize she is just using you to get a break from the monster she created and ruining my one weekend of total skid free freedom. His way of dealing with it, insert head up ass and pretend like the situation is going to either go away or fix itself and not text her back. I swear if he doesn't put his foot down this time I will BLOW!!!!
It's amazing that they put so
It's amazing that they put so much more pressure on us as their step-parents than they do on BM. I always remind him that I didn't choose to be with her, so I shouldn't have to suffer the consequences of his bad choice. Plus the fact that BD2 is growing up into a well-mannered, well-behaved fun litter girl while BS15 is also well-mannered and a hard worker is great proof that I am doing a good job with my own kids and it's not me.
Sometimes DH asks "How can I have 2 kids that are so different?"
My answer? "They have very different moms and we parent BD2 ***together***"
Wow, what a novel concept.
I might have to try that huge
I might have to try that huge margarita trick:)
Just a little update. Last
Just a little update. Last night, DH discovered that someone had turned off our large freezer causing several items to thaw, including things we're storing for friends. He immediately thought it was my BS15, because according to him, it couldn't have thawed like that in 3+ hours. I reminded him that SS9 has a long and glorious habit of screwing with knobs on things (like the washer and dryer), and he likely did it. I really didn't want to get involved, but as soon as DH started accusing BS15 of doing it, even though he's been gone for days hanging out with friends, I was a pissed momma!
We were at a standstill for hours as SS9 denied doing it to my face, DH's face, and even BS15's face...pretty much accusing BS15 of doing it. And then, voila. He finally tells DH that he *did* do it afterall, probably 3 days ago. DH just couldn't believe it for some reason, but all he had to do was to look at his history of habitually lying and blaming things on others. DH did apologize to me and tell me that I was right, but I never understand how DH can keep that head of his in the sand all of the time about these sorts of things.
This morning, I told BS15 to let SS9 know how much that pissed him off on their ride in to school, and DH will deal with the punishment. My work is done on this crap. Don't mess with my kids, or my dukes will come up quickly.
Unbelievable!!!