Thank you to all -and a little story
Am a 41 yo SD of 17yo SD (lives with P grandmother), 8 yo SS and 4yo SS (both live with BF - long story). ANYWAY - BF (similar to most BMs mentioned here) took DW to "Child Support Mediation" here in Texas. It has only been 10 months since the divorce, and he was after my paycheck (I make 10 times what he does). He also wanted to provide his own health insurance coverage since mine is "out of network" where he is (not true - called the Ins co., but whatever - higher copays for him!) Well - my DW shone, and he almost had the child support reduced from $400 to $238 monthly because DW is now in nursing school full time! He withdrew his complaint and had to cry all the way home!
Thank you to all the members that gave me support and advice about the whole child support thing. It was a HUGE help! My DW went with Texas statutes in hand, and opened up a can of whoop-ass! Now I just have to file another CPS report since he continues to feed them only Spongebob macaroni and bacon so the 8yo is now is the 13 percentile of height and the 4yo has to be disimpacted every time he visits. Wish someone would remind BF that being custodial father isn't just taking the 8yo fishing and actually involved WORK. We offered to assume custody of both - but he declined. Funny how it was "all about the boys" until he realized that his child support money would be reduced.....
Thank you again to all! Viva la Steptalk! http://www.steptalk.org/images/smileys/smile.png
My bad - DW is paying child
My bad - DW is paying child support, but since she is in school - I am paying the child support and keeping the skids on my medical insurance. The spermdonor BF did complain about not receiving more CS, but once the mediator reworked the numbers - he would have had it reduced. Suddenly he wanted to stay with the old system. Thought it was about the boys? . . hmmm
I agree about CPS, but at least it keeps him on their radar, keeps him on edge, and will help us once we go back to court to gain custody.
Thank you for your comments.
BM ALERT!! Seriously
BM ALERT!! Seriously Mississippi02, Are you for real? "...give the benefit of the doubt..." - you must be a BM or BF to side with them. This is clearly child neglect, and I am bound by law to report it - period. I have reported him to CPS three times, and guess what - he FINALLY took the youngest to the pediatrician. Why don't you ask how many times he sat crying on the toilet because of the BF's wonderful diet. Here's another suggestion for the BF - give up custody to us. "Cooperate"? - you must be kidding. I would love to spend time in your fantasyland of cooperation and finding the benefit of the doubt with BMs and BFs.
Forgive me Mississippi02 - I
Forgive me Mississippi02 - I misinterpreted your statements as being from a BM. My mistake.
As for our story, DW's lawyer reccomended to us that she give up custody, then come back in a year to fight for custody because of "change of circumstance" (us getting married). It is a complicated tale, but thank the ultra-conservative courts of West Texas. No doubt they "might" have given custody to DW, but forced her to live in the same hometown as BF, 2 1/2 hours away from me - this is a common tactic the judges use here.
The 17 yo SD lives with P Grandmother because she didn't want to move 2 1/2 hours south away from her boyfriend. P Grandmother gives her everything, including weekly trips north so they can have sex and cut each other. I don't report that to CPS, or the boyfriend for statuatory rape because I figure it is the Grandmother's problem, she is too far gone to be saved, and in 10 months she will be 18 and I won't have to worry about her again. DW forces me to cover her on my insurance in addition to paying child support (DW doesn't work).
I guess I am just frustrated, confused and bitter about the whole situation. If you asked me 5 years ago if I would be in this situation, I would have laughed. Now I find myself stuck in this nightmare with nowhere to go, and no one to talk to except this forum.
So - please forgive me Mississippi02 - don't want to flame another stepparent. BTW - am a physician, so I have to report anything out of the ordinary to CPS. I have witnessed too many cases of neglect and abuse, and this is where it starts. And I am not an enema person - suppositories are bad enough (DW places them - she is a nurse). Just so frustrating that when the 4yo arrives for EOW visits he is always uncomfortable and terribly constipated. Thank you for your patience and hope to chat with you again on here sometime.