SS10 spit food out at the dinner table.....GRRRRRRRR.
Ok, my step son doesn't like any vegetable besides raw carrots and corn, he hates any kind of potato other than fries and doesn't like many fruits either. He has been living with us for close to a year and he knows that at our house for dinner, we usually have a meat, a veggie and either a potato or pasta.
When he was living with his BM she let him eat whatever he wanted. He could have pizza rolls for breakfast all week long and she would be ok with it. His fav. is McDonalds. His whole life he wasn't made to do anything. He never had to eat veggies. So now that he is living with us he has to eat a veggie basically every night and he HATES it. He sometimes gets a choice if there are two on the table, but if not he has to eat whatever one is there. I swear, I gave him a teaspoon (TEASPOON) full of potatoes, they were sliced and off of the grill. He cut one of them in half, then cut that in half, starred at it for, no lie, a half an hr after he ate the meat then finally put the mini piece in his mouth and it was even dipped in ketchup and he didn't even chew it and spit it up into his cup of milk. It was this big dramatic scene. He sits at the dinner table every night staring at his veggies.
Some of you might say give him another option, but we aren't gonna to do that. We cooked it, you eat it. We give him another option, then we would have to give my BD another option too b/c she would want one b/c was able to get one. He can say "can we have this tonight" and that is fine, but the other days of the week are the same as above. He stares at it.
Does anyoen remember we you were younger and we had to eat what our parents cooked whether we liked it or not. You can choose not to eat it when your older, but for right now, it's something you need to eat to stay healthy and it's just what's for dinner. I wanted to knock him out when he did that. He thought it was funny. I thought it was nasty and rude. Anyone out there ever had this happen? any thoughts on this one?
DH is very supportive. He is
DH is very supportive. He is very strict. SS is lucky DH didn't actually see him spit that out b/c he would've spanked him and then sent him to his room for the night. I told him about it and he told me I should've disciplined him. The thing is he just came to live with us and I feel like the disciplining should be by him and not me. I yell at him and give tell him to go to his room, but the spanking thing should be done by DH in my opinion. Even my 6 yr old knows better than to do that so he REALLY knows better and knew it was wrong. DH gives him 10 extra minutes after everyone is done to finish all of it so DH is on it and doesn't play games when it comes to eating at the table.
BM is not in the picture at
BM is not in the picture at all (that's a whole other post which might be part of the problem) but when she was in it she didn't EVER discipline him. She thought him swearing at her and everyone was funny, him being in trouble didn't matter, she just told him to not do it again. So there was NO structure in her house at all. When he came to ours it's a whole new world for him, but it's been almost a year and he should know the routine by now.
I agree thought that BD is the person who should handle that.
I like your ideas. I will def. put those into play next time. The tv, computer and game time doesn't matter, but I think writing out a couple pages might. Taking out the potato and drink the milk is def. something I would think of though. Gross yet you learn your lesson to not do it again. The other option was to give him just a whole pile of potatoes w/no milk
One punishment I did give him before was cleaning. 3 straight hrs of it. That was a reward and punishment in itself.
I can tell you what we do
I can tell you what we do with picky eaters at our house: We don't make an issue out of it. If you don't want to eat supper, fine. I'm not going to get into a contest about it. I put a piece of foil over the plate and put it into the fridge. If the child comes back an hour later hungry, I pull out the plate.
If it's something that the child has truly tried and simply does not like, I don't make them eat it. There is always something on the plate that they'll eat. I don't cook another option. But I'll allow them to get a healthy snack later on...an apple, cheese and crackers, etc....
And spitting out food is just disgusting! That would have earned an evening in the bedroom at this house.
I think if he had a thing or
I think if he had a thing or two we could tell he REALLY didn't like we could let it go, but he doesn't like many things so it's hard to let any go. It's like starting with a kid who is a toddler and introducing all the vegetables to him. My daughter eats almost EVERY vegetable around. She will ask to get raw mushrooms when we go shopping. What kid asks for those...hehe. We don't give him much room b/c I only give him half the amount I give my 6 yr old just so he could get used to eating them and then I give bigger portions after he's had the vegetable a couple times. The snack option comes along if they are still hungry after eating dinner, but we have done the wrapping up of the plate. He has come back too and the plate was the suggestion. He would rather starve.
Gross and yes, when we were
Gross and yes, when we were kids we always had a meat, veggie, and rice, potatoes etc. and we had to take at least a little bit of each thing (even if we didn't like it)
I was my poor mother's worst nightmare as I hated most veggies and didn't like to drink milk... but what I liked (or disliked) really didn't matter, I still had to have a glass of milk with every meal, and I had to eat my veggies.. there was no debating it.
If at all possible...I used to swallow my veggies whole with my milk (like taking pills) ha ha
...but NEVER would have dreamed of spitting food out and wasting my valuable play time at the dinner table staring at food!
That's how it was in my house
That's how it was in my house too. I grew up in a catholic house and during lent it was fish sticks almost every friday and I hate fish, but you suck it up and eat it b/c mom said so. We did our time when we were younger and the kids now have to do theirs. I don't eat fish to this day, but mom told me to eat it and I did. Kids get off easy these days. I ate what was given, period.
Believe me when he spit that food out, he was close to getting a slap in the back of the head. I think I was shocked he even did it that I didn't even get a sentence out. I just gave him a look like did you really just do that? he still sat there till he finished it.
It's funny you say that you gulped the veggies, my SS has started to do that too. Gulping them whole or holding his nose while he chewed...hehe. That is the main thing I told him is you could be out playing, but instead you are sitting here b/c you don't wanna eat 5 green beans?
I've done the foil over the plate and save it for later too. You could either eat it now or next day it will still be waiting. He would rather not eat and wait for breakfast. SS and BD can have a snack later if they finish dinner and are still a little bit hungry, but if you didn't eat dinner then you don't get a snack b/c it's kind of like you got out of dinner and he will try and do it all the time.
I am a vegetable hater myself
I am a vegetable hater myself so i emphathize with anyone that dislikes veggies. I hated them-as an adult I have expanded my palate and do eat them more but still I cant say I genuinely enjoy them it's because as an adult I know they are good for me. My parents nevver made me eat veggies. I dont remember if they made me try them once, but I cant ever remember them making me. i did eventually find a few things i liked-salads, cucumbers prepared a certain way, corn, potatoes and I did enjoy fruit. My parents tried to make the veggies that I would eat. My kids arent particular fans of veggies, but will eat limited amounts of most things. I was traumatized once by someone trying to force me to eat those nasty canned stewed tomatoes. It was a teacher in grade school. She tried to force me and I vomited on my lunch tray. Certainly didnt do it on purpose, it was just that unappealing to me. 30 years later I still remember that. Also if my kids refuse supper, I dont make a big deal-I just dont allow them to have any sort of snacks later other than a healthy thing after a few hours after the meal
Do you think that if your
Do you think that if your parents made you try some more of the veggies you might like them more now? Stewed tomatoes? that just sounds rough. My cousin used to hate veggies and my aunt would hold her mouth open and put them in...hehe. She was old school to were your going to eat them or else!
i was never forced to eat
i was never forced to eat anything i didnt like as a child. however, i did like most veggies. i do not force my dd3 to eat anything she doesnt like, but fortuneatly i dont think there is anything she doesnt like...lol
now the skids on the other hand...they eat nothing but JUNK at bm's house and drink nothing but soda...not at my house! like you, we always have some sort of veggie and potato or pasta with dinner. i do not make them eat it. we encourage them to atleast try it, if they dont like it, fine, dont eat it but they do not get anything specially made for them either. and definatley no unhealthy snack later when they are hungry because they didnt have a full meal! they can always eat left overs if they are truley hungry!! this actually happend last night skids didnt want the sweet peas i cooked oh well!! but they did eat the corn.
spitting the food out at the table like that is pure disrespect and at my parents house i would have been smacked!! lol dh would not allow that either some form of punishment would have been served!
I agree. She was too busy
I agree. She was too busy going out and partying that she would always ship my SS and his 1/2 brother off to his dad's house. She was more worried about herself 3/4 of the time so fast food, junk and whatever you want was her motto.
When my SS stb12 was maybe 5
When my SS stb12 was maybe 5 or 6, we were having mashed potatoes with dinner. He is one of those "only eats fries", but otherwise can't stand potatoes. I thought it was that they didn't really look all that good, so I made him try a small bite of mashed potatoes. He sat there and made "throw up" noises. I was so pissed that I made him stand in the corner. To this day...he will only eat french fries. This from a boy that will eat sushi!!
It's the same thing. He will
It's the same thing. He will only eat fries and no other potato. I gave him the speech that a fries are only potatoes deep fried and he didn't care to even try them, but he had to anyway. We are still at the point that we don't know what he really HATES when it comes to food b/c he hates it all. I think after he eats the veggies more and can stand some and we are able to point out the one he actually hates, then he could probably get away with a pass once and a while.
For the most part my DH makes him eat everything b/c he has already been caught lieing a handful of times so we never know when he is telling the truth. One night we had pea's for dinner and he actually took the pea's one by one and threw them on the floor when nobody was watching. Then he asked me if he was doing good eating b/c they were almost gone, until I caught him. I couldn't believe it. That time he actually got 1 huuuuge scoop more of pea's and 3 mins to eat it all.
Our kids have to try
Our kids have to try everything. They balk but they must try it. Now doing this has increased SS12 palate considerably. Still won't eat squash so I make them another veggie. But, they still have to have a bite. I even get him to eat Brussel Sprouts now. He has to eat three. He does it. We just never accepted otherwise. I make it you at least have to try it. Hold firm, it does get better.
Thank you for the response.
Thank you for the response. My cousin did the same thing with her kids and now they actually like some of veggies and they want more. That is why we have stood firm b/c if you've never tried it, you don't know if you don't like it. Like I said earlier, we would possibly give in now and then IF he we knew he actually hated-hated something, but at this point it's not an option b/c he hates everything. Kids need to be pushed a bit in life whether it's w/homework, veggies, sports or anything else they come across. That is the job of a BM, BD, SM and SD. To help them to have a variety in life. Just my opinion.