Hello and thank you for reading. I am 28 and currently engaged to my wonderful fiance. He has a 3 year old daughter which we care for as he has full custody (mom is a junkie in jail currently). I've known her since she was just a little over 1 and she considers me her mom. I have taken on this role and plan on adopting her once we are married. I love her dearly and she is adorable but sometimes I just find that I cannot help get frustrated by her which leads to a lot of guilt and awkwardness. I've never been married before and have no children of my own so figuring out how to be a parent has also been a huge challenge for me. Most days are okay but there are periods of time when I feel I just don't want to be around her and I feel terrible for it. What makes it harder is that most of the behavior which bothers me, her father finds cute so he often gets upset when I ask her to stop. I feel like maybe if she were my biological child, I would be more patient but when she behaves badly, all I see is a bratty kid. What is making it harder is that we are currently planning our wedding and because this obviously centers more on he and I, she has really been exhibiting a lot more attention-seeking behavior. We went to take our engagement pictures last weekend and my mother came to keep her entertained during the process. She always goes nuts when she sees my mom and calls her grandma so we figured she'd be extremely happy to be there with her. Instead she kept trying to get in the pictures (we did include her in several as I wanted some with her too) and then ended up throwing a tantrum complete with screams and tears because she had to let us take some alone. After I calmed her down, we were trying to look at the pictures but she kept interrupting and when I asked if she wanted to see them, she just said no and stomped away. My feelings just get really hurt because it's like I can't be excited for our wedding without getting her mad or her butting in. I'm now nervous for our wedding day because I'm worried she will throw a tantrum during the ceremony which will really ruin it. I know she is young and wants attention but I am also going through some really exciting events in my life and don't want to feel guilty about wanting to enjoy them without worrying about it upsetting her. Lately when she comes home, she's all about daddy and how much she loves him. She otften tells people that she is the one getting married to her daddy. I just spent about $500 re-decorating her room with all new furniture & toys and she barely spends any time in her room which also hurts. Her father and I share all the duties of caring for her and he often says I do a lot more so that also makes it difficult because I am around her so much. He's a great dad and does back me up a lot of the time when she is misbehaving but she often tends to do things that only bother me and not him so he is less likely to say anything. I'm not strict by any means, I just believe she should ask for things nicely rather than say "I want..." and that when I tell her something, she doesn't run to ask daddy for a different answer. If I am meant to be mom, I feel my word should be respected. I've put a lot of time, effort, and love into our relationship and I just feel like I am getting very little credit from her. I plan things for us to do alone together and all together as a family so I have really worked on forming a bond with her but I still feel like an outsider at times. Anyone else feel like this or went through the same thing? How do you stay patient? Any advice would help. It's just nice knowing I'm not alone in my feelings and not a bad person.