We have custody of my husband's kids. Princess 18 still visits her mom out of a sense of duty. PITA 15 quit going to see his mom about the time he hit 13. Now he only goes if he can get something out of the visit. When he turned 15 he started going every weekend because she was able to get him a weekend job where she works. Once he saved enough, he quit a few weeks ago, after just over a year. The other night he made the comment it would be too long if he NEVER had to visit there again. We can't even get him to call her every 2 weeks. Lazy Boye 15 still goes every few weeks, for the weekend. In another few months he will meet state requirements to begin working, and will probably work with her on the weekends.

This was the first summer in 12 years that the skids did not go stay with her for an extended visit over summer vacation. Usually she gets 5 consecutive weeks, although we usually spread it out since she can't really handle them 5 weeks at a time. I think the most any skid stayed for an extended time this summer was 5 days. And none of them went at the same time, they just kinda rotated around their schedules for sports, work and friends.

Probably sucks for her, but at the same time, I think she's probably a little relieved. As custodial step-mom, it was hard on me to get used to having them home on the weekends. Fortunately, they are old enough now I don't have to worrry about dragging them around on errands or getting a sitter for a date. I've finally made DH see that he needs to make sure I still get MY TIME with him- no kids.

My stepson went through a period when he was about 13 when he didn't want to visit. We didn't force it. My DH simply told him that he loved him and that he was disappointed that he wasn't going to see him. My stepdaughter still came for visitation. I think it lasted for about three or four months. My stepkids had been PAS'd so badly. I just don't think he knew whom to believe anymore.

Ironically, he decided to move in with us less than a year later. Both of the kids live with us full time now. Their mother did everything in her power to stop the custody change. But the judge said the kids were old enough to make their own decision.

My SD15(now) did this about 2 years ago. I was pregnant with my and DH's daughter and she and her brother, SS8(now) were so excited until new years eve when we were preparing for the baby's room. I'm not sure what happened or what was said but she left that weekend with hugs and kisses and then the following visitation weekend we were monsters and horrible people. She wound up missing her sister's birth and 1st year of life. We found out she was seeing a psychologist (no communication between BM or DH about this) so we contacted a lawyer and charged her with contempt. We wound up modifying the custody arrangement to accommodate our out-of-state situation, but have since moved back to PA where DH's kids are, so order is kind of obsolete. We're still dealing with visitation issues but at least she comes once a month, depending on her activities and whims. My DH did not want to push SD into seeing him if she didn't want to, but once we realized there were other major things going on that BM felt she "wasn't responsible for" (such as letting him know about the psychologist even though our insurance was getting billed for her visit), that's when we decided enough was enough.

If this is a situation you are dealing with, encourage SO to find out what son's issue is. If it's lack of information, support, etc., from BM, then charge her with contempt. If it's activities that are taking up time, there has to be a compromise.

Good luck.

In our situation SS is 16 and we see him 3 times a year - since we always do fun things and use those weeks for our vacations he has never not wanted to come. This year I called him to see how long he wanted to spend with us - I told him he could spend the whole summer, a month, the usual 2 weeks or anything in between - at the beginning of the convo it was a month then by the end he thought the 2 weeks would be best. BM lets him do what ever he wants - she is busy with the boyfriend. I do understand as he gets older he wants to be with his friends and I don't blame him - he has no friends here so it is just the family.

We have DD4 and when he first arrives it is all love by the 4th day they are ready to kill each other. This year in fact she came to me and said I don't know why but I don't like my brother right now (he just tormented her the entire week we were at the beach - even close friends of ours that came with us noticed and actually called him out on it) he also hurt her and I know it was intentionally to which I did threaten him and he knew I was not kidding. After that he calmed down somewhat with her but for the first time she did not cry when he left and she said she was happy he was leaving. I did not blame her but told her that he loved her and she should love him. We are going to Disney at Christmas so she is again excited to see him because she associates X-Mas with Disney this year - she is willing to see her stepbrother because she knows that she also gets to see Ariel and all of the princesses - lol.

SD quit coming when she was 16 and got pregnant. Since then she has been to our place three times - Christmas, Father's Day and for the baby shower we threw for her.

Now that she is 17 and has HAD the baby, she doesn't even bother to call to say she is not coming or communicate with us in any way. We have only seen the grand baby once since he was out of the hospital.

SS15 comes EOW without fail. In fact, he has argued with BM to come at non-visitation times.

I am not sure what happened with SD. I think she got PASed or else got mad because of the time when her BM kicked her out and she came to live with us. Then three days later BM threatened to call cops if we didn't bring her back.

I personally think that we should have went to court and got custody of SD (15 at the time). I think it bothered her that we just took her back to BMs.